Humanoids are stupid. Laugh at them.

Friday, August 31, 2007

three letters: H-O-T.

Whale harpooned, hauled in by Japanese boat in front of whale-watching tourists
SAPPORO -- Eco-tourists on a whale-watching vessel, looking forward to observing the mighty creatures in their natural habitat, were instead greeted by the sight of a harpooned whale being dragged in by a Japanese whaling vessel on Friday.

At about 10:44 a.m. on Friday, a whale was spotted spraying water from its blowhole near a whaling boat, about 3.5 kilometers away from the whale-watching vessel off the coast of Hokkaido's Shiretoko Peninsula. But when the vessel approached, the passengers on board found that the whalers had harpooned the Baird's beaked whale, and it was hauled in by the whaling boat about 20 minutes later.

About 20 passengers on the whale-watching vessel looked on, voicing their pity as the whale was captured. A French woman who was on the vessel with her husband reportedly said the experience made her feel ill.
There were two other whale-watching boats nearby, but one of them left after a child started crying.

The 46-year-old captain of the passenger vessel was disappointed by the incident, which took place about 14 kilometers east of Rausu Port in Hokkaido.

"It's my job to show people whales and it's the whalers' job to catch them, but I wonder how this can be avoided," he said.
One of the two whaling companies operating the whaling ship, meanwhile, filed a protest against the whale watching vessel with the Rausu town government.

"The passenger boat approached us, which was extremely dangerous. We think this could be considered dangerous sailing, and we want you to issue a warning," the protest said. (Mainichi)
oh shit, PWN3D

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yo bitches, I post blogs like Owen Wilson shoots heroin!

Which is tragic and absolutely no laughing matter. What is a little funny, however, is that you would try to off yourself over a breakup. Granted, Kate Hudson is fabulous, but you are the homewrecker in this situation, remember? Remember the happy trifecta? Nor Ryder has to deal with Dax, and that is your fault. Way to go. On second thought, about that suicide attempt....
no, just kidding. suicide is still not funny.

Mimes, however...perpetually funny. Owen Wilson, only ephemerally so.

Can you guess the semi-obscene hand gesture? I bet you caaannn!

Prep Football: Photo raises a furor in Carroll

Three Carroll High School football players face a one-game suspension for making what the school has deemed obscene hand gestures in a team photograph.

This photo of the Carroll High School football team ran in the Carroll Daily Times Herald on Monday. The newspaper altered the photo before publication to "blur" four players, three of whom were making similar hand gestures and a fourth whom the paper judged not to be acting in a "respectable manner."
The decision prompted one boy's father to resign as a booster club president and left the local newspaper explaining its decision to publish an altered version of the photo.
The newspaper "blurred" four players in the photo, three of whom were making similar hand gestures and a fourth whom the newspaper judged not to be acting in a "respectable manner." The fourth player was not suspended from playing.

Mike Bach, the father of one of the suspended players, contended that the hand gesture the boys made is not obscene and has been commonly displayed by athletes in other sports at the school, as well as by widely known college athletes.

The gesture had become so accepted at the school, Bach said, that a varsity head coach at Carroll High used a picture of a player showing the gesture as a screen saver on his school computer.

"There was absolutely no intention at all to disrespect themselves or Carroll High School or the general public," Bach said of the suspended boys. He said he has requested that the school reconsider its decision.

Carroll High Superintendent Rob Cordes would not comment on the players' suspensions. He said the coach mentioned by Bach voluntarily removed the screen saver and had been unaware that the gesture could be interpreted as offensive.

The gesture, involving the middle, index and pinky fingers, goes by various names including "the shocker" when the connotation is sexual in nature. [when is it NOT?]

seriously....this year's burning man is just PLAGUED with problems.

First suicide at Burning Man; friends thought it was performance

Burningman83007
First the big wooden man got burned a week early by some stoned idiot - thankfully, they are going to rebuild it for the end - And now, this.

For the first time in 21 years of Burning Man, a Burner has committed suicide, the San Francisco Chronicle reports.


