Humanoids are stupid. Laugh at them.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Snow Rage.

Willi Almonte-Rodriguez, 19, was charged with second-degree assault after he and his 17-year-old brother allegedly their father after he asked them for help shoveling snow on March 2.

"They sort of refused to shovel the snow then at one point the 19-year-old struck the father in the back of the head with the shovel, knocking him to the ground. Then the 17-year-old hit him in the back with his own shovel," said Lt. Sean Cooney of the Stamford Police.

"Anybody who hits their father over the head with a shovel, I can't believe it. He should be helping his father," Kolar said.

Police say Almonte and his brother had only recently moved to snowy Stamford. Until about a month ago they lived with family members in the sunny Dominican Republic.

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Thursday, December 4, 2008

homewrecker, thats MY WIG!

PORT ST. LUCIE, FL— A 20-year-old woman told police the wig she was wearing got snatched by an angry ex-boyfriend, who pedaled away on a bicycle.

The victim said she left a party and was walking east on Southeast Voltair Terrace about 3 a.m. Friday when her ex-boyfriend came up on a bicycle.

She said he started arguing and yanked off a black wig that was sewn to her natural blond hair. The ex-boyfriend reportedly slapped her after she began chasing him.

Investigators found the victim's hair in "disorder." She said she and the alleged wig-snatcher lived together for eight months. She knew his first name, but apparently recalled only the first letter of his last name.

The ex-boyfriend called the victim's cell phone while an officer was there. Speaking to an officer via the cell phone, he admitted pulling the wig off and leaving when the victim started crying and said she was calling authorities.

The ex-boyfriend hung up after police asked for his last name. Investigators continue to try to identify the alleged wig-puller.

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Obama = Dead Bear.

CULLOWHEE, N.C. (AP) — Police at Western Carolina University and wildlife officials were investigating the discovery early Monday of a dead bear cub draped with a pair of Barack Obama campaign signs.

Leila Tvedt, associate vice chancellor for public relations, said Monday night that maintenance workers found the 75-pound bear cub shot to death in front of the school's administration building at the entrance to campus. The Obama yard signs were stapled together and placed over the bear's head, Tvedt said.

The bear had been shot in the head, Tvedt said.

"Western Carolina University deplores the inappropriate behavior that has led to this troubling incident," Tvedt said. "We cannot speculate on the motives of the people involved nor who those people might be. Campus police are cooperating fully with authorities to investigate this matter."

University police called in state Wildlife Resources officials to remove the body and help in the investigation.

Bear season is under way in western North Carolina.

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Friday, July 25, 2008

Now I Ain't Sayin she a Gold-Digger....

GAINESVILLE, Ga. -- A Gainesville woman has successfully sued her ex-fiancé after he called off their wedding. A jury ruled it was a breach of contract and ordered him to pay $150,000 in damages.

Rosemary Shell holds a large, glittering engagement ring in her hands. She no longer wears it on her ring finger, but instead keeps it in the box it came in. She says it's a reminder of what could have been.

"He changed his mind for no good reason," said Shell.

She's talking about Wayne Gibbs- a man she dated for five years. Shell says when he said he wasn't interested in marriage she moved to Pensacola, Florida and started a lucrative new job earning $81,000 a year plus bonuses and benefits. Then Gibbs showed up.

"He asked me to marry him. He gave me a ring and I gave up my life and my career and I came back to Gainesville. He told me he would pay my bills, that we would be married by the holidays and we would live happily ever after. I believed him," said Shell.

But two days before the wedding, she says Gibbs left her a goodbye note saying he couldn't go through with the wedding. He also wrote her a $5,000 dollar check. She says she tore up both and instead sued him for breach of contract.

After just a day of testimony, the jury sided with Shell and ordered Gibbs to pay $150,000 dollars in damages.

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Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Borat Returns from the Underground?

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. - Crowds in Arkansas came for the lure of cage fighting and $1 beer, but police say what they got instead was men ripping each others' clothes off and kissing — a stunt suspected of being orchestrated by Sacha Baron Cohen of "Borat" fame.

"We had a contract for cage fighting. We were deceived," said Dwight Duncan, president and CEO of Four States Fair Grounds in Texarkana, where the first of two Arkansas fights raised suspicions last month.

