Strange substance found in Ala. bathroom soap dispenser

MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) - The Interstate 10 welcome center in Baldwin County is closed until it gets test results on a suspicious substance found in a soap dispenser. Alabama Department of Transportation spokesman Tony Harris said Friday the department is waiting on tests as a precaution.

The center was closed Monday because of an unusual odor in the men's restroom and because the liquid soap in a dispenser in that bathroom had an unusual color.

The center's attendants saw doctors as a precaution, but Harris said no problems were found.

BUT WHAT WAS THIS DANGEROUS, FETID SUBSTANCE?

Quite possibly, I kid you not, NEW SOAP. Just 3 days before a similar incident occurred on Interstate 65.
Clinton Country rest stops were complained after workers expressed concern over a new color in the materials collected in the soap dispenser.

On-scene tests revealed the substance was a soap product, but not the normal soap used in the restroom soap dispensers. ALDOT officials are exploring whether a product labeling mistake caused the confusion.

The on-scene tests were conducted by the Alabama National Guard’s Civil Response Team based in Montgomery. Additional tests may help confirm if a product labeling mistake resulted in a different soap being used.

But back to Baldwin: Pending final test results, ALDOT officials hope to open the Baldwin County welcome center on Wednesday.

Dead People Can't Pay TV Bill.

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German mathematician who died 450 years ago has been sent a letter demanding that he pay long-overdue television license fees, residents at his former address said on Wednesday.

Germany's GEZ broadcast fee collection office sent the bill to the last home address of Adam Ries, an algebra expert who bought the house in 1525. A club in his honor was set up at the property four centuries later.

"We received a letter saying 'To Mr Adam Ries' on it, with the request to pay his television and radio fees," said Annegret Muench, who now heads the club.

Muench returned the letter to the GEZ with a note explaining the request had come too late because Ries had died in 1559, centuries before the invention of television and radio. She nonetheless received a reminder a few weeks later.

This was not the first time the GEZ had sent a bill to those in the afterlife. Last year, a school named after poet Friedrich Schiller received a reminder asking him to declare all radios and televisions in his home and pay the corresponding fees.

Teen accidentally shoots self inside NH Wal-Mart

ROCHESTER – A 17-year-old accidentally shot himself in the abdomen last night during a confrontation between two groups of young men inside Wal-Mart, according to authorities.

Assistant Strafford County attorney Dorothy Walch, during the arraignment of Steven Miller, 18, of East Rochester, said the incident began with an argument between two groups of individuals inside the store and involved at least two guns.

The wounded teen, identified as Levi Downs in court documents, accidentally shot himself in the abdomen, Walch said. He remains hospitalized at Frisbie Memorial Hospital.

Police subdue naked man after baby-choking

FITCHBURG — After a violent police struggle, a man who allegedly choked a 9-month-old baby has been arrested.

Dean J. Jones, 40, joined a female acquaintance and her young son for a birthday party. It was not long before Mr. Jones grabbed her son and ran to her waiting minivan. A friend of the woman’s got into the car with Mr. Jones and asked him to give her the baby.

“This is when Dean began to act crazy again saying that she and (the mother) was the devil and that they were going to die,” the witness told police.

The boy’s mother told Mr. Jones to give her the child, whereupon, she said, the man said her son was the devil, put his hands around the child’s neck and squeezed. She tried to grab her son but Mr. Jones punched her in the head, according to police reports.

Police were called, and they found signs of struggle at the scene, though Jones was gone. Minutes later, however, police received a call about a naked man walking a few blocks over.

Officer Steven Hachey was the first on the scene and approached the naked pedestrian, later identified as Mr. Jones. He opened the passenger side window of his cruiser to speak with Mr. Jones, who allegedly grabbed the glass and shattered it before trying to enter the vehicle.

Officer Hachey backed up his cruiser and was chased by Mr. Jones, who pounded on the vehicle’s hood, Capt. Kearns said.

The officer eventually got out of his cruiser and Mr. Jones climbed in, but was unable to move it because Officer Hachey had removed the keys, Capt. Kearns said.

Police fired several pepper balls at Mr. Jones, striking him in the chest. The impact had no effect on him, police said. Mr. Jones was subdued by baton strikes and his legs were taped to contain his flailing limbs, according to police reports.