A man was found hanging inside a two-story-high tent this morning, said the federal Bureau of Land Management, which oversees the festival on the Black Rock Desert in northern Nevada. The man's identity has not been released pending notification of his family.
He dangled for two hours before anyone in the big tent thought to bring him down, said Mark Pirtle, special agent in charge.

"His friends thought he was doing an art piece," he said.
So far, an estimated 36,000 people have arrived at the gathering, with 46,000 expected by the time things end Saturday with the burning of a 40-foot-tall wooden man. Earlier this week, a participant set the structure ablaze and was charged with arson. Burning Man organizers say the man will be rebuilt in time for the official burn.

...it's just so sad. First, that a man took his life, but more-so that his doltish oaf friends were too high to know that a man hanging from a noose was not art.

Fabulous Geniuses: Student tricks rival fans into raising cards that spell "We Suck''

HILLIARD, Ohio — A high school student who tricked football fans from a crosstown rival school into holding up squares of construction paper at a stadium that together spelled out, "We Suck,'' was suspended for the prank, students said.
Kyle Garchar, a senior at Hilliard Davidson High School in suburban Columbus, said he spent about 20 hours over three days plotting the trick, which was captured on video and posted on the video-sharing Web site YouTube.

Garchar said he was inspired by a similar prank pulled by Yale students in 2004, when Harvard fans were duped into holding up cards with the same message.
At the end of the video, Garchar wryly thanks the 800 parents, staff and alumni from Hillard Darby High School who raised the cards at the start of the third quarter during last Friday's game played at Crew Stadium, home of Columbus' Major League Soccer team.
"It couldn't have been done without you,'' reads the closing frame of the video, which had been viewed more than 4,400 times by Thursday.
Garchar, 17, first went to Crew Stadium to take a picture of the seats. Then he created a grid to plan how the message would be spelled out once fans in three sections held up either a black or white piece of construction paper.

Directions left on stadium seats instructed fans to check that the number listed on their papers matched their seat numbers. Darby supporters were told the message would read "Go Darby.''
"It was tedious,'' Garchar said. "I didn't really think it was going to work.''

But it did, and everyone at Hilliard Davidson has been talking about the trick, said Jordan Moore, a junior.
"That was the ultimate in-your-face,'' he said. "I think it was ingenious.''

Davidson Principal John Bandow had told students he expected them to show sportsmanship at Friday's football game, which Darby won 21-10 in the first meeting between the two schools.
Bandow called Garchar to his office Monday morning, and gave him three days of in-school suspension and also banned him from participating in school activities for a semester, students said. Two other students who helped organize the trick received the same punishment.

Hilliard schools spokeswoman Michelle Wray couldn't confirm the students' punishment today because the Federal Education Rights and Privacy Act forbids the release of student disciplinary information.
But Jen Trimmer, 17, one of the students involved in the prank, said the suspensions for the three students began Wednesday and were to end Friday.
"We weren't expecting it to be such a severe punishment,'' she said today. "We just thought it was all in good fun.''

Stephen Bell, a Darby freshman, was at the stadium but missed the big moment.
"It was sneaky, knifing and down right clever,'' he said Wednesday. "But we'll get them back.''

seriously, this is what you are.

Amazing, fabulous douchebags.

The 20 Worst Lyrics Ever: No. 4

"Young, black and famous

With money hangin'

Out the anus"


--Puff Daddy and Mase's 'Can't Nobody Hold Me Down'



I think #4 should be #1, though Sade's "Coast to Coast - L.A. to Chicago - I Can't refute too much. It is a work of pure genius.

The entire list.

Mother: Dress Code Unfairly Targets Religion

The mother of a student who was suspended for violating her school system's dress code says the rules unfairly target religion, WRTV in Indianapolis reported.

Tracy Prochnow said Highland High School in Indiana suspended her daughter, Brittany Brown, on Monday because the junior wore a Christian-themed T-shirt.
Monday was the fourth time Brittany violated the code, which the city's school board implemented this year and requires students to wear khakis and polo shirts.

Prochnow said the school may be violating her daughter's rights, and she has asked the school board to change the code.
"I don't believe it matters what she's wearing -- whether it be a T-shirt and jeans or polo and khakis -- as to what she's going to learn," Prochnow told WRTV.

