quote goodness

"We want our money back now for the taxpayers," House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said.

[on 90-100% taxes on Bailouts.]

Big O helps make baby; seems to help get it out, too?

A new documentary claims that somewhere in the midst of shooting an 8 pound creature out of a 1 inch well, slit.....women in labor actually have orgasms
The documentary is called Orgasmic Birth, and tells women rather than feeling agony, they should thoroughly enjoy childbirth.

The movie is being shown throughout England, and shows women climaxing while bringing life into the world. Critics, though, say it looks like a cheesy porn...with an extra little guy in there.

One of the women in the film, Amber Hartnell, 29, says she experienced a climax just over halfway through giving birth to her son Orus, now 3 1/2.
'All of a sudden, the orgasm just started rolling through and rolling through, and it just kept coming,' says Amber, who lives in Hawaii.

She says she'd never read a childbirth book in her life 'so she could be open to the process'.
[just for the Rachel Paiste record, she did have a water birth. clearly why]

Orgasms, according to the film's producer Debra Pascali-Bonaro, are 'the best-kept secret' in childbirth.
quote directly from daily mail: But according to the panel of experts collected together for this film in order to tell us how to find sensual pleasure in birth, those contractions which make you feel like your insides are being pulled apart by two juggernauts are, in fact, waves of pleasure we mothers are too uptight to recognise.

Their argument is that if only we all gave birth at home, without gas and air, and surrendered to the experience, we'd all be shouting 'Yes, yes, yes' louder than Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally.

'When the baby's coming down the birth canal, remember, it's going through the exact same positions as something going in - the penis going into the vagina, which often leads to orgasm,' says Dr Christiane Northrup, who seems to display a rather limited appreciation of the female anatomy.

Putin Playing Tourist for KGB

Making Texas a Bit less Orange.

AUSTIN, Texas (AP) -- A proposal in Texas to restrict tanning bed usage is being compared to legislation against Big Tobacco.

"In the United states and Texas, we don't allow our teens to purchase cigarettes until after they are 18 because it is a carcinogen," said Rep. Burt Solomons, R-Carrollton. "Yet we don't do that for tanning beds, which can expose teens to the same risk for cancer."

The bill would require anyone under 18 years old to get a doctor's note before using a tanning bed and would require a parent be with them in the salon. Supporters and detractors said this would be the strictest legislation any state has passed on teen tanning.

In testimony to the board Tuesday, one of the state's largest tanning salons said current oversight is strong enough, and that parents should decide whether their child can use a tanning bed.

"This should not be a state issue, a doctor's issue -- it's a parental issue. I have a right to decide what is right or wrong for my daughter," said Diane Lucas, president of Texas-based Palm Beach Tan. She was also representing the Indoor Tanning Association.

Both sides acknowledged that a doctor's note would be difficult to get if the bill passed.

The bill was left pending in the House Public Health Committee.

Celebrity Odd couple

so tall...so short...so funny!

Good Cop, Fat Cop

Bellevue, Nebraska was one fat officer short in their PD, but not for long.

The Nebraska Court of Appeals this week reversed their decision regarding the termination of Christopher D. Parent, saying that it was not legal to fire him because of his obesity.

Parent, 52, had been a member of the Police Department for more than 25 years. He was fired after a combat shooting exercise in August 2007, after an internal investigation determined that he was not maintaining a “high level of physical, mental and emotional conditioning.” There is a policy on their books requiring officers to remain physically fit while on duty. At 5'9", 300 lbs., Parent didn't make the cut.

Michael Polk, an attorney representing the city, said “It was a policy that was part of an outdated wellness program, and it was removed because of that,” he said. Polk said it was standard for officers to self-report by filling out a sheet detailing how they stayed healthy and fit.

The City of Bellevue could let the case go — re-instating Parent in a few months — or send the case to the Nebraska Supreme Court for further review, putting Parent’s job back on the line. No decision have been made as of yet.

Zucker to Stewart: Shut Your Pie Hole!

In the perpetual back and forth NBC Universal Chief Executive Jeff Zucker and comedian/TV host Jon Stewart, Zucker took his most recent jab:

"Everybody wants to find a scapegoat. That's human nature. But to suggest that the business media or CNBC was responsible for what is going on now is absurd."

Networks pissed that Obama's "prime time"

Who knew? Networks are livid that Obama is, yet again, demanding prime time air for his latest address.

Next Tuesday Obama will interrupt regular programming on the Big Four broadcast networks, much to their chagrin.

"At a time when we're struggling not only financially but to build audiences, this doesn't help on either front," one network executive said. "These repeated interruptions -- and the rumor of even more to come -- really make it difficult to build audience flow and loyalty. We will all lose one or two million dollars for this."

This speech comes during sweeps and after a week of new lows in the ratings.

"I believe in the president and his policies, and as broadcasters we have a responsibility to provide the airtime," said another network insider. "But these frequent primetime requests are wreaking serious havoc with our schedule and our advertisers. Ratings are down everywhere and the airtime is costing us all significant dollars when we can least afford it."

>> Fox will move Tuesday's two-hour performance episode of "Idol" to Wednesday, and the Wednesday episode to Thursday at 8 p.m. That puts "Idol" against the mega-rated NCAA finals.
>> NBC will move Tuesday's two-hour "Biggest Loser" to 9 p.m., preempting "Law & Order: SVU."
>> CBS is dumping "Without a Trace" and moving "NCIS" and "The Mentalist" forward an hour.
>> ABC will cancel previously planned back-to-back episodes of "According to Jim."

Important Presidential Business: NCAA Brackets.

While Congress took it hard for the AIG bonuses, Obama spent his time Tuesday choosing his bracket. (He chose NC....go tarheels!)
As could be expected, their rival coach was NOT happy.

"Somebody said that we're not in President Obama's Final Four, and as much as I respect what he's doing, really, the economy is something that he should focus on, probably more than the brackets," Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski said from the Blue Devils' first-round site in Greensboro, N.C.

"Here's what I like about Carolina: experience and balance," Obama said.
(funny, you really have neither, guy)

"Now, for all the Tar Heels who are watching, I picked you last year — you let me down," Obama said on ESPN. "This year, don't embarrass me in front of the nation, all right? I'm counting on you. I still got those sneakers you guys gave me."

saddest emerson rejection. ever

More on Miley-Radiohead Battle

(US Weekly) - A war of words has erupted between Miley Cyrus and her former rock Gods Radiohead.
After earlier being quoted saying “Stinkin’ Radiohead! I’m gonna ruin them, I’m gonna tell everyone,” Miley is taking the heat herself.

A spokesperson for the band responds on their behalf, “When Miley grows up, she’ll learn not to have a sense of entitlement.”

Perpetuatl Darwin: Robbing Black Belts

FOX POINT, Wis. (AP) - Not learning from his predecessors, a robber idiotically targeted a Tae Kwon Do studio in suburban Milwaukee for his hit.

Studio owner David Kang was giving a private lesson Tuesday and heard someone in his office. Kang found the man going through his closet, grabbed him by the neck and sat him down while he called police.

The robber took off and Kang gave chase, finally catching up with the man and holding him by the neck until police arrived.

Woman finds hungry calico cat hiding in $27 couch

SPOKANE, Wash.(The Spokesman-Review) - The mysterious mewing in Vickie Mendenhall's home started about the same time she bought a used couch for $27.

After days of searching for the source of the noise, she found a very hungry calico cat living in her sofa.

Her boyfriend, Chris Lund, was watching TV on Tuesday night and felt something move inside the couch.

He pulled it away from the wall, lifted it up and there was the cat, which apparently had crawled through a small hole on the underside.

Mendenhall contacted Value Village, where she bought the couch, but the store had no information on who donated it.

So she took the cat to SpokAnimal CARE, the animal shelter where she works, so it could recover, and contacted media outlets in hopes of finding the owner.

Sure enough, Bob Killion of Spokane showed up to claim the cat on Thursday after an acquaintance alerted him to a TV story about it.

Killion had donated a couch on Feb. 19, and his nine-year-old cat, Callie, disappeared at about the same time.

Creative Bank Robbery Trick 623

Nicosia, Cyrpus - A hooded man robbed a bank in the Cyprus capital on Friday after breaking in through a window and hiding in the toilet until it's opening.

After rushing out and threatening a chashier and the first morning customers with a gun, the robber escaped with 17,500 euros and 9,300 dollars, officials at the Kaimakli Co-op branch said.

Police said they were investigating why the alarm failed to go off when the man broke in.

"When the branch opened, and as the cashier went to put money in the till, a hooded man approached her from behind and took the money at gunpoint. It seems the alarm did not work," Nicosia deputy police chief Sotiris Kotsikas said.

A member of the public gave chase after seeing what had happened but to no avail, although the fleeing robber did drop his gun which turned out to be a fake.

Wash. man caught in HOV lane with unbuckled dummy

BELLEVUE, Wash. (AP) - The State Trooper pulled over a commuter in the HOV lane for a run-of-the mill seat belt violation after spotting the belt buckle dangling on the passenger side. What he found was anything but.

The passenger did not need to be belted in. The passenger was nothing more than a rain jacket draped over plastic piping, topped off with a Halloween mask of Gandalf, the "Lord of the Rings" wizard, a beard and a baseball cap.

Patrol spokeswoman Christina Martin told The Herald of Everett that the driver acknowledged trying to beat traffic by using the HOV lane.

The trooper issued a $124 ticket and confiscated the dummy.

Malaysian mistakes woman for a monkey, shoots her

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) - As a woman in Malaysia was calmly picking sapodilla friut out of her neighbors tree, she could have no idea what the next 3 minutes would bring her. Thinking she was a monkey, the neighbor shot her. Only did he know that she was human when she screamed and fell from the tree.

The woman was hospitalized with a wound to the abdomen but her condition was stable Friday.

The man, a volunteer security corps member, is under investigation for illegally discharging a firearm, which carries a maximum prison term of two years.

Strange substance found in Ala. bathroom soap dispenser

MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) - The Interstate 10 welcome center in Baldwin County is closed until it gets test results on a suspicious substance found in a soap dispenser. Alabama Department of Transportation spokesman Tony Harris said Friday the department is waiting on tests as a precaution.