Mr. Jones referred to himself as Jesus Christ during the confrontation, police reports indicate.

Capt. Kearns said the child did not appear to have suffered any serious injuries.

He commended the work of the officers who responded to the incident.

“This guy was clearly out of control,” he said. “A lot of things could have gone wrong with that. Instead, he was taken into custody without a lot of associated injuries.”

Mr. Jones was arraigned on charges of assault and battery on a child causing injury, disorderly conduct, malicious destruction of property over $250, resisting arrest and assault and battery.

He was ordered to return to court March 12 for a pretrial hearing.

Cave Man Faces Foreclosure

Curt Sleeper and his family sold their home and moved into a cave to save some dough. Unfortunately, they had a mortgage on their just-out-of-St. Louis cave.
Now, because he is unable to re-finance, Sleeper will be putting his 17,000 square foot cave up for sale on Ebay.
They purchasesd the cave from its owner in 2004 for $170,000.

Man stabs son in left buttock after he refused to take off his hat in church

BALTIMORE (AP) — Police said a 58-year-old man stabbed his teenage son after he refused to take off his hat at church earlier in the day. The father and his 19-year-old son got into an argument on Sunday afternoon. That's when police said the father went to a car, got a knife and stabbed his son in the left buttock and fled.

The son was taken to University of Maryland Medical Center for treatment. The father's name was withheld pending his arrest.

I Think We're Dying!

Campus Cop lifts pastries. Every day.

State police say an upstate New York college campus policeman was helping himself to free pastries at a local convenience store.

The Valero Nice N Easy offers free coffee to any police officer in uniform.

Sgt. Steve Brody of the Morrisville State College University Police stopped daily to buy a newspaper and pick up a free cup of coffee. He also routinely stuffed a pastry into his coat.
Brody is now accused of taking about $30 worth of pastries over at least 17 separate occasions.

Brody, 55, of Morrisville, was ticketed for petit larceny. Troopers say they have surveillance videos.

Suspected drunken driver sat in car after trooper was hit

As State Trooper Dana Cresta lay bleeding from the head on the Mass Turnpike in Newton, the alleged drunken driver who had just struck him sat in his car for about 15 minutes and fretted about the situation, according to court records.

"I asked him if he got out of his car at all,'' Trooper Mark Augusta wrote in his arrest report. "Sullivan stated, 'No, why do that?' I asked him if he could see the trooper bleeding out in front of him, and he said yes.''

Patrick Sullivan, 23, was arraigned in Newton District Court on charges of operating under the influence, speeding to endanger, and driving in a breakdown lane. His lawyer, Daniel F. Campion, entered a plea of not guilty on Sullivan's behalf. Both men declined to comment outside the courthouse yesterday.

Cresta, 49, was airlifted to Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center and listed in serious condition with facial injuries

"I did not see any yellow lights or blue lights or traffic lights,'' Sullivan wrote. "The next thing I saw was the trooper in front of my car. This was unexpected. I could have left the scene, but I decided to stay in my car and not leave the scene. I saw the trooper [at the] last second and couldn't brake in time.''

In his report, Augusta said Sullivan was glassy-eyed and his speech was so slurred that he had trouble understanding him. Sullivan had difficulty keeping his balance and declined to submit to a Breathalyzer test, according to Augusta's report.

Adolf Hitler taken from Parents.

HOLLAND TOWNSHIP, N.J. - Three New Jersey siblings whose names have Nazi connotations have been placed in state custody, police said.

Holland Township Police Sgt. John Harris said workers from the state Division of Youth and Family Services removed 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell and his younger sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, from their home Tuesday.

Harris said family services did not tell police the reason the children were removed. Agency spokeswoman Kate Bernyk said it does not comment on specific cases.
I'd say it's because their parents are Aryan Nation CREEPS
GO STATE. +10.

monkeys are people, too!

MADRID (Reuters) - Spain's parliament voiced its support recently for the rights of great apes to life and freedom in what will apparently be the first time any national legislature has called for such rights for non-humans.

Parliament's environmental committee approved resolutions urging Spain to comply with the Great Apes Project, devised by scientists and philosophers who say our closest genetic relatives deserve rights hitherto limited to humans.