The front of Brittany's T-shirt features a cross and the words "This Shirt Is Illegal In 51 Countries." The back quotes the Bible's Romans 1:16: "I am not ashamed of the gospel because it is the power of God ... the salvation of everyone who believes."

"The school is basically saying I can't wear a shirt that talks about Jesus or Christ or God or any religious type of T-shirt because we have to wear a polo," Brittany said.

No, you dumb slut, it's saying that you can't wear a god damned T-shirt. [God damned used in the most ironic sense, as it is Godly and all, yes.]


The school's principal, Mark Finger, said the dress code doesn't target religious beliefs.

"The policy states there are to be no logos or slogans on a shirt," Finger said.
A city council member, Ollie Dixon, said he would work to change the policy. It wasn't clear what changes he would favor.

So what we can conclude is this: Jesus freaks are DUMB. Can't you think of another way to express your undying love, adoration, and devotion to JC? Perhaps through a headband, scarf, or belt? Maybe you could put a J on one loafer, and a C on the other, with big Justice crosses on the back. Fuck, write Jesus across your tush like its Juicy Couture...so long as it's on khakis.
[I love Justice.]

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When editorial corrections make the storie EVEN CREEPIER than they already were.

Cat faeces 'may be killing whales'

The following correction was printed in the Guardian's Corrections and clarifications column, Friday August 31 2007

The article below should have referred to cat faeces, not cat litter, throughout. This has been corrected.

Pet owners who flush cat faeces down the lavatory may be responsible for the deaths of whales, dolphins and porpoises around Britain's coast, according to academics and public health experts.

They have found evidence of a common parasite in dead marine mammals and say family cats could be be the unwitting source. Cats are essential to the life cycle of toxoplasma gondii, which can infect most mammals and birds but only as part of the food chain.

The possible link to dolphin deaths has been raised by staff from Swansea and Glamorgan universities and the National Public Health Service for Wales in a letter to the Veterinary Record. They say that in California concern that cat faeces have contributed to sea otter deaths has led to disposal warnings on bags of cat litter. But little is known about infection in marine species around Britain.

Blood samples from dead stranded cetaceans revealed infection in one in 70 harbour porpoises, in six of 21 common dolphins and in the only hump-backed whale tested. Nearly one in eight Swansea University and health service employees admitted flushing cat faeces away.
HAhahaha cat shit is killing the whales. I know whales dying is sad and not funny (unless they are being killed by Japanese whalers in front of a whale watch) but I just LOVE this.

Man With No Legs Cited For Driving Drunk

I only have one question here: which dude is stupider? The one that said "hey, let me sit on your lap, I've always wanted to drive!"
or the responder..." Sure, yeah. I'll be your legs! Here, hop on my lap! Oh wait, you can't hop? No legs? ok.....ill pick you up and put ya in my lap, pal. Of course, man, I love you too, man...."

(AP) ABBOTSFORD, Wis. Two men, driving the same pickup truck, have been cited for driving drunk in central Wisconsin.

Police stopped their truck in Abbotsford, Wis. recently and found 43-year-old Harvey Miller was steering the truck. Miller has no legs.

Officers say 55-year-old Edwin Marzinske was operating the gas pedals and brake.

The police report says Miller admitted he was too drunk to drive, but argued he wasn't actually operating the truck because he couldn't push the gas pedal. Officers disagreed and cited him for drunken driving, third offense.

Marzinske was cited for his second drunken driving offense.

Both men were also cited for operating a vehicle after revocation.

Classic Midwestern trash. Are you serious? "I wasn't operating the car, just steering? What a cock and balls excuse.

Colombia seizes island from drug lord "Lollipop"

Now I'm all for granting assylum to those in fear for their lives, but I hope we scoff at this ass-wipe.

BOGOTA (Reuters) - Colombia said on Monday it had seized $400 million in property, including a Caribbean island, from a cocaine baron arrested in Brazil this month and is awaiting extradition to the United States on drug charges. [An ISLAND? This dude is a serious baller. As a serious aside, I hope to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph that this island is literally just one giant rock of blow.]