The center was closed Monday because of an unusual odor in the men's restroom and because the liquid soap in a dispenser in that bathroom had an unusual color.

The center's attendants saw doctors as a precaution, but Harris said no problems were found.

BUT WHAT WAS THIS DANGEROUS, FETID SUBSTANCE?

Quite possibly, I kid you not, NEW SOAP. Just 3 days before a similar incident occurred on Interstate 65.
Clinton Country rest stops were complained after workers expressed concern over a new color in the materials collected in the soap dispenser.

On-scene tests revealed the substance was a soap product, but not the normal soap used in the restroom soap dispensers. ALDOT officials are exploring whether a product labeling mistake caused the confusion.

The on-scene tests were conducted by the Alabama National Guard’s Civil Response Team based in Montgomery. Additional tests may help confirm if a product labeling mistake resulted in a different soap being used.

But back to Baldwin: Pending final test results, ALDOT officials hope to open the Baldwin County welcome center on Wednesday.

Internet Cookie Sale Fail.

ASHEVILLE, N.C. (AP) - A North Carolina Girl Scout's who has already sold 700 boxes of cookies through YouTube has been shut down.

8-year-old Wild Freeborn posted a video with the hopes of selling enough boxes to send her troop to summer camp. Scout officials say it violates a ban on Internet sales and told her to take it down. No word on whether or not she retains those 700 sales.

Girl Scouts of the USA spokeswoman Denise Pesich says the organization wants to ensure fairness for all girls and the policy is to protect the girls' safety.

Foie Gras Week protester sitting out this year

PHILADELPHIA (AP) - The organizer of past protests of Foie Gras Week in Philadelphia is sitting out this year. Humane League of Philadelphia organizer Nick Cooney says his group—formerly called "Hugs for Puppies"—hasn't found picketing restaurants to be effective. He says the group now focuses on persuading institutions such as colleges to stop buying eggs from hens confined to tight cages.

Portugal Attempts Salt Ban

LISBON (Reuters) - Alarmed by high death rates from strokes in Portugal, deputies from the ruling Socialist party submitted a bill to parliament Friday to slash the use of salt in bread, blamed for many blood pressure problems.

The country's key dietary staple -- dried salted cod that is rehydrated and cooked in many different ways -- has made the Portuguese accustomed to using more salt in food than other nations, and bakers add generous amounts to their dough.

Bread is one of the main sources of salt intake and many Portuguese eat it with every meal.

"Portugal currently has one of the highest mortality rates from strokes in Europe, which is about double that observed in Spain and three times that in France," the draft bill reads.

The document also cited a recent study by the Sciences and Health Faculty of Fernando Pessoa University as saying daily salt intake in Portugal was about double the 5.8 grammes a day limit recommended by the World Health Organization.

Chilli Peppers WAKE tired drivers

BEIJING (Reuters) - Police in southwest China are spicing up drivers with raw chili in a bid to stop them falling asleep at the wheel, a newspaper said Wednesday.

Police in the Chongqing region have started serving drivers chili peppers at highway service stations, holding to the traditional Chinese belief that people often feel more sleepy in the Spring, the Chongqing Evening News said.

Most of the drivers are from neighboring Sichuan, Yunnan and Hunan provinces, where chilies are a local favorite, it added.

"It's really good to have some hot peppers when you are tired from driving," van driver Chen Jun was quoted by the newspaper as saying. "They make you alert."

China's roads have long been among the most dangerous in the world due to overloaded and speeding trucks and drivers who switch lanes without signaling and often ignore traffic lights.

next up: shared Weddings.

HARGEISA, Somalia (Reuters) - Twenty-one couples have shared a joint wedding in Somalia, where the traditional lavish celebrations are increasingly unaffordable at a time of economic slump.

The function was arranged by Telsom, a telecoms company that employs all the bridegrooms.

The expense of a traditional wedding, especially when economic times are hard, is driving some young Somalis to leave their homeland. These lucky 42 wed on Tuesday.

"One of the reasons why the youth migrate is weddings are expensive, and I appeal to the community to simplify marriage by reducing the cost," Sheikh Mohamed Sheikh Omar Dirir, one of the area's most prominent religious leaders, told guests.

Strictly Muslim, men and women party separately.

Amidst Recession Fears, Barter Agreements Ensue.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A New York funeral director is offering a free funeral to who ever will undertake a construction job at his Manhattan home.

"It may sound like a laughable barter transaction, but consider the average cost of paying for a funeral. ... Ask someone that recently had a funeral what they paid!!!" wrote funeral director Peter Dohanich, 51, in a listing posted on Craigslist last week.

Dohanich said he is looking for a builder or contractor to do some remodeling for a new patio but did not have the cash on hand for the project. "Someone told me, if you're looking for services, look on barter," Dohanich said.

So far, Dohanich said he has gotten a few calls from prospective takers but has not yet filled the job.

The average cost of a funeral in the United States is about $7,300, according to the National Funeral Directors Association, which said it was not aware of any precedent for bartering funeral services. That makes this a fairly even exchange, with work expected to cost $6-10,000.

Dead People Can't Pay TV Bill.

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German mathematician who died 450 years ago has been sent a letter demanding that he pay long-overdue television license fees, residents at his former address said on Wednesday.

Germany's GEZ broadcast fee collection office sent the bill to the last home address of Adam Ries, an algebra expert who bought the house in 1525. A club in his honor was set up at the property four centuries later.

"We received a letter saying 'To Mr Adam Ries' on it, with the request to pay his television and radio fees," said Annegret Muench, who now heads the club.

Muench returned the letter to the GEZ with a note explaining the request had come too late because Ries had died in 1559, centuries before the invention of television and radio. She nonetheless received a reminder a few weeks later.

This was not the first time the GEZ had sent a bill to those in the afterlife. Last year, a school named after poet Friedrich Schiller received a reminder asking him to declare all radios and televisions in his home and pay the corresponding fees.

Miley Mad at Radiohead

MTV- Miley Cyrus can probably meet anyone she wants to these days. After all, she is the face of the Disney Teen Queen generation.

But there is one group of guys that aren't having any of it: Despite Miley's best efforts last month at the Grammy Awards to get some face time with Radiohead, she failed miserably.

"I'm like, these are the people I really want to meet," Miley said on the Johnjay and Rich morning radio show on Tuesday. "I'd freak out. They're my rock gods. These are the only people I would cry over."

The 16-year-old pop star tried to use her people to make it happen when they were all at the February 8 awards show. "[I told my manager], 'Pull as many strings.' My manger asked and said, 'Miley's really obsessed.' And they were like, 'We don't really do that.' "

Her disappointment was especially hard because "they're the reason I love music," she said. "Just to say you don't really do that — it's not like I was going to bring my crew. I had already texted all my friends that my life will be complete [if I got to meet them].

"We were all freaking out," she recalled, saying their snub was "obnoxious." "This is someone I would cry over."

Devastated, Cyrus didn't even stick around to see Thom Yorke and crew perform during the show. "I left 'cause I was so upset. I wasn't going to watch. Stinkin' Radiohead!" she said. "I'm gonna ruin them, I'm going to tell everyone."

Good luck RUINING THEM, ya turd.

epic disease treatment

from mothernature.com
Homeopathic Treatment for Conjunctivitis: Imagery

Close your eyes, breathe out three times and imagine yourself standing in a large, open field of green grass on a beautiful day, writes New York City psychiatrist Gerald Epstein, M.D., in his book Healing Visualizations. Envision stretching up toward the sun. Notice that your arms are becoming very long as you reach, palms up, into the sky. The sun’s rays seep into your palms and circulate through the palms and fingers and beyond the fingertips so that there is a ray beyond each fingertip. If you are right-handed, see a small hand at the end of each ray of the fingertips of your right hand and five small eyes at the end of each ray of the fingertips of your left hand (if you’re left-handed, reverse the order).

Turn these small eyes and hands toward your eyelid. Use the small eyes to help you see what the small hands are doing. Take a golden feather in one of your small hands and clean out all of the redness and inflammation from the conjunctiva, the delicate membrane lining the eyelid. With another small hand, shine a blue laser light along the conjunctiva that you’ve just cleansed. Picture the conjunctiva healing. Open your eyes and breathe out.

Do this exercise three times daily, one to two minutes a session, for 21 days, says Dr. Epstein.

Clnl Sanders is Cool Dude Once Again.

TOKYO (Reuters) - Ecstatic fans of the Hanshin Tigers baseball team tossed the statue of the Kentucky Fried Chicken mascot into the Dotonbori River in Osaka in 1985 when the perpetual underdogs won their first Central League pennant in 21 years.

Tiger fans, who saw a resemblance between the Colonel and the team's bearded American slugger, Randy Bass, jumped into what was then one of the country's most polluted rivers when the losing streak ended -- and took the life-size statue with them.

The team went on to win the national championship, the Japan Series, that year but has never done so again, prompting some to suggest that the Colonel's disappearance put a curse on them.

A diver checking for unexploded bombs from World War Two in the river as part of a clean-up found the Colonel's top half on Tuesday, minus his hands and glasses but still sporting his trademark string tie and grin.

"When I heard the statue had been found, I felt that history had ended," Yoshio Yoshida, 75, Hanshin manager at the time, was quoted by the Asahi newspaper as saying. "Recalling 1985, I'd like them to achieve the dream of being Japan No. 1 again."

The Colonel's smile might have widened if it could on Wednesday, when his bottom half was recovered and reunited with the top. "It's only a statue, but I felt as if I was rescuing someone," a worker told reporters after the lower half was found.

DORK FACTOR: 10,000

My New Non-Job?

A Cure for Being Gay?

Daily Mail - Lesbians living in South Africa are being raped by men who believe it will 'cure' them of their sexual orientation, a report has revealed.

Women are reporting a rising tide of brutal homophobic attacks and murders and the widespread use of 'corrective' rape as a form of punishment.

The report, commissioned by international NGO ActionAid, called for South Africa's criminal justice system to recognise the rapes as hate crimes as police are reportedly failing to take action over the spiralling violence.

The extent of the brutality became clear when Eudy Simelane, former star of South Africa's national female football squad, became one of the victims last April.