"This is a historic day in the struggle for animal rights and in defense of our evolutionary comrades, which will doubtless go down in the history of humanity," said Pedro Pozas, Spanish director of the Great Apes Project.

"We have no knowledge of great apes being used in experiments in Spain, but there is currently no law preventing that from happening," Pozas said.

Keeping apes for circuses, television commercials or filming will also be forbidden and breaking the new laws will become an offence under Spain's penal code.

Keeping an estimated 315 apes in Spanish zoos will not be illegal, but supporters of the bill say conditions will need to improve drastically in 70 percent of establishments to comply with the new law.

Philosophers Peter Singer and Paola Cavalieri founded the Great Ape Project in 1993, arguing that "non-human hominids" like chimpanzees, gorillas, orang-utans and bonobos should enjoy the right to life, freedom and not to be tortured.

Pumpkinhead

Nigeria- Instead of wearing helmets, as the new law dictates, motorcyclists have been wearing pumpkins on their heads.

Officials in the northern city of Kano said they had stopped several people with "improvised helmets", following this month's introduction of the law.
Road safety officials said calabash-wearers would be prosecuted.

Thousands of motorbikes have been impounded around the country and drivers have staged protests.
Calabashes are dried pumpkin shells more commonly used to carry liquid.

"We are impounding their bikes and want to take them to court so they can explain why they think wearing a calabash is good enough for their safety," a road safety worker was cited as saying.
And why would people go so far as to put something on their head, but not just buy the stinking helmet?
In the city of Kaduna, drivers waved palm fronds and rode in convoy to protest at the price of helmets, which can cost up to $29 (£20).
They say passengers often steal the helmets once they reach their destination.

Stories have also appeared in the local papers highlighting passengers' fears that the helmets could be used by motorcyclists to cast spells on their clients, making it easy for them to be robbed.

"Some people can put juju inside the helmets and when they are worn the victim can either lose consciousness or be struck dumb," passenger Kolawole Aremu told the Daily Trust newspaper.

Fatal accidents are common. Road safety authorities say almost every collision in Nigeria's cities involves an okada.

More than 4,000 people die on Nigeria's roads every year and 20,000 are injured, according to the Federal Road Safety Commission.

Child Wedding: FAIL

Two German children took fake marraige to a new level: instead of having a friend marry them in the backyard, they planned a trip to Africa to tie the not.
Unfortunately, the police got in the way of their plans.

The young lovers, identified as Mika and Anna-Lena, packed bathing costumes, sunglasses and a snack, and headed for the airport.

They even had the presence of mind to invite along an official witness - Anna-Lena's seven-year-old sister. [Where did they even learn about this?!?]

The three got as far as Hanover railway station before police intervened. the station is almost a mile from the children's homes.

The young couple were "very much in love" and had decided to get married in Africa "where it is warm", police spokesman Holger Jureczko told the AFP news agency.

Officers persuaded the children they would not get far without tickets and money, but consoled them with a free tour of the police station, where they were shortly picked up by relieved parents.

Fort Collins, Colo. -- Battling for visitation rights to his young daughter, J.P. Weichel wanted to vent a little bit.

Weichel, 40, chose an avenue common for many modern plebecites: heposted comments about the woman on the Craigslist "rants and raves" forum, accusing her of child abuse and welfare fraud and making crude comments about her sex life.

The woman said the postings were defamatory. But unlike the majority of libel cases, which are tried in civil court, local authorities have taken the unusual step of charging Weichel with a crime.

Colorado is one of a dwindling number of states with a criminal law against libel. The statute dates to the 19th century and is rarely used.

quote of the case:
"Being a jerk isn't necessarily grounds for felony prosecution," said Mark Silverstein, legal director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Colorado.

Officer, I did NOT kill her on purpose.

SPRINGFIELD, Ohio -- A Tri-State woman is in critical condition Wednesday after police say her husband shot her while they were having sex.

Timothy Havens, 38, told Springfield police he was reaching for something on the nightstand when the pistol went off accidentaly, hitting his estranged wife Carolyn in the upper chest.

Havens, though claiming innocence, has a history of domestic violence. He served 60 days in jail for assaulting his wife and was ordered to go to anger management classes.

homewrecker, thats MY WIG!

PORT ST. LUCIE, FL— A 20-year-old woman told police the wig she was wearing got snatched by an angry ex-boyfriend, who pedaled away on a bicycle.