Some 322 properties including farms, apartment buildings, a hotel, a gymnasium and an Island off the port of Cartagena were stripped from Juan Carlos Ramirez Abadia, nicknamed Lollipop, or Chupeta in Colombian Spanish, authorities said.

Ramirez Abadia, who gained notoriety in the 1990s as a leader of the still powerful Norte del Valle cartel based near Cali, used plastic surgery to change his appearance in a bid to avoid being identified.

He was captured notwithstanding in an August 7 raid on a luxury home near Sao Paulo, from which authorities say he oversaw a multibillion-dollar drug ring stretching to Europe and the United States.

Ramirez Abadia, 44, has served prison time in his native Colombia for drug trafficking but there are a number of outstanding accusations against him.

Since his arrest, Ramirez Abadia has made it clear he wants to be extradited to the United States, saying he would fear for his life if returned to Colombia.

Early this year, police found about $90 million in cash hidden in several apartments in the southwestern city of Cali, which authorities said had been stashed by Ramirez Abadia. [kind of like those sluts in Mexico.]

WHAT IS IT WITH YOU, JAPAN?!?

you put milk in your beer, you drink may-garitas, you have TVs in your TOWN SQUARES, an d an incomprehensible affinity for all things Hello Kitty. And shoes. Strange, tall, funky....shoes.
And now, this.

Butt-biting bug munches on Japanese tush in a quest for the golden (be)hind

Japan is getting tickled pink by a little fairy that goes around biting people's bottoms and making them happy, according to Sunday Mainichi (9/9).

Oshiri Kajiri Mushi, literally the Butt-Biting Bug, has struck a chord with Japanese young and old in recent months.

The Butt-Biting Bug, which is actually supposed to be one of the Little People, first appeared in June on an NHK children's cartoon. The crunching creepy crawly -- who, perhaps unsurprisingly, has roots dating back to ancient Assyria -- skyrocketed to national fame following the release of a CD and DVD on July 27, with stocks of both quickly running out.

Sales and additional orders for both the music and movie have continued flooding in, and a catchy mobile phone ringtone taken from a song about the Butt-Biting Bug and its tush tasting exploits attracts six times more downloads than any other of the dozens available on NHK's site. A children's book starring the fairy came out last week.

Sunday Mainichi notes that the Butt-Biting Bug is actually a fairy, whose nibbles on people's cabooses are supposed to bring them enormous amounts of energy.
The Butt-Biting Bug is the creation of an artist couple called Uruma and Terubi, who work together under the nom de plume of Urumaterubi.

"I was watching Terubi wash the dishes one night when the words 'butt-biting bug' just suddenly popped into my mind," Uruma tells Sunday Mainichi, recalling the creation of their fabulously famous fairy.

The weekly notes that the current Butt-Biting Bug is actually the 18th generation of its family.Terubi elaborates on the Butt-Biting Bug's colorful past, even if the explanation is a bit bizarre.

"The Butt-Biting Bug's genealogy can be traced back to ancient Assyria. Butt-Biting Bugs traveled across the ocean with Columbus and the current bug's ancestors heard of a land in the east called Jipang and heard tales of how it was filled with gold," Terubi tells Sunday Mainichi. "Generation after generation of Butt-Biting Bugs headed east in search of golden asses until the 17th generation, the mother and father of the current bug, finally arrived here in Japan." (By Ryann Connell)


Adorable. Just....adorable. Even better than Kerropi and Baditz-Maru. Really, kids. Really.

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Thursday, August 30, 2007

HA HA HA HA HA HA STUPID ASS.


Briefcase thief but misses out on $16,697

From correspondents in Duesseldorf

A THIEF stole a briefcase and threw it away without noticing it contained €10,000 ($16,697) in cash, German authorities said today.
"I think they'll be annoyed when they find out," said a spokesman for police in the western city of Duesseldorf.

The case's owner, a 57-year-old Iranian businessman, had reported it missing as he prepared to board a flight in Duesseldorf airport.
A policewoman later found it - ransacked, but still containing the two cash-filled envelopes.

My quote of the night.