Simelane, one of the first women to live openly as a lesbian and an equality rights campaigner, was gang-raped and beaten before being stabbed to death 25 times in the face, chest and legs.

Sperminating on a whole new level.

PITTSFIELD (Berkshire Eagle) — A woman who allegedly intended to artificially inseminate her wife with her brother's semen has been charged with domestic assault and battery.

Jennifer A. Lighten, 33, told police that Stephanie Lighten, her 26-year-old wife, was "all liquored up" when she returned to their Lincoln Street apartment, where the defendant then allegedly tried to use a syringe to inseminate her, according to a police report.

Jennifer told investigating officers that Stephanie "has been talking about trying to impregnate (her) for some time," police said.

According to a report by Pittsfield Police Officer Kipp D. Steinman: "Jennifer said that Stephanie had a 'turkey baster and her brother's semen in a sealed container.' Jennifer said she told Stephanie that she didn't want to get pregnant." The device was actually a large syringe with a catheter tip, police said, and it was still in its original package when officers confiscated the item.

That's allegedly when Stephanie threw Jennifer on the couch, grabbed at her clothes and threatened to impregnate her, police said.

When Stephanie went to retrieve an ice pack from the freezer, Jennifer bolted from the apartment and attempted to get away in the couple's sport utility vehicle, police said.

10-second Phone Charge?

Scientists have jsut invented a phone batery that can charge in just 10 seconds. The device charges 100 times as fast as a conventional battery, and could be used in phones, laptops, ipods, and cameras within 2-3 years.

The same technology could even allow an electric car to be charged up in the same time that it takes to fill a conventional car with petrol - removing one of the biggest obstacles to green, clean motoring.

The quick-charge battery is the brainchild of engineers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

The MIT team say their invention uses materials already available to battery manufacturers and would be simple to mass produce.
The invention is based on conventional lithium ion rechargeable batteries.

Boston Supports Deadbeats and Wife Beaters

The STAGGERING results of an informal Boston Public Health Commission survey are in, and they are truly despicable.

Nearly half of the 200 Boston teenagers interviewed said pop star Rihanna was responsible for the beating she allegedly took at the hands of boyfriend Chris Brown in February.

Of those questioned, ages 12 to 19, 71 percent said that arguing was a normal part of a relationship; 44 percent said fighting was a routine occurrence.

"I think you'd have to be pretty jaded if you weren't startled by it," said Casey Corcoran, director of the health commission's new Start Strong program. Corcoran, among others, is shocked by the acceptance of domestic violence as "part of life."

Corcoran said the Rihanna and Brown controversy, which is one of today's top entertainment news stories and a topic of conversation for young people, allows for teachers and parents to begin conversations about the dangers, and prevalence, of domestic violence.

"This is something tough for parents to bring up, but this is a very big case regarding domestic violence," said Corcoran, pointing out that Oprah Winfrey devoted her television show yesterday to teen dating violence and featured the Start Strong initiative.

"This is an opportunity to start those conversations; it shouldn't end with a survey," Corcoran said.

Health counselors are specifically concerned with teenagers' views of the controversy. Of the teens questioned, more than half said both Brown, 19, and Rihanna, 21, were equally responsible for the assault. More than half said the media were treating Brown unfairly, and 46 percent said Rihanna was responsible for the incident.

We R A nation of G00ns

WASHINGTON (AP) - The White House objected Thursday to U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon's description of the United States as a "deadbeat" donor to the world body.

Ban used the phrase Wednesday during a private meeting with lawmakers at the Capitol, one day after he met with President Barack Obama in the Oval Office.

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said Ban's "word choice was unfortunate," given that the U.S. is the largest contributor to the United Nations.

The United States pays 22 percent of the organization's nearly $5 billion operating budget but is perennially late paying its dues.

Ban, apparently concerned about his choice of words, issued a statement late Wednesday saying the U.S. "generously supports the work of the U.N., both in assessed and voluntary contributions." Ban also said he enjoys "an excellent working relationship with the United States and appreciates the many ways that it supports the United Nations."

Hola Gual-Mart, que Onda?!

Recognizing that the hispanic population is soaring in the southwestern US, Wal-mart plans to open Latino Markets in Arizona and Texas.

The pilot stores, named Supermercado de Walmart, will open in Phoenix and Houston in remodelled 39,000 sq ft locations occupied previously by two of Wal-Mart’s Neighborhood Market stores.

The retailer chose stores in “strongly Hispanic neighbourhoods” to remodel. Signage and product assortment designed to be relevant to local Hispanic customers”. The staff will all be bilingual.

Wal-Mart’s Sam’s Club warehouse store also plans to open a 143,000 sq ft Hispanic-focused store called Más Club in Houston this year.

Several leading regional US supermarket chains already operate Hispanic store brands, including Publix in Florida, which operates three Publix Sabor markets, and HEB in Texas, which opened a Mi Tienda store in Houston in 2006.

Mas Goya y Juanes, que buenissimo!

10 Points for Excommunicated Doc

BRASILIA, Brazil (CNN) -- Usually, when a rape victim is impregnated, the answer "abortion" seems fairly logical. Not to the Catholic Church! They excommunicated a Brazilian doctor for aborting twins in a 9-year-old rape victim. The girl had been repeatedly abused by her stepfather, who was not banned from the church. Archbishop Don Jose Cardoso Sobrinho of Recife did excommunicate the doctor, the child's mother and the medical team involved in the procedure. The child was not excommunicated, Sobrinho said, because Catholic Church law says minors are exempt from excommunication.

President Lula agreed with the abortion, saying "As a Christian and a Catholic, I find it deeply lamentable that a bishop of the Catholic Church has such a conservative attitude," on Globo TV.

The banned doc did receive some credit recently with a standing ovation for his work this week(at a Women's Health event).

A new report by Brazil's IPAS, a non-governmental organization that works with the health ministry, indicates that more than 1 million women undergo illegal abortions in Brazil each year.

This abortion was performed in Brazil's northeastern city of Recife.

I take back My love for Nuwabianism

Dwight York (born June 26, 1945[1] or 1935[2]), also known as Malachi Z. York, Issa Al Haadi Al Mahdi, et alii, is an author, black supremacist leader[3], musician, and convicted child molester, who founded various esoteric fraternal orders and black nationalist groups collectively referred to as Nuwaubians.
York incorporates a "©™" suffix into his signature on a Liberian Consulate document

York and the Nuwaubians came under increased government scrutiny in the early 1990s after they built Tama-Re, an ancient Egyptian-themed "city" featuring pyramids, temples, and living quarters for hundreds of his followers, in Putnam County, Georgia. He was arrested in May 2002, charged with over 100 counts of child molestation and other charges, and was convicted in 2004 and sentenced to 135 years in prison.

...Little Cubes....I will Turn you into Little Cubes...

sorry, more Nuwaubianism

Honestly, it just keeps getting better!

Disco was created by the devil to win the souls of the Nubians: "The evil one knows that he can control the music world as long as his agents are within the A & R (Artists and Repertoire, who are responsible for choosing who makes it in the music world) of the well known companies. He cannot evaluate Latin or Black music because he (the evil one) has no soul. He only duplicates it… He had to come up with something to win our souls through his means, and he did it with disco."

more words from my Nuabian leader.

Malachai Z. York:
Furthermore, some aborted fetuses survive their abortion to live in the sewers, where they are being gathered and organized to take over the world.[40]

Quote of the Day

From the books of Nuwabi, my new favorite religion.

York once explained the "Tamahus" (whites) this way: "[They] have an unlit solar plexus sun, they only have a moon or lunar plexus. It reflects your sun light as they take your soul (sun)." White people with their "thin yellow or opaque hair" reflect the sun, and so "the sun’s energy can’t keep them charged with sol (soul).

GET READY.

snuggiepubcrawl.com
ITS COMING SOON to a city near you.

BO Lifts Ban, Promises no Cyborg-people

WASHINGTON (AP) - President Barack Obama says human cloning is "dangerous, profoundly wrong" and has no place in society.

Obama made the comments as he was signing an executive order that will allow federal spending on embryonic stem cell research.

Some critics say the research can lead to human cloning. Obama said the government will develop strict guidelines for the research because misuse or abuse is unacceptable.

He said he would ensure that the government never opens the door to the use of cloning for human reproduction.

i love this guy.

from sexypeople-blog.com

Famed pastor predicts imminent catastrophe

World Net Daily - A respected pastor, best-selling author and founder of a major ministry to teens predicts an imminent "earth-shattering calamity" centered in New York City that will spread to major urban areas across the country and around the world – part of what he sees as a judgment from God.

David Wilkerson took to his blog this weekend because he is "compelled by the Holy Spirit to send out an urgent message" about his prediction.

"An earth-shattering calamity is about to happen," he writes. "It is going to be so frightening, we are all going to tremble – even the godliest among us."

Wilkerson's vision is of fires raging through New York City.

"It will engulf the whole megaplex, including areas of New Jersey and Connecticut. Major cities all across America will experience riots and blazing fires – such as we saw in Watts, Los Angeles, years ago," he explains. "There will be riots and fires in cities worldwide. There will be looting – including Times Square. What we are experiencing now is not a recession, not even a depression. We are under God’s wrath. In Psalm 11 it is written, "If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?"

In this age of evil, be a champion for God and stand up for the absolute truth of Scripture, not the misconceptions you've been led to believe. Get "Shocked by the Bible: The Most Astonishing Facts You've Never Been Told" personally autographed!

"God is judging the raging sins of America and the nations," claims Wilkerson. "He is destroying the secular foundations." Wilkerson urges everyone to stockpile a 30-day supply of food and other necessities to deal with the catastrophe he foresees.

"I do not know when these things will come to pass, but I know it is not far off," Wilkerson concluded in his message. "I have unburdened my soul to you. Do with the message as you choose."

Mexican cartels plague Atlanta

By Larry Copeland and Kevin Johnson, USA TODAY
ATLANTA — In a city where Coca Cola, United Parcel Service and Home Depot are the titans of industry, there are new powerful forces on the block: Mexican drug cartels.