The victim said she left a party and was walking east on Southeast Voltair Terrace about 3 a.m. Friday when her ex-boyfriend came up on a bicycle.

She said he started arguing and yanked off a black wig that was sewn to her natural blond hair. The ex-boyfriend reportedly slapped her after she began chasing him.

Investigators found the victim's hair in "disorder." She said she and the alleged wig-snatcher lived together for eight months. She knew his first name, but apparently recalled only the first letter of his last name.

The ex-boyfriend called the victim's cell phone while an officer was there. Speaking to an officer via the cell phone, he admitted pulling the wig off and leaving when the victim started crying and said she was calling authorities.

The ex-boyfriend hung up after police asked for his last name. Investigators continue to try to identify the alleged wig-puller.

sleep with one eye open...

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German man who slept with a loaded revolver under his pillow has lost his gun license after a court ruled it to be irresponsible behavior.

The 56-year-old was stripped of his license for failing to store the weapon properly, Braunschweig administrative court judge Torsten Baumgarten told Reuters Tuesday. The gun was only discovered by chance during a police inspection.

"His home was being checked because he had threatened to throw a hand grenade if the city council approved plans to build a high-voltage power line in his neighborhood," Baumgarten said. "The decision to take his license was made independently."

Baumgarten said the ruling, which sets a legal precedent in Germany, in effect outlaws sleeping on top of a firearm -- because the owner of the gun is not in control of the weapon and is therefore putting himself and others at risk.

"Anyone could come along and take the gun away from him, his wife for example," Baumgarten said. The man, who also owned several other weapons, said he kept the gun under his pillow because he feared burglars.

I much prefer to imagine himself sleep-shooting his stupid face off.

This is a Pan-DON'T

BEIJING (AP) - A college student in southern China was bitten by a panda after he broke into the bear's enclosure hoping to get a hug, state media and a park employee said Saturday.

The student was visiting Qixing Park with classmates on Friday when he jumped the 6.5-foot (2-meter) -high fence around the panda's habitat, said the park employee, who refused to give his name.

He said the student was bitten in the arms and legs. Two foreign visitors who saw the attack ran to get help from workers at a nearby refreshment stand, who notified park officials, the employee said.

The student was pale as he was taken away by medics but appeared clear-headed, he said.

"Yang Yang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him. I didn't expect he would attack," the 20-year-old student, surnamed Liu, said in a local hospital, according to the official Xinhua News Agency.

W Virginia town gets poorest health ranking.

HUNTINGTON, W.Va. – Obese mayor of America's fattest and unhealthiest city explains why health is not a big local issue: "It doesn't come up," said David Felinton, 5-foot-9 and 233 pounds. "We've got a lot of economic challenges here in Huntington. That's usually the focus."

Nearly half the adults in Huntington's five-county metropolitan area are obese — an astounding percentage, far bigger than the national average in a country with a well-known weight problem.

Huntington leads in a half-dozen other illness measures, too, including heart disease and diabetes. It's even tops in the percentage of elderly people who have lost all their teeth (half of them have).

Cougar mauls 16-year-old girl

Miami herald - A young man's irresponsible bravado nearly cost a young girl her life Saturday afternoon.

The 16-year-old girl was mauled by a cougar and rushed to the hospital after she and 21-year-old Anthony Zitnick illegally entered a wildlife collector's home about 1:30 p.m. Neighbors believe Zitnick was trying to impress the younger girl.

Alan Rigerman, who legally keeps two cougars and several snakes, tortoises and alligators at his North Miami-Dade home, was out for the weekend at a reptile show in Central Florida.

Wildlife officials said the retired Miami-Dade school science teacher had permits for the animals.

Dried blood covered Rigerman's concrete floor at the spot where the 4-year-old cougar pounced on the girl and clenched his jaws around her head.

Richard Miralles, a neighbor familiar with Rigerman's large cats, heard the girl's piercing scream from next door.

'I heard her scream, `I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die,' '' he said, hours after paramedics had left.

Miralles said he immediately dropped what he was doing, jumped his six-foot fence, and barged into Rigerman's back room -- only to find the girl pinned beneath Chaos, her head in his mouth and his large declawed paw on her face. Zitnick was standing nearby in shock, Miralles said.