Matt Labov, a Los Angeles-based publicist for Baron Cohen, said he had no comment Monday about the faked fights. One of Baron Cohen's movies is due out next year. [not Borat, but Bruno, the gay fashionista]

The day after the June 5 Texarkana bout, Fort Smith's convention center hosted "Blue Collar Brawlin.'" Fort Smith police Sgt. Adam Holland said organizers told him a character named "Straight Dave" would goad a planted audience member into the ring for a fight.

An elaborate array of mounted and handheld video cameras caught the crowd of 1,600's reaction as the two men "went right up to the line" of the city's morality laws, Holland said. The two men stripped down to their underwear, kissed and rubbed on each other, the sergeant said.

The audience, as well as local fighters drawn to take part in the show, became enraged. "It set the crowd off lobbing beers," Holland said. "They had beers in plastic cups. Those things can get some distance on them actually."

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Sunday, July 6, 2008

Walmart Moves to be hipper.

LITTLE ROCK — The familiar logo of the world's largest retailer is getting a makeover. Wal-Mart said Sunday the company will begin replacing logos on the front of its U.S. stores with a new design beginning this fall. Wal-Mart spokesman Kevin Gardner said the change would reflect changes customers already have seen in some store signs and advertisements.

"This logo update is simply a reflection of the refreshed image of our stores and our renewed sense of purpose of helping people save money so they can live better," Gardner said in a written statement.

Gardner said he had no other information about the change. However, The Wall Street Journal reported Saturday that the new look would include eliminating the hyphen in the company's name, now shown as a star at its more than 3,600 U.S. stores. The new logo would show company's name in white letters on an orange background, followed by a small starburst, the Journal reported, based on an artist's rendering filed with planning officials in Memphis

The revamped logo comes as Wal-Mart continues to tweak its image after facing criticism from union-led groups and local communities across the nation opposed to big-box store developments. In the time since, the company has launched a marketing campaign highlighting its environmentally focused practices and efforts to make health care more affordable for customers through a discounted prescription drug program.

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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Florida Mom Arrested After 16-Month-Old Baby Tests Positive for Cocaine

A Florida woman was arrested Monday after her 16-month-old daughter tested positive for cocaine, MyFOXOrlando reports.

The baby’s grandmother contacted Sanford, Fla., police after she went to check on her daughter, Marshal Daniels, and found her granddaughter alone, covered in sores. Daniels' mother took the baby to the hospital after noticing the child was digging at her skin in an attempt to scratch the wounds, MyFOXOrlando reports.

While being treated for the sores a doctor reported that the baby had tested positive for cocaine, MyFOXOrlando reports. Police arrested Daniels, 30, and charged her with child abuse. She is being held at the Seminole County jail on $7000 bond. [where she belongs.]

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Our friend Larry, Evangelical Iowan.

"I say we have to go vote because if we don't vote, then all the women will vote and we'll have a woman in the White House and then we got problems," bellows Larry Timmons, who is in the construction business, from the back of the room. This gets a huge laugh. But he's serious.

"God," he notes, "did not plan for a woman to run everything."

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Wednesday, September 5, 2007

California Infant Dies After Mom Uses Meth Pipe Swab to Clean His Nose

ONTARIO, Calif. — An 8-month-old boy has died after his mother told police she accidentally cleaned his nose with a cotton swab used earlier to clean a methamphetamine pipe.

Samuel Reta of Ontario was declared dead Friday at Loma Linda University Medical Center, according to the San Bernardino County Coroner's office.

Reta had been in a coma since police responding to a child-not-breathing emergency call early Thursday found him in full cardiac arrest. The baby also has a fractured skull, broken arm and pneumonia, police said.

Elizabeth Reta, 27, was arrested Thursday and booked for investigation of felony child abuse.
Her boyfriend Juan Antonio Sanchez Jr., who surrendered to police later that night, was also arrested on suspicion of abusing the child, officials said.
It was not immediately known if Reta and Sanchez faced additional charges now that they boy had died, police Sgt. Joseph Giallo said Monday.

Reta had told police she gave the baby a bath, and then used the cotton swab to clean his nose because it was itching, police said. She said she didn't know the swab had been used to clean a methamphetamine pipe.

It wasn't clear when the baby suffered the broken bones. Police said some of the injuries may be the result of Sanchez's attempt to rouse the baby from his seizure.

This is terrible, and disgusting. When did Americans get so trashy?

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