Their presence and ruthless tactics are largely unknown to most here. Yet, of the 195 U.S. cities where Mexican drug-trafficking organizations are operating, federal law enforcement officials say Atlanta has emerged as the new gateway to the troubled Southwest border.

Rival drug cartels have established Atlanta as the principal distribution center for the entire eastern U.S., according to the Justice Department's National Drug Intelligence Center.

In fiscal year 2008, federal drug authorities seized more drug-related cash in Atlanta — about $70 million — than any other region in the country, Drug Enforcement Administration records show.

"The same folks who are rolling heads in the streets of Ciudad Juárez" — El Paso's Mexican neighbor — "are operating in Atlanta. Here, they are just better behaved," says Jack Killorin, who heads the Office of National Drug Control Policy's federal task force in Atlanta.

The same regional features that appeal to legitimate corporate operations — access to transportation systems and proximity to major U.S. cities — have lured the cartels, Atlanta U.S. Attorney David Nahmias says.

An added attraction for the cartels, say Nahmias and Rodney Benson, the DEA's Atlanta chief, is the explosive growth of the Hispanic community.
Nahmias calls northeast suburban Gwinnett County, about 30 miles northeast of Atlanta, the "epicenter" of the region's drug activity.

Gwinnett's Hispanic population surged from 8,470 in 1990 to 64,137 in 2000, according to the Pew Hispanic Center. Now, 17% of the county's 776,000 people are Hispanic.

"You see Mexican drug-trafficking operations deploying representatives to hide within these communities in plain sight," Benson says. "They were attempting to blend into the same communities as those who were hard-working, law-abiding people."

The cartel representatives here range from the drivers, packagers and money counters to senior figures in the drug trade.

Clean Toilets? Just need water.

FOX- It cleans. It disinfects. It cures athlete's foot. You can even drink it — well, a little.

What is it? According to a recent article in the Los Angeles Times, it's ionized salt water.

"I didn't believe in it at first because it didn't have foam or any scent," a housekeeper at the Sheraton Delfina hotel in Santa Monica, Calif., told the Times. "But I can tell you it works. My rooms are clean."

The chemistry is simple. Electrolysis of water containing a little sodium chloride, or table salt, produces two compounds in different chambers — sodium hydroxide, or lye, which is a strong base or alkaline solution, and hypochlorous acid, which is a weak acid.

The former is an effective degreaser, great for washing windows and floors. The latter is a simple but powerful sanitizer, good on floors, fruit and even feet.

"It's green. It saves money. And it's the right thing to do," a hotel official told the Times. "It's almost like fantasy."

Swiss Gigolo Admits to Blackmail

44-year-old Helg Sgarbi wined and dined a string of rich wives and widows, including Germany's wealthiest woman Mrs Klatten, winning their confidence and then asking for money.

If they refused, he threatened to blackmail them with secretly filmed footage of their encounters in hotel rooms around Europe.

His lawyer told a court in Munich that the long list of charges against his client "are, at their core, true."

Sgarbi's most high profile victim was BMW heiress Mrs Klatten, a married mother of three who he seduced and swindled out of £6.2 million.

His guilty plea may spare her the embarrassment of having to give evidence at the much-anticipated trial, which promised to become a sensation in Germany.

Sgarbi, who was nicknamed 'James Bond' by some of his conquests for his good looks and smooth-talking charm, is also accused of conning three other women out of £2.2 million. He is a former investment banker.

"I regret what I did," Sgarbi, 44, told the Munich court, with little emotion. "I apologise to the women involved."

Modern-Day Oregon Trail Tragedy

TUL- Shuqualak, Miss. – Bob Skelding, who last August left his Deerfield, NH home to take a cross-country trip in a homemade wagon pulled by his four Percheron horses, was seriously injured yesteday morning when he was rear-ended by an 18-wheel tanker truck.

Skelding, 49, suffered a head injury and late Tuesday night was in critical condition at Rush Foundation Hospital in Meridian, Miss., according to his former wife, Suzanne. She said their children, Daniel, 23, and Lisa, 22, are heading to Mississippi to be with their dad.

Two of his horses -- Deedee and Dolly -- were killed in the 11:32 a.m. wreck on U.S. Highway 45 in Shuqualak, a rural town in eastern Mississippi. The driver of the rig was not hurt.

S/Sgt. Michael Cain of the Mississippi Highway Patrol said medical personnel told investigators Skelding did not suffer life-threatening injuries.

The crash shut down the highway for about 1 1/2 hours.
"There isn't one piece of that wagon that is usable," said Cain of the wreck in which Skelding's horse-drawn wagon was demolished.

The driver of the 18-wheeler, which was traveling with another tanker, apparently did not realize the horse-drawn wagon ahead of him was traveling at an extremely slow speed, according to Cain. The wagon was heading south in a travel lane of the four-lane, divided highway which, the highway patrol officer said is not illegal in Mississippi.

The trucker, "for whatever reason did not realize he was going extremely slow and hit him in the rear," Cain said. The posted speed on the highway is 65 mph.

Skelding had traveled 1,747 miles through nine states in his horse-drawn wagon when the tragic crash happened.

16 arrested in fight at nonviolence concert

SILVER SPRING, Md. (AP) - Montgomery County police say 16 people were arrested after a fight broke out during a concert held to promote nonviolence and to remember a Silver Spring teen killed last year.

The free Stop the Violence youth concert was held Saturday night on Ellsworth Street in downtown Silver Spring in memory of 14-year-old Montgomery Blair High School student Tai Lam, who was shot to death in November.

Police say fighting broke out near the stage toward the end of the concert and at least one person resisted arrest. Police say 16 adults and juveniles were arrested for offenses such as assault and disorderly conduct.

Things that are real

Someone owns the domain god.com

Take that Bullet! The Lord is on MY Side. Oh, Wait

MARYVILLE, Ill. (AP) - A pastor shot and killed during his Sunday sermon deflected the first of the gunman's four rounds with a Bible, sending a confetti-like spray of paper into the air in a horrifying scene that congregants initially thought was a skit, police said.

The gunman strode down the aisle of the sprawling First Baptist Church shortly after 8 a.m. and briefly spoke with The Rev. Fred Winters, then pulled out a .45-caliber semiautomatic pistol and began firing until it jammed, Illinois State Police Director Larry Trent said. Churchgoers wrestled the gunman to the ground as he waved a knife, slashing himself and two other people, Trent said.

None of the about 150 congregants seemed to recognize the gunman and investigators do not know details of Winters' conversation with him, but they planned to review an audio recording of the service, Trent said. The service was not videotaped.

"We don't know the relationship (between the gunman and pastor), why he's here or what the circumstances came about that caused him in the first place to be here," said Illinois State Police Master Trooper Ralph Timmins.

First Baptist had an average attendance of 32 people when Winters became senior pastor in 1987; it now has about 1,200 members, according to the church's Web site. Winters also was former president of the Illinois Baptist State Association and an adjunct professor for Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, according to the site.

Obama auto task force members to drive GM's Volt

DETROIT (AP) — Members of Obama's autos task force will test drive the Chevrolet Volt rechargeable electric car when they visit the Detroit area on Monday, an administration official said Sunday.

GM and Chrysler are living on $17.4 billion in government loans approved by the Bush administration last year, and they have asked for a total of $39 billion. Obama appointed the task force to review the automakers' viability plans and decide if they should get additional aid.

GM is working on advanced lithium-ion battery packs for the Volt, which the company has promised will be able to go 40 miles on a single charge from a home outlet. After that, a 1.4-liter internal-combustion engine will kick in to generate electricity to extend the car's range.

Struggling GM has promised to have the car in showrooms late next year.

Canadian Municipalites seek to Ban Bottled Water

The Federation of Canadian Municipalities has asked Canadian cities and towns to phase out the sale and purchase of bottled water on municipal property.

The move carries no legal weight and aims simply to encourage municipalities to speak out against bottled water and avoid distributing it when possible.

"It's not a ban, we just try to educate our citizens that the water that you pay for in your city is good — use it," said FCM president Jean Perrault, the mayor of Sherbrooke, Que.

It takes a lot of energy to produce the bottles themselves, Perrault said, and despite being recyclable about half of the bottles sold end up in landfills — at a direct cost to local governments.

But there's also the personal expense, he said.

"Buying a bottle of water costs approximately $2.50. The cost to produce water in the city? I can fill up 6,000 little bottles for the price of $2.50," Perrault said.

Twenty-seven Canadian municipalities have already phased out the sale of bottled water on their properties.

Pam McConnell, a Toronto city councillor, described what goes on at Toronto City Hall. "You'd see glasses on the tables, you'd see jugs of water from the tap, you'd see people happily drinking them at their desks and committee meetings," McConnell said.

Scientists meet to dispute global warming theory

NEW YORK CITY - The A-list of manmade climate-change skeptics is meeting in New York City for the 2009 International Conference on Climate Change.

The Conference is definitely international in scope. Opening the conference is Vaclav Klaus, president of the Czech Republic and the European Union. When it comes to manmade global warming, Klaus calls that a myth. He is also an outspoken critic of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, and says the panel is one-sided and has a political agenda.

Featured at the conference will be more than 70 scientists who do not subscribe to the notion that so-called global warming is driven by manmade emissions of carbon dioxide, one of those being Harrison "Jack" Schmitt -- one of the last astronauts to walk on the moon.

The Conference is being hosted by The Heartland Institute. Dan Miller is the director of public relations at Heartland.

"What we are trying to accomplish with this conference is to present to the politicians and to the public that the debate is not over about global warming or climate change; that there is plenty of room for disagreement; and that sound science shows that the earth is not warming," says Miller.

"For much of the latter part of the 20th century there's been a mild warming as we come out of an ice age -- but the planet today is much cooler than it was a thousand years ago."

Besides the 70+ scientists at this conference, more than 650 scientists worldwide have expressed skepticism over manmade climate change.

Canadian Municipalites seek to Ban(?) Bottled Water

The Federation of Canadian Municipalities has asked Canadian cities and towns to phase out the sale and purchase of bottled water on municipal property.

The move carries no legal weight and aims simply to encourage municipalities to speak out against bottled water and avoid distributing it when possible.