"They're 10 feet long! You can sleep comfortably inside the penis of a Humpback."
Thank you for the insight, Jack Thompson.

ugly whale dork pic to come, when not in the office.

What type of evil villans have we become?

Colo. School Bans Tag on Its Playground


COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - An elementary school has banned tag on its playground after some children complained they were harassed or chased against their will.

"It causes a lot of conflict on the playground," said Cindy Fesgen, assistant principal of the Discovery Canyon Campus school.

Running games are still allowed as long as students don't chase each other, she said.

Fesgen said two parents complained to her about the ban but most parents and children didn't object.

In 2005, two elementary schools in the nearby Falcon School District did away with tag and similar games in favor of alternatives with less physical contact. School officials said the move encouraged more students to play games and helped reduce playground squabbles.


Sure, my only scar comes from a fierce game of zombie tag, and I may or may not have been kissed on the playground, but come on THATS LIFE. It's fun!
Is fun banned, now, too?

J.C.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

YEEESSSSSSS...

English supermodel Kate Moss has run back into the needle-scarred arms of Pete Doherty. Our man in London spotted the co-dependent couple at Claridge's hotel last week, having a weepy reunion. Since then, against the wishes of her family and handlers, Moss has been holed up with the Babyshambles rocker in a $4,000-a-night suite at the Mayfair hotel for five days.

Apparently, Kate has forgotten that Doherty told the Mirror - which reportedly paid him $80,000 - that she was "jealous and suspicious" and "a nasty old rag."

Now they're said to be talking about a wedding and children. This, after Doherty's umpteenth arrest last week for suspected drug possession. Not to mention those British reports that a vet discovered a sickly kitty - born to Pete's cat Dinger (slang for syringe) - had cocaine in its system. Surely, he'll make a great dad.

Denis Prindeville, you scare me.


So maybe I make fun of the retard, but seriously. LOVING KEVIN SPACEY SO MUCH IS FUCKING CREEPY!

Gay Unions Sanctioned in Medieval Europe

Take, THAT, Christian Right!


Civil unions between male couples existed around 600 years ago in medieval Europe, a historian now says.
Historical evidence, including legal documents and gravesites, can be interpreted as supporting the prevalence of homosexual relationships hundreds of years ago, said Allan Tulchin of Shippensburg University in Pennsylvania.
If accurate, the results indicate socially sanctioned same-sex unions are nothing new, nor were they taboo in the past.

“Western family structures have been much more varied than many people today seem to realize," Tulchin writes in the September issue of the Journal of Modern History. "And Western legal systems have in the past made provisions for a variety of household structures.”

For example, he found legal contracts from late medieval France that referred to the term "affrèrement," roughly translated as brotherment. Similar contracts existed elsewhere in Mediterranean Europe, Tulchin said.

In the contract, the "brothers" pledged to live together sharing "un pain, un vin, et une bourse," (that's French for one bread, one wine and one purse). The "one purse" referred to the idea that all of the couple's goods became joint property. Like marriage contracts, the "brotherments" had to be sworn before a notary and witnesses, Tulchin explained.

The same type of legal contract of the time also could provide the foundation for a variety of non-nuclear households, including arrangements in which two or more biological brothers inherited the family home from their parents and would continue to live together, Tulchin said.

But non-relatives also used the contracts. In cases that involved single, unrelated men, Tulchin argues, these contracts provide “considerable evidence that the affrèrés were using affrèrements to formalize same-sex loving relationships."

The ins-and-outs of the medieval relationships are tricky at best to figure out.

"I suspect that some of these relationships were sexual, while others may not have been," Tulchin said. "It is impossible to prove either way and probably also somewhat irrelevant to understanding their way of thinking. They loved each other, and the community accepted that.”

Man, crazy to think that even the dark ages were more progressive than modern America.

Prison inmates take out contract on sniffer dog's life

oh no...how ill Lil Tito get his crack now? If not up the ass of his girl? GOD DAMN THAT DOG, E FUCKED UP MY HIGH!
Meanwhile, Foxxy's weave is a mess in her solitary at Rikers. (Other inmates says she's "lonely" and "very nice")
Criminals in Limerick Prison have reportedly taken out a contract on the life of a sniffer dog who has almost cleared the prison of drugs.