"It's not a ban, we just try to educate our citizens that the water that you pay for in your city is good — use it," said FCM president Jean Perrault, the mayor of Sherbrooke, Que.

It takes a lot of energy to produce the bottles themselves, Perrault said, and despite being recyclable about half of the bottles sold end up in landfills — at a direct cost to local governments.

But there's also the personal expense, he said.

"Buying a bottle of water costs approximately $2.50. The cost to produce water in the city? I can fill up 6,000 little bottles for the price of $2.50," Perrault said.

Twenty-seven Canadian municipalities have already phased out the sale of bottled water on their properties.

Pam McConnell, a Toronto city councillor, described what goes on at Toronto City Hall. "You'd see glasses on the tables, you'd see jugs of water from the tap, you'd see people happily drinking them at their desks and committee meetings," McConnell said.

Naked KFC...a Recap.

Because I referenced the story, but never posted the original.

Saturday, February 28, 2009 - TUL- MANCHESTER - Three KFC workers were hoaxed by a cruel prank caller into spraying themselves with a fire extinguisher, stripping naked and then going outside.

Cook Mary McCarthy said the Daniel Webster Highway store manager, Sonia Gilbert, received a phone call Thursday from someone claiming to be from the corporate office, telling her to test the fire suppression system.

Gilbert complied, and McCarthy said that resulted in the release of a chemical powder in the sandwich area where she and a third employee, Fay Owens, were working.

The caller then told the women to strip and go outside, because they had been contaminated. That’s when police got involved.

Police Sgt. Todd Boucher said officers went to the restaurant in response to a call about a naked woman standing in a doorway.
Boucher said the caller had told the employees to go outside and strip and urinate on one another.

As fire, health department and police investigated the incident, McCarthy stood outside the side door of the restaurant, wearing one jacket and using another as a skirt.
Standing next to a pile of clothing on the ground, McCarthy said: “We had to strip out here.”

The KFC workers were sent to a local hospital. District Fire Chief Michael Gamache said because the chemical powder is a respiratory irritant, employees needed to be checked and the restaurant needed to be cleaned and cleared to reopen by the City Health Department.

Manchester KFC BURNED again.

MANCHESTER – A man was burned last night when he fell into a deep-fryer unit at a fried chicken restaurant, officials said.

The incident happened at the Kentucky Fried Chicken branch at 677 Daniel Webster Highway, officials said. The same KFC that got a prank call ending in employees naked outside. Being told to pee on each other.

District Fire Chief Al Poulin said the 20-year-old man, whose identity wasn't available, had been cleaning an exhaust hood over the fryer.
"He slipped and fell, and he fell down into the Friolator," Poulin said.

The man suffered burns to both arms, his face and his chest, Poulin said. The severity of the burns was not known, he said. The man was taken to a local hospital for treatment.

Possible AIDS cure?

WSJ - An American man underwent fairly normal bone marrow surgery to treat lukemia, and had shocking results.
The patient, a 42-year-old ex-pat living in Berlin, is still recovering from his leukemia therapy, but he appears to have won his battle with AIDS. Doctors have not been able to detect the virus in his blood for more than 600 days, despite his having ceased all conventional AIDS medication. Normally when a patient stops taking AIDS drugs, the virus stampedes through the body within weeks, or days.

"I was very surprised," said the doctor, Gero Hütter.

The breakthrough appears to be that Dr. Hütter, a soft-spoken hematologist who isn't an AIDS specialist, deliberately replaced the patient's bone marrow cells with those from a donor who has a naturally occurring genetic mutation that renders his cells immune to almost all strains of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.

The development suggests a potential new therapeutic avenue and comes as the search for a cure has adopted new urgency. Many fear that current AIDS drugs aren't sustainable. Known as antiretrovirals, the medications prevent the virus from replicating but must be taken every day for life and are expensive for poor countries where the disease runs rampant. Last year, AIDS killed two million people; 2.7 million more contracted the virus, so treatment costs will keep ballooning.

The mutation, found in many gay men, prevents a molecule called CCR5 from appearing on the surface of cells. CCR5 acts as a kind of door for the virus. Since most HIV strains must bind to CCR5 to enter cells, the mutation bars the virus from entering. A new AIDS drug, Selzentry, made by Pfizer Inc., doesn't attack HIV itself but works by blocking CCR5.

weblinxors.

refound this site, good for a chuckle.
http://ismccainpresident.com/

New Abortion Legislation Could Close Catholic Hospitals.

Obama has promised to re-file the 2004 Freedom of Choice Act, promising major changes in the US abortion landscape.

The bill failed to get out of subcommittee in 2004, but sponsor Jerrold Nadler (D-NY) is planning on re-filing now that co-sponsor is President.

A spokesman for Rep. Nadler, said the legislation "is among the congressman's priorities. We expect to reintroduce it sooner rather than later."
The bill aims to make Roe vs. Wade's rulings legally binding.

The legislation has some Roman Catholic bishops threatening to shutter the country's 624 Catholic hospitals — rather than comply.

Bishop Thomas Paprocki, a Chicago auxiliary bishop, said, "It would not be sufficient to withdraw our sponsorship or to sell them to someone who would perform abortions," he said. "That would be a morally unacceptable cooperation in evil."

Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA), is expected to introduce FOCA in the U.S. Senate.

In its last incarnation, FOCA defined abortion as a "fundamental right" that no government can "deny" or "interfere with." That language, FOCA's opponents warn, would help overturn abortion restrictions such as parental notification, laws banning certain procedures and constraints on federal funding.

Man trapped by sofa sipped whiskey

BBC- Joe Galliot, 61, fondly remembers his time being trapped under his sofa for two days. He survived by sipping at a bottle of whisky.

During a power outage he lost his bearings and fell against his sofa. It, in turn, fell on to him. Because of back problems, he was unable to lift the sofa of his fat body.
266 pounds fat. Thankfully, there was a bottle of whiskey within arms reach.

"I took a sip of and thought, well this isn't too bad."

Mr Galliott said he was keeping another bottle of whiskey by the sofa "just in case."

Contact Cameras.

BRUSSELS, March 5 (Reuters) - A Canadian filmmaker plans to have a mini camera installed in his prosthetic eye to make documentaries and raise awareness about surveillance in society.

Rob Spence, 36, who lost an eye in an accident as a teenager, said his so-called Project Eyeborg is to have the camera, a battery and a wireless transmitter mounted on a tiny circuit board. www.eyeborgblog.com/

"Originally the whole idea was to do a documentary about surveillance. I thought I would become a sort of super hero ... fighting for justice against surveillance," Spence said.

"In Toronto there are 12,000 cameras. But the strange thing I discovered was that people don't care about the surveillance cameras, they were more concerned about me and my secret camera eye because they feel that is a worse invasion of their privacy."

can you curse a dead body?

Laurens County (The Greenville News) - Tammy Fausel said that she and her family were shocked at what happened during her uncle's funeral in Gray Court.

A Candler, N.C., woman danced in front of the service, waved a wand around the casket, opened the lid, laid her hands on the deceased's head and struck the body with a wand, according to an incident report from the Laurens County Sheriff's Office.

Nicole Marie Loretta Leonard, 25, has been charged with disturbing a funeral and public disorderly conduct in Tuesday's incident, according to tickets.

Fausel said she had never before seen the woman and had no idea why she would've been at funeral at Church of God on State 14.

"Everybody was just kind of flabbergasted," she said. "They didn't know what was going on."

The woman took flowers from the top of the casket and threw them at the family before leaving in a burgundy Toyota, according to the report.

Fausel said she called the Sheriff's Office.

A lieutenant intercepted a burgundy Toyota Corolla heading south on Interstate 385, according to the incident report.

When deputies asked the woman why she acted the way she did, the woman said "she felt that it was the right thing to do at the time," according to the report. The woman told deputies she knew no one at the church, according to the report.

Fausel said the deceased's immediate family was in another room at the time of the incident and didn't witness it.

Leonard, of 117 Davis Creek, was released from the Johnson Detention Center Wednesday, according to jail officials and tickets.

mini riot over clothedness in nudist colony.

The Courier-Mail- A tourist who refused to take his clothes off at a swinger sex party has been blamed for "a mini-riot" at a north Queensland nudist colony.

Police were called amid threats of violence and lewd behaviour and ordered the Brisbane man and his wife from the adults-only "anything goes" sex party.
Owner of the White Cockatoo resort Tony Fox said the "mini-riot" erupted when four naked female guests protested when confronted by the fully-clothed man.

"They felt uncomfortable with him eyeing them off and I asked him to show some respect and take his clothes off," said the nudist colony manager.

"He then threatened to bash me, there was some argy-bargy and I ordered him off the premises and police were called."

NOOOOOOOO!

Gupta opts out of surgeon general consideration

Brits poop their white britches over this belgian shake-up

New academic research claims cricket is not English, but was imported by immigrants from northern Belgium.

A poem thought to have been written in 1533 has been uncovered, which suggests the game originates from Flanders.

In the work attributed to John Skelton, Flemish weavers are labelled "kings of crekettes", according to Paul Campbell of the Australian National University.

The discovery challenges the long established theory that the sport evolved from English children's games.

The first definitive references to the game appeared in England in the 1600s, when fines were handed out for those missing church to play.

THE IMAGE OF IPOCRISIE
O lodre of Ipocrites,
Nowe shut vpp your wickettes,
And clappe to your clickettes!
A! Farewell, kings of crekettes!

Poem attributed to John Skelton

Obamas get My FAVE doggie!

US First Lady Michelle Obama wants to find a rescued Portuguese water dog as a pet for her daughters, People magazine has reported.
Sasha, 7, and Malia, 10, were promised a puppy by their father, Barack Obama, when he was elected president, as a reward for all they had coped with.

Mrs Obama told the magazine the family were hoping to get the puppy in April.
She said water dogs were temperamentally "pretty good".

Senator Ted Kennedy owns two of the breed - Splash and Sunny.
In January, Mr Kennedy said he was "proud to endorse the Portuguese water dog as the next First Dog of the United States".

"They have a can-do and hopeful spirit. They are smart. They are resilient. They are determined. They are optimistic. And they are tireless," he said.

Oldest Lady in Scotland Called for Jury Duty.