Reports this morning say inmates are so frustrated with the dog's success that they have ordered their associates to have him killed.

The two-year-old black-and-white spaniel called Rocky is reportedly making an average of 10 drug finds every day in the prison's visiting area.

Visits are down by more than 30% since he began his work.

who's up for a road trip?

Now this is my kinda fair!

There are Deep Fried Lattes for a morning jump-start, plus fried chili pie, fried guacamole, and a range of crispy desserts including Fried Cookie Dough.

The third annual Big Tex Choice Awards contest on Labor Day tests the fair grub ingenuity of State Fair of Texas concessionaires. Past Big Tex awards have offered nonfried options, but none of this year's seven entries escaped the fryer.

"I think they're good products," said Ron Black, the fair's senior vice president of food service and novelties. "We've got experienced concessionaires, and their products all taste really good."

Michael Levy will debut his family's new Deep Fried Latte, which is a fried pastry topped with cappuccino ice cream, caramel sauce, whipped cream and instant coffee powder.

"We have gained about 10 pounds trying this. I'm not kidding," Levy said. "I've probably eaten 300 of these trying to get it right."

Concessionaire Allan Weiss is offering up Zesty Fried Guacamole Bites, a variation on the Fried Avocados he created last year. The bites are a scoop of guacamole, breaded, fried and served with ranch dressings or salsa.

"The Fried Avocado went over so well, and I think people like guacamole even more than they like avocado," Weiss said.

Gigi White invented Country Pride Peach Cobbler on a Stick, which is a peach cobbler with dumplings rolled in pastry dough and fried, and then covered in brown sugar and cinnamon and skewered. It's this year's only entry on a stick.

"I'm a food engineer," White said. "You really got to work it."
[I am too, I am too....if by engineering you mean scooping ice cream from the carton to the mouth.]

The other entries include Fernie's Fried Chili Frito Burrito, Mama's Fried Sweet Potato Pie and B.W.'s Original Fried Banana Pudding.

"I'm not sure we have another Fried Coke," Black said, referring to the smash hit of last year's State Fair. The dish has been imitated at fairs across the country.

Able Gonzales Jr., the creator of Fried Coke, conceded he may never invent an equal.

"I don't think I be able to beat that type of excitement again," said Gonzales, the chef behind this year's Fried Cookie Dough. "That was crazy."

The fair opens Sept. 28.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Moving the force to its rightful place, in the galaxy. Far, far away.

The original lightsaber wielded by Luke Skywalker will be delivered to NASA for launch in late October aboard shuttle Discovery, a flight that will mark the 30th anniversary of the 1977 release of the movie classic "Star Wars."

The lightsaber will be delivered today to Houston Hobby Airport, which is located about 30 minutes north of NASA's Johnson Space Center. Stormtroopers, R2-D2 and others will escort the it off the plane and into a crowd of airline travelers and Star Wars fans around 4:20 p.m. CDT (5:20 p.m. EDT).

The lightsaber will be transported to Space Center Houston -- the visitor complex on NASA Road One near the main gate to JSC -- where it will be on display through Labor Day. Then it will be shipped to Kennedy Space Center and stowed in the orbiter Discovery's middeck during the shuttle's 13-day round trip to the International Space Station.

[my mommy loves me!]

follow-up

COLUMBIA, S.C. - This time, the question was a little easier for Miss Teen South Carolina. After being stumped by a Miss Teen USA pageant question on live television Friday night, Lauren Caitlin Upton's confused, mangled response has been drawing a lot of attention.
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The 18-year-old got a chance to redeem herself Tuesday on NBC's "Today" show when she was again asked why one-fifth of Americans can't locate the U.S. on a map.

"I would love to re-answer that question," Upton said. "Well personally, my friends and I, we know exactly where the United States is on our map. I don't know anyone else who doesn't. And if the statistics are correct, I believe there should be more emphasis on geography."

That was much better than her previous response, which included "U.S. Americans" and mentions of South Africa and "the Iraq."

"Everything did come at me at once. I was overwhelmed and I made a mistake. Everybody makes a mistake. I'm human," she said Tuesday. "I seriously think I only heard about one or two words of the actual question."


I still think she's dumb, though it's nice that NBC allowed her the opportunity to redeem herself.

still just as funny as the first time.

A note to my suitors:

If you ever think you've made any headway with me, think twice.
I only want to marry the man who will give me this.

But only if it's real.......

Massive' gem dug up in S Africa


A picture of the 'diamond' next to a mobile phone
Experts say the find would be the stone of the century, if genuine
A small South African mining company has claimed to have discovered the world's biggest-ever diamond.

A shareholder in the unnamed mine told the BBC the stone had been unearthed at their operation in the north-west province on Monday afternoon.
He said the giant gem was about 7,000 carats - which would be twice the size of the Cullinan Diamond, centre-piece of the British crown jewels.
But industry experts are sceptical about the unconfirmed claim.
Brett Jolly, a shareholder at the mine, said the stone had been taken to a bank vault in Johannesburg.

Mr Jolly said he hoped tests on Tuesday would prove its worth.
In a photograph emailed to the BBC, the 'stone' appears to be about the size of a coconut, and has a greenish tinge.
But a spokesman for De Beers, the world's biggest diamond mining company, said the north-west province was not known for producing gems and greenish stones were even rarer.

The firm also said that if the find were genuine it would be the stone of the century.

what losers.


Lodi Woman Sees Face of Jesus on Fence

Emily West was doing some meditating over the weekend in her sister's backyard in central Lodi when something caught her eye.
"I looked up and saw the face of Christ in the fence and I said, "Whoa," West said.
She called her sister Ana over to ask what she saw. She too agreed, it was the Son of God.

Emily says the profile of Jesus can be seen on a knot of wood, along the fence which was built about two years ago.
"No one noticed it until now," said West.
She says whatever the image is, it's helped renew her faith after a life-threatening illness.
"I'm a breast cancer survivor. I've been through a lot recently. I take this as a sign things will be ok from now on," West said.
The family, who is Catholic, plans to invite the parish priest to see the image, too.

QUEER. this is ridiculous. a malformed knot will NOT save you. Maybe...not even the real Jesus can do that.

I just can't get enough of this Larry Craig story!

The details..it's like soft-core gay porn! Who knew?
Karsnia entered the bathroom at noon that day and about 13 minutes after taking a seat in a stall, he stated he could see “an older white male with grey hair standing outside my stall.”

The man, who lingered in front of the stall for two minutes, was later identified as Craig.

“I could see Craig look through the crack in the door from his position. Craig would look down at his hands, ‘fidget’ with his fingers, and then look through the crack into my stall again. Craig would repeat this cycle for about two minutes,” the report states.

Craig then entered the stall next to Karsnia’s and placed his roller bag against the front of the stall door.
http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif
“My experience has shown that individuals engaging in lewd conduct use their bags to block the view from the front of their stall,” Karsnia stated in his report. “From my seated position, I could observe the shoes and ankles of Craig seated to the left of me.”

Craig was wearing dress pants with black dress shoes.

“At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moved his foot closer to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly. While this was occurring, the male in the stall to my right was still present. I could hear several unknown persons in the restroom that appeared to use the restroom for its intended use. The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area,” the report states.

Craig then proceeded to swipe his hand under the stall divider several times, and Karsnia noted in his report that “I could ... see Craig had a gold ring on his ring finger as his hand was on my side of the stall divider.”

Karsnia then held his police identification down by the floor so that Craig could see it.

“With my left hand near the floor, I pointed towards the exit. Craig responded, ‘No!’ I again pointed towards the exit. Craig exited the stall with his roller bags without flushing the toilet. ... Craig said he would not go. I told Craig that he was under arrest, he had to go, and that I didn’t want to make a scene. Craig then left the restroom.”

In a recorded interview after his arrest, Craig “either disagreed with me or ‘didn’t recall’ the events as they happened,” the report states.


Seriously, guys.....I know you're Republicans and all, but the "I don't recall" stuff is getting a bit old.

Monday, August 27, 2007

dunkin donuts how can you do this to me.