BBC

Marion Richardson, 108, of North Lanarkshire, was called for jury duty this week.

Her family contacted the sheriff clerk's office to see if she qualified for exemption because of her age.
They were told the age limit for jurors was actually 65.

Her grandson, David Gracie, 64, told the BBC news website: "The letter gave us a right hoot.

Her daughter's husband said: "Believe me if she had been fit for it, and allowed to, she would have gone and done her jury duty.

"She is always game for a laugh and her mind is still very active."

Psychedellic New Species

A brightly-coloured fish which bounces along the seabed has been hailed as a new species by scientists - who have dubbed it "psychedelica".

Research published in the US scientific journal Copeia says the fish was spotted by scuba divers off the island of Ambon in eastern Indonesia.

It belongs to the frogfish family, but its looks are unique even among its peers, the journal reported.

Fan creates Wembley in front room

A Manchester United fan has recreated Wembley Stadium in his front room because he failed to get tickets to see the team in the Carling Cup final.

Phil Spark's Didsbury home now has a turnstile on the door, fake turf on the floor, stadium seats, crowd pictures on the walls and a pie heater.
The 25-year-old and his friends will watch Sunday's game against Tottenham on a big screen in the mock stadium.

He said: "This is the next best thing to being there.
"I was gutted when I couldn't get a ticket for the game but I've spent the last few weeks making sure I won't miss any of the action or atmosphere," Mr Sparks, a surveyor, said.

"I may even charge my mates to come round for the best view in Didsbury."

smokin' smarties.

The best part of this is that the future crack addict is listening to that catchy little tune Love song by Sara Barreilles.

Doodling Helpful Recall Technique

BBC- Doodling may look messy, but it could in fact be a sign of an alert mind, a study suggests.

Plymouth University researchers carried out memory tests on 40 volunteers, asking them to listen to a phone call and recall names and places.

Doodlers performed 29% better than non-doodlers, the team found.

Our governemnt, the Liars.

The Central intelligence Agency has destroyed 92 tapes of interviews conducted with terror suspects, a US government lawyer has admitted.

The agency had previously said that it had destroyed only two tapes.

The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has launched a lawsuit against the CIA to seek details of the interrogations of terror suspects.
Techniques involved are understood to have included water-boarding, which the Obama administration says is torture.

The acknowledgment of the 92 destroyed tapes came in a letter sent to the judge presiding over the ACLU lawsuit.

"The CIA can now identify the number of videotapes that were destroyed," the letter by acting US Attorney Lev Dassin, obtained by the BBC, said. "Ninety-two videotapes were destroyed."

Headline of hte day

BBC:
Man breasts Moobs
Why the obsession with excessive male breasts?

UK immigration officials strike AGAIN

LONDON (Reuters) - UK Border Agency officers at Manchester Airport routinely stopped the 40-year-old chef after he arrived on a flight from Los Angeles last Friday.

The man told them he was on a short trip to see a friend who was opening a restaurant in the area.

"However, a search of the passenger's baggage revealed a huge collection of Mexican food recipes and a good-luck card from his church wishing him well for his 'new life in the UK,'" the agency said in a statement.

The man later admitted he had intended to work at the restaurant illegally and had planned to bring his family over from America if he liked it.

He was deported the next day.

"We will not tolerate people coming here to work illegally," the agency said. "People wanting to visit the UK must play by the rules. Those who do not are sent back."

Cheating on Homework Just.Got.Easier.

PARIS (Reuters) - "You can't do it? We're here to help," says the homepage of a new French website where children can pay for older students to do homework for them.

On faismesdevoirs.com (domyhomework.com), children will be able to buy answers to simple maths problems for 5 euros ($6), while a full end-of-year presentation complete with slides and speaking notes will cost 80 euros ($100).

Schoolteachers reacted with outrage.
"It is shocking. It defeats the purpose of education which is that the pupils need to learn for themselves how to do the work," said Agathe Field, a young English teacher at a secondary school in a suburb of Paris.

The founder of faismesdevoirs.com says that he is not giving children fish, but teaching them to fish. (He gives them annotated notes. "Of course some schoolchildren might use the system to cheat, but they'll have to learn sooner or later because we won't be there on exam day," he said.

That flag is made by freckin 3rd graders!

ST. GEORGE — A historian said he didn't mean to offend anybody when he said Dorchester County's flag looks like it was designed by third-graders.

Heyward Hutson, a former state representative and president of the Summerville Preservation Society, recently told council that the flag was created by third-graders, and it looks like it, and it's not historically accurate.


As it turned out, the current flag was not designed by third-graders but by teachers, friends of Jean Behling, a former teacher and longtime member of the Upper Dorchester Historical Society.

That flag is made by freckin 3rd graders!

ST. GEORGE — A historian said he didn't mean to offend anybody when he said Dorchester County's flag looks like it was designed by third-graders.

Heyward Hutson, a former state representative and president of the Summerville Preservation Society, recently told council that the flag was created by third-graders, and it looks like it, and it's not historically accurate.


As it turned out, the current flag was not designed by third-graders but by teachers, friends of Jean Behling, a former teacher and longtime member of the Upper Dorchester Historical Society.

Angry CT Chimp follow-up

NEW HAVEN, Connecticut - Hospital officials in Ohio say a Connecticut woman mauled by a chimpanzee two weeks ago lost her hands, nose, lips and eyelids and may be blind and suffering brain damage.

The Cleveland Clinic said that 55-year-old Charla Nash also lost the bone structure in her face when she was attacked on Feb. 16 in Stamford, Connecticut. If you remember, it was her friend's pet chimp, and it was shot at close range and killed by police after both ladies failed to stop the attack (with repeated stabbings, mind you).
Owner Sandra Herold of Stamford has yet to face criminal charges.

Jamiroquai's pimp mobile FUuucked up!

A Suffolk chef has admitted causing an estimated £30,000 damage to a £1m Ferrari belonging to Jamiroquai frontman Jay Kay.

Aaron Billington, 21, of Aldeburgh, admitted causing criminal damage to the Ferrari Enzo outside a hotel in the town where the singer had been staying.

Lowestoft Magistrates' Court heard Billington committed the crime in a "moment of madness" early on Tuesday.
He said he became upset by "offensive" remarks the singer made.

"He later admitted in interview to drinking a bottle of vodka and being drunk prior to the incident.

Mr Barnwell said Billington was seen "using swinging motions with his arms" as he threw stones at the car, shattering the windscreen and smashing the driver's side window.

JESUS SALT

CRESAPTOWN, Md. - You've heard of kosher salt? Now there's a Christian variety.

Retired barber Joe Godlewski says he was inspired by television chefs who repeatedly recommended kosher salt in recipes.

"I said, 'What the heck's the matter with Christian salt?'" Godlewski said, sipping a beer in the living room of his home in unincorporated Cresaptown, a western Maryland mountain community.

By next week, his trademarked Blessed Christians Salt will be available at http://www.memphi.net, the Web site of Memphis, Tenn.-based seasonings manufacturer Ingredients Corporation of America.

It's sea salt that's been blessed by an Episcopal priest.

Rabbi Sholem Fishbane, kosher administrator for the Chicago Rabbinical Council, said marketing Christian salt as an alternative to kosher salt reflects, at best, ignorance about Jewish dietary laws. He said all salt is inherently kosher because it occurs naturally and requires little or no processing.

He said coarse-grained kosher salt is named for the way in which it was traditionally used - to draw blood from freshly butchered meat, because Jewish law prohibits consuming blood. Chefs often favor kosher salt because it's crunchy and easy to pinch.

E A Poe Drunk, Poor. Just like me!

RICHMOND, Va. (AP) -- In a letter acquired by U of Virginia, Edgar Allan Poe apologizes to his publishers for drinking too much and asks them to buy an article because he's "desperately pushed for money"

The 1842 letter blames a friend for his drinking too many "juleps" and for misbehaving on a visit to New York.

"Will you be so kind enough to put the best possible interpretation upon my behaviour while in N-York?," Poe asks New York publishers J. and Henry G. Langley. "You must have conceived a queer idea of me - but the simple truth is that Wallace would insist upon the juleps, and I knew not what I was either doing or saying."

He closes the letter expressing his hopes that he'll see the Langleys again "under better auspices." The enclosed article was rejected, but published elsewhere later that year.

U.S. Says Threat of Mexican Drug Cartels Approaching 'Crisis Proportions'

Stolen Directly from FOX NEWS - Two of Mexico's deadliest drug cartels have reached a combined force of 100,000 foot soldiers, wreaking havoc across the country and threatening U.S. border states, the U.S. Defense Department told The Washington Times.

The cartels rival the Mexican army in size and have both Mexico and the U.S. in crisis mode as they deal with what they fear is a coming insurgency along the border.

"It's moving to crisis proportions," an unidentified defense official told The Times. The official also said the cartels have reached a size where they are on par with Mexico's army of 130,000.

About 7,000 people have died in the last year — more than 1,000 in January alone — at the hands of Mexico's increasingly violent drug cartels. Murders often involve beheadings or bodies dissolved in vats of acid.

The two most dangerous cartels are the Sinaloa cartel, nicknamed the "Federation" or "Golden Triangle" by law enforcement agencies, and "Los Zetas" (the Gulf Cartel). They have been growing and are reportedly discussing a truce or merger to better withstand government forces, The Times reported.

Mexico is now only behind Pakistan and Iran as a U.S. national security concern, coming in ahead of Afghanistan and Iraq, the defense official told The Times.

GREAT names for brands

News of the RAD

Daft Punk: Tron 2.0

IMDB- French electronica duo Daft Punk has been signed to write the original music score for Tron 2.0, Walt Disney's upcoming sequel to the groundbreaking 1982 animation cult hit which was scored by electronic music icon Wendy Carlos. Daft Punk's members Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo and Thomas Bangalter have been involved in various films before, but Tron 2.0 will be their first complete feature film score. The film is helmed by Joseph Kosinski and will feature Garrett Hedlund, Olivia Wilde and Beau Garrett. According to industry news reports, Tron 2.0 will play as the "next chapter" after the first film, with Wilde starring as one of the heroes trying to help fighting the Master Control Program, the evil intelligence protocol that was the nemesis in the 1982 film. The assignment of Daft Punk to score Tron 2.0 has been confirmed to Upcoming Film Scores by Walt Disney Pictures.

Rapist Scared of Prison Rape: Irony.

A Seattle man who'd admitted to raping two women at Myrtle Edwards Park was sentenced to 20 years in prison Friday.

In both attacks, Galvan-Hernandez, 26, was accused of beating and choking his victims as he forced himself on them.

Speaking in King County Superior Court, Galvan-Hernandez pleaded with Judge Julie Spector to have him executed rather than send him to prison.

In a turn characterized by Spector, without humor, as "ironic," Galvan-Hernandez begged not to be sent to prison where he believes he will be raped.

"I prefer death a thousand times over being raped," said Galvan-Hernandez.

A tiny man less than 5 feet in height, Galvan-Hernandez told the court he'd been sexually assaulted numerous times as a street youth in Mexico.

"I want to pay for the act of cowardice," he added. "I admit it, but I just don't want to be raped."

According to police, Galvan-Hernandez first attacked a then-homeless woman in the park, beating her with chunks of concrete and biting her during the rape. He escaped only to attack another woman days later.

A passer-by broke up the second attack and held Galvan-Hernandez to the ground until police arrived. That passer-by, a former soldier in the Army who asked not to be named, sat in on Friday's hearing to see Galvan-Hernandez sentenced.

"Come back to JAIL" "NO, guy."

CINCINNATI -- Some nonviolent offenders told to come back later when the jails around Cincinnati have room for them aren't returning.

The deferrals are the result of budget cuts that led to layoffs at the Hamilton County Sheriff's office and forced closure of the county's second-largest jail.

About 23 of the 90 people told to check in with jailers in Cincinnati over the past month to see if they could start their sentences didn't call in. SHOCK!

Sheriff's officials said there will be no concentrated effort to find them because there aren't enough officers.

Dead birds left at Salem pet store

SALEM (TUL)– Police are looking for suspects in an animal cruelty case after a Petco employee found at least seven dead birds inside of a trash bag placed in front of the store sometime Friday afternoon.

The birds -- which authorities have identified as possibly geese or ducks -- were placed in individual plastic freezer bags stored inside of the trash bag and found in a shopping cart at about 3:15 p.m., police said.

The cause of death has yet to be determined, according to authorities. Police have no surveillance video of the scene of the crime nor suspects in the case at this time. An active investigation is being conducted by the Salem police department and animal control officer.

What does a Hobo need with Batteries?

MANCHESTER – A homeless man was arrested for shoplifting rechargable batteries at a Home Depot store, police said.

Thaddeus Dejong, 41, was charged with robbery and a parole violation. He also has two outstanding warrants for theft and driving while being an habitual offender, authorities said.

Store security detained Dejong around 11:30 a.m. yesterday after he allegedly attempted to shoplift six 18-volt rechargeable batteries, valued at $537.70 total, police said.

Dejong was being held for police when he tried to break free, knocking over an assistant store manager and a store security officer, police said.
Security personnel grabbed and held him until police arrived.

Teen accidentally shoots self inside NH Wal-Mart

ROCHESTER – A 17-year-old accidentally shot himself in the abdomen last night during a confrontation between two groups of young men inside Wal-Mart, according to authorities.

Assistant Strafford County attorney Dorothy Walch, during the arraignment of Steven Miller, 18, of East Rochester, said the incident began with an argument between two groups of individuals inside the store and involved at least two guns.

The wounded teen, identified as Levi Downs in court documents, accidentally shot himself in the abdomen, Walch said. He remains hospitalized at Frisbie Memorial Hospital.

At least one company stays AMERICAN MADE

Eagle Trib- HAVERHILL — Across the nation businesses have been closing their doors, letting employees go and moving operations overseas.

Locally, one maker of fine men's suits is bucking the trend by staying here and investing millions of dollars in new equipment that the company hopes will make it competitive in a global market.

Yesterday, Southwick Clothing, which has been supplying suits to Brooks Brothers since 1948, opened the doors of its new manufacturing plant in Haverhill.

"Last July we were pretty much out of business. Our former owner was running out of funds," Southwick's Chief Operating Officer Joe Antista told city officials yesterday while taking them on a tour of his company's new facility, which moved to Haverhill from Lawrence.

Under new ownership, the Southwick company allowed its 300 employees to keep their jobs.

In Case You Were Wondering

How To Build a Hog Roaster from all recycled materials!

The Teeth are Free.

FALMOUTH, Mass. – A customer shopping at a Wal-Mart got a little surprise in his new money receptacle: human teeth. Police say the man found 10 human teeth Saturday when he unzipped a compartment in the wallet. One tooth had a filling.

The customer turned the wallet and the teeth over to employees at the Falmouth store but left without giving his name.

Police investigating the incident told The Cape Cod Times that the teeth belong to an adult, but since there was no blood or gum tissue on the teeth, they would be unable to perform DNA tests.

Walmar believes it was an "isolated incident," but will investigate.

OMG, NFW, Text FAIL

ROME (AP) - Roman Catholic bishops in Italy are urging the faithful to go on a high-tech fast for Lent, switching off modern appliances from cars to iPods and abstaining from surfing the Web or text messaging until Easter.

The suggestion goes far beyond no-meat Fridays, giving a modern twist to traditional forms of abstinence in the five-week period Christians set aside for fasting and prayer ahead of Easter.

Dioceses and Catholic groups in Modena, southern Bari and other cities have called for a ban on text messaging every Friday in Lent, which began last week with Ash Wednesday.

"It's a small way to remember the importance of concrete and not virtual relationships," the Modena diocese said in a statement. "It's an instrument to remind us that our actions and lifestyles have consequences in distant countries."

The Turin diocese is suggesting the faithful not watch television during Lent. In the northeastern city of Trento, the church has created a "new lifestyles" calendar with proposals for each week of Lent.

Some ideas: Leave cars at home and hop on a bike or a bus; stop throwing chewing gum on the street and start recycling waste; enjoy the silence of a week without the Internet and iPods.

"Armed Guard" robs church.

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - Police in Lincoln, Neb., say a man posing as an armored car guard made off with more than $145,000 from a church.

Police Officer Katie Flood said Wednesday that a man dressed as a guard walked into the financial office of the Berean Church on Tuesday and told an employee he was there to pick up the weekly deposit.

The employee said the man appeared to know what he was doing, so she gave him the deposit of more than $145,000 in cash and checks.

The real armored car and driver arrived about 15 minutes later and church employees realized they had been robbed.

The nondenominational Berean Church has more than 7,000 members and 20 pastors.

Phish pulls a U2

RICHMOND, Va. (AP) - The rock band Phish is asking a federal judge to block the sale of bootleg merchandise at its upcoming reunion concerts in Hampton, Va.

A hearing is scheduled for Thursday in Newport News on the band's request for an injunction that would bar the sale of unauthorized T-shirts, posters and other items bearing the Phish name.

The band, which broke up in 2004, is starting a reunion tour Friday with the first of three concerts at Hampton Coliseum.

Phish says in court papers that it's had trouble with bootleggers in the past. The band wants police to seize any unlicensed Phish merchandise being sold near the coliseum. Phish also is seeking unspecified damages against the unidentified defendants.

Snow Rage.

Willi Almonte-Rodriguez, 19, was charged with second-degree assault after he and his 17-year-old brother allegedly their father after he asked them for help shoveling snow on March 2.

"They sort of refused to shovel the snow then at one point the 19-year-old struck the father in the back of the head with the shovel, knocking him to the ground. Then the 17-year-old hit him in the back with his own shovel," said Lt. Sean Cooney of the Stamford Police.

"Anybody who hits their father over the head with a shovel, I can't believe it. He should be helping his father," Kolar said.

Police say Almonte and his brother had only recently moved to snowy Stamford. Until about a month ago they lived with family members in the sunny Dominican Republic.

Mexico gets nasty on Drug Lords

Nearly 2,000 Mexican soldiers and armed federal police poured into the border town of Ciudad Juarez last weekend.

The city - just across from El Paso in Texas - has been ravaged by drug gangs. Just this month 250 people were killed there by hitmen fighting for lucrative smuggling routes.

Between federal police and Mexican Army soldiers up to 2,000 law enforcement officers swarmed the streets of Juarez over the weekend to join the 2,500 already there - and there are more to come - The soldiers are the first contingent of as many as 5,000 troops and federal police being sent to Juarez.

Mexico has deployed some 45,000 troops across the country to try to crush drug gangs, but clashes between rival cartels and security forces killed around 6,000 people last year.
Juarez is a city of 1.6 million.

vid of the day

Nana may get AIDS

GENEVA (Reuters) - Doctors are failing to diagnose HIV in older patients, who are exposed to greater risk of infection as erectile dysfunction drugs extend their sex lives, a study published by the World Health Organization said on Tuesday.

Increasing numbers of sexually active people aged 50 and upwards -- who are more likely to risk unprotected sex than younger people -- are contracting the AIDS virus.

"HIV prevalence and incidence in the over-50-year-olds seem surprisingly high and the risk factors are totally unexplored," the authors from the WHO and Minnesota's St. Olaf College said.

Patients over the age of 50 make up roughly 8 percent of new HIV diagnoses in Europe and 11 percent in the United States, where rising numbers of older people are infected with the virus that spreads through sex, transfusions, and needle-sharing.

"These individuals have a shorter time from diagnosis to the onset of AIDS, reflecting both age-related faster progression to AIDS and doctors' failure to consider HIV as a diagnosis," the report said.

Hey God, I'm upset about a few things...

AMSTERDAM (Reuters Life!) - God is taking calls.

Dutch artist Johan van der Dong has set up a local telephone number in the Netherlands, where he urges people to leave messages for God on his answering machine.

Van der Dong said he set up the number to give people an opportunity to take pause and contemplate life.

"Like praying, leaving a voicemail message is a way to organize your thoughts," he said. "It's a perfect combination for some contemplation."

Callers dialing 06-4424-4901 (or +316-4424-4901 if calling from outside the Netherlands) from March 7 will hear.

"Hi, you are speaking to God. I'm not in right now so leave a message after the beep."

Too many old people means smaller presents

TOKYO (Reuters) - Japan now has so many people over 100 that it is cutting costs by reducing the size of silver cups it presents to those who reach that age.

Last year 19,769 people reached triple figures in the world's most rapidly aging country, compared with only 153 in 1963, the year when the cups were first presented.

The cups are presented on September 15, a holiday designated Respect for the Aged Day, to people who have turned 100 in the past year. The cost varies with the price of silver, but the Yomiuri newspaper said it was about 7,000-8,000 yen ($72-82) apiece, including a wooden presentation box.

forgiveable theft?

TOKYO (Reuters) - A Japanese man whose home was found packed with Buddhist statues told police he had stolen some from temples in the ancient capital of Kyoto so he could pray to them, domestic media said Tuesday.

Police found 21 statues of Buddha in the 59-year-old's house after he was arrested on suspicion of stealing a wooden Buddha figure from a temple in Kyoto.

"I stole this because of my devotions," a Kyoto police spokesman quoted Itsuo Abe as saying of the 70 cm, early 17th century statue, which belonged to Kenninji, a Zen temple founded in 1202.

"I like Buddha statues. I took it home and prayed to it every day."

Police found the Buddha statues crowding a room in Abe's house, with apples and bananas placed in front of them as offerings, the Kyoto police spokesman said.

headline of hte day

Microsoft boss Bill Gates bans his children from using Apple products... but his wife admits she'd like an iPhone

I am the Walrus, Esq.

LONDON (Reuters) - A university in Liverpool has launched a Master of Arts degree in The Beatles.

Liverpool Hope University says on its website that the course entitled "The Beatles, Popular Music and Society" consists of four 12-week taught modules and a dissertation.

"There have been over 8,000 books about The Beatles but there has never been serious academic study and that is what we are going to address," said Mike Brocken, senior lecturer in popular music at Hope.

"Forty years on from their break-up, now is the right time and Liverpool is the right place to study The Beatles.

The university said it was the first postgraduate taught course on The Beatles in the United Kingdom, and possibly the world.

The Fab Four were born and raised in Liverpool and went on to become arguably the most successful pop band of all time.

Gambling starts Young.

TORONTO (Reuters) - Children rated as impulsive by their kindergarten teachers appear more likely to begin gambling behaviors like playing cards or placing bets before they hit middle school, Canadian researchers said on Monday.

"The question has always been, 'What comes before adolescent gambling?'" Pagani said in a telephone interview. Turns out, its pre-school gambling.

After controlling for factors like family composition, parents' education and household income, the researchers found an increase of one unit on the impulsivity scale in kindergarten corresponded to a 25 percent increase in gambling involvement by the sixth grade.

Internet better than Sex.

HANOVER (Reuters) - German twenty-somethings would ditch their spouses and do without a car in a heartbeat if they had to choose between having them or Internet access or a mobile phone, according to an industry study.

In a survey by German broadband association Bitkom around 84 percent of respondents aged 19-29 said they would rather do without their current partner or an automobile than forego their connection to the Web.

only whites. white trash included.

NIAGARA FALLS—Two days after a man was sentenced to probation and community service for putting up a sign as a “joke” in a public works garage that said “whites only” on a drinking fountain, city police were called to a home in the 600 block of 25th Street on Sunday to investigate another racially charged sign.

This one was clearly no joke.
“I rent three bedrooms [at her address to] white people Niagara Falls.”

The 53-year-old woman told police she put up the sign after someone tried to break into her house and added, “I can do what I want. I live in America,” according to a police report.

we almost all 'sploded

American Free Press- An asteroid of a similar size to a rock that exploded above Siberia in 1908 with the force of a thousand atomic bombs whizzed close past Earth on Monday, astronomers said on Tuesday.

2009 DD45, estimated to be between 21 and 47 meters (68 and 152 feet) across, raced by at 1344 GMT on Monday, the Planetary Society and astronomers' blogs reported.

The gap was just 72,000 kilometers (44,750 miles), or a fifth of the distance between Earth and the Moon and only twice the height of satellites in geosynchronous orbit, the website space.com said.

The estimated size is similar to that of an asteroid or comet that exploded above Tunguska, Siberia, on June 30 1908, flattening 80 million trees in a swathe of more than 2,000 square kilometres (800 square miles).

bitch gets angry: YOU AINT GOT NO NUGGETS?!?

FORT PIERCE, FL--Latreasa L. Goodman, 27, did what any woman would do when told McD's ran out of nuggs - she called the police. 3 Times.

"This is an emergency, If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one,” she told police. “This is an emergency."

She is being charged with misuse of 911, according to a recently released police report.

Goodman told investigators she tried to get a refund for the 10-piece McNuggets, but the cashier told her all sales are final. "I called 911 because I couldn't get a refund, and I wanted my McNuggets," Goodman told police.

The cashier told police she offered Goodman a larger portion of food for the same price to make up for it, but said Goodman got “irate,” the report states.

chill out, brah

OMAHA, Neb. - A man who tried to cool out his hyper cat by stuffing her into a boxlike homemade bong faces cruelty charges — and catcalls from animal lovers.

Lancaster County sheriff's deputies responding to a domestic disturbance call Sunday alleged they saw 20-year-old Acea Schomaker smoking marijuana through a piece of garden hose attached to a duct-taped, plastic glass box in which the cat had been stuffed.

"This cat was just dazed," Sgt. Andy Stebbing said. "She was on the front seat of the cop car, wrapped in a blanket, and never moved all the way to the humane society."

ALBINO Dolphin!

A PINK DOLPHIN was spotted on a Louisiana lake.

The mammal was pictured by local charter boat captain Erik Rue, who has been studying the dolphin since it first surfaced in Lake Calcasieu, an inland saltwater estuary, north of the Gulf of Mexico in Southwestern USA.

Since it was spotted with its pod of normal coloured dolphins last year the animal has been wowing visitors on the lake.

'I just happened to see a little pod of dolphins, and I noticed one that was a little lighter. It was absolutely stunningly pink', he said.
'I had never seen anything like it. It's the same colour throughout the whole body and it looks like it just came out of a paint booth.

Social Services give Rapist as Foster Kid

A foster couple adopted an 18-year-old hoping the teen would be a big brother to their two younger children.
Instead, he raped them.

The parents now are suing the social workers that failed to tell of the teen's past sex-related crimes. In this case, he raped their 2-year-old son and molested the 9-year-old daughter.

His past cases include:
* sexually assaulting a 16-year-old girl in 2008 while she was asleep.
* accused of exposing himself and touching a young boy in a care hostel in 2005.
* fired from bowling alley after parents found he was soliciting young girls' #s.
* allegations ago of 'sexually inappropriate behaviour' with a young boy.

The foster parents, from the Vale of Glamorgan, took in the teenager as an emergency case last year because he was homeless as part of a scheme called the Adult Placement Service.

"HELP! I'm being STOLEN!" says laptop

Computers that are being stolen have just been given the upper hand: scientists have created a program to allow them to cry out for help.

The Retriever program allows users to personalize a message for the thief of their favorite product.

Messages can be set to reappear at 30-second intervals, no matter how many times the thief closes the laptop.

Retriever is made by the Front Door Software Corporation in Colorado, the company behind the software, said the software had already seen personal messages such as: 'Get your hands off me you S.O.B'.

When a thief attempts to access the internet with the stolen laptop, the Retriever package collects information on nearby wi-fi access points, which alerts the police to the missing machine's location. It costs about $40.

Ugly Animals should be put to Death.

EXETER, N.H. -- A cat aptly named Ugly [full name: Ugly Bat Boy] is attracting attention in Exeter, where clients say they can't take their eyes off his striking appearance. Ugly has also been known to make small animals cry.

He's bald save for flowing fur on his chest, and he spends his days on a warm computer at Exeter Veterinary Hospital.

The cat's striking appearance is normal, for him. He was part of a litter of four with a sister that looked just like him. That kitten died at only a few weeks old, but that was long enough for Dr. Bassett to become enamored with Bat Boy.

"The impression from clients that come in is he's not real because he just sits so still, and when he does move, he scares them, but they think he's mesmerizing," Secretary Hartnett said.


As you would with a heinously ugly human, staff say that Ugly has a lovely personality.

"Extinct" bird found, consumed.

Daily Mail - A bird believed to have been extinct for decades was captured on film in a remote mountainous area of the Philippines... before it was sold at a market for 10 pence and eaten.

Scientists believed the Worcester's buttonquail had died out years ago and the only evidence of its existence was in illustrations based on dead specimens discovered centuries ago.

However, a television crew inadvertently filmed a one of the birds while recording a documentary on traditional methods of bird trapping in the mountains of Luzon in the Philippines.

Neither the film crew or the bird trappers realised the creature was rare and after filming it was sold at a poultry market - as food.

By the time the film was spotted by a stunned ornithologist from the World Bird Club of the Philippines, the bird had already been sold, cooked and eaten.

post from my new favorite blog

fuckyoupenguin


While there are some animals that just straight don't exist, the dik-dik is very real, only you can't see it except in photos. (Proof: Show me a dik-dik on the internet that isn't in a photograph.) This photo was taken of an out of focus tree, but when it was developed, there was a dik-dik right there, smiling in its little creepy adorable way. Trust me: you do not want a dik-dik to show up in your photos. Minutes after this photo was taken, both the man and the dog were killed in a freak accident involving a water ski, two pairs of wool mittens, and a lion (it was mostly because of the lion). Dik-dik's are doomed to this kind of work because they are really just a giant rip-off of an antelope with a little bit of anime thrown in to make them look really creepy in a Disney kind of way.

The best way to get rid of a dik-dik in any photo is to tell it to get lost. Personally, I like focusing on its lack of originality, e.g. HEY DIK-DIK IF I WANTED TO GET TERRIFIED BY WEIRD LOOKING PHOTOS, I WOULD JUST WATCH THE RING OR READ THE GOOSEBUMPS BOOK SAY CHEESE AND DIE. Don't try to get rid of them by looking at various pictures of them in cute poses for hours on end, or by thinking it's ridiculously cute that they are named after the sound they make when they are alarmed, because I've tried that already, and it doesn't work.