I have enjoyed your fare since i was old enough to chew. There has never been anything better than a chocolate glazed, except maybe a butternut chocolate glazed.
That feeling in the pit of your stomach after too-quickly consuming a boston kreme, how can you frown upon that sickly full feeling?
Come now.
HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME
I have until October to stock up. If anyone wants to get donuts with me, I will be perpetually down.
until October.
when you are dead to me.
deadder than my great grandmother.
deader than stalin.
deader than those mcds french fries when they stopped using the beef extract. [you were never the same, never the same]



My two faves in one pic!!

Kind of sad, but mostly just funny.

South Buffalo man, 18, dies in fall from bridge

A young South Buffalo man who graduated from South Park High School in June apparently drowned accidentally early Sunday when he fell into the Buffalo River from the South Park bridge, police reported.

Matthew Neary, 18, of Portland Street, and a friend were walking home at about 2:30 a.m. when they began “fooling around” on the railing of the bridge near South Park Avenue and Lee Street, Buffalo Police Department spokesman Michael J. DeGeorge said.

DeGeorge declined to confirm reports that the two were doing handstands on the railing, but he said that alcohol may have been a factor.
[maybe.]

It's dollars and scents as liquor store uses aroma of lawn-cutting to sell beer

A Halifax liquor store has linked booze and the smell of backyards in order to sell more suds, pumping the scent of freshly cut grass into its beer section to evoke customers' positive feelings about cracking open a cold one on a hot summer day. The aroma of French bread wafts through the wine aisle, coconut conjures happy memories of beachside pina coladas in the rum section, while the smell of cedar fills the air near the whisky bottles. Although the Nova Scotia Liquor Corp. will not reveal how the scents have affected sales, tests have proven successful enough that the corporation is in talks to expand the technology into as many as 15 stores across the province.

I was hand-raped by a frat-boy in the Beast aisle, shit I accidentaly puked in my desk drawer in the scorpion bowl section..........fuck who is this man and why is he in my bed is near the tequilla.......

when has any normal consumer associated the fine smell of cedar casks with whiskey? Clearly, it's associated with bad dancing and late-night oral.
duh.

song of my world

not song of the day.
not week, not month.
song of my life.
song of my world.
dude thank you jared lester for sharing this oh so many years ago, it NEVER GETS OLD




Tunak Tunak Tun" is an Internet phenomenon. This cult following was spurred by the music video for Mehndi's song "Tunak Tunak Tun", often referred to simply as "Tunak", which gained its popularity due to Daler Mehndi's wild dancing and has led to many homages and parodies.[12] Mehndi originally conceived of the music video, in which he dances with "clones" of himself, in response to media statements that he was popular only because of the models in his videos. Tunak Tunak Tun was the first music video to make use of bluescreen technology in India.

Thought: people will do anything to get on youtube/be famous.
response: I will help them.


the comment on the side says "A sexy girl doing a stupid dance to a... A sexy girl doing a stupid dance to an even stupider song..."
which is Ironic only b/c my first thought when it began was "oohh I love this song!"


This one's just great because the dudes obv sat down and choreographed this garbage. Prob took hours. Maybe days, even.

things/thoughts for the weekend?

a beautiful wonderful strange video from ian, a vid of a dumb slut from haley billow. (Thank god they sewed that kitty back together.)



Friday, August 24, 2007

how to make the world angry.

give the fuhrer a slice.
Remind 12 million people that they died at the hands of a monster.
One that liked pizza, just like you and me.

WORST song of the day

Remixing this song is sacrilege.
I am offended.

What Rachel's doing at work right now.


So glad they pay me for this. So glad. Except for the gargantuan part of me that wants to TEAR MY OWN EYES OUT

story of the day

Women accused of taking boy, 12, to prostitutes
Friday, August 24, 2007
The Associated Press

A woman was accused of taking a 12-year-old boy to two houses of prostitution and paying for him to have sex there.

Linda Van Pool, 36, of Donora, was charged with endangering the welfare of a child, corruption of minors and other crimes.

Ms. Van Pool is the second person charged in the case. In May, Kathleen Waggoner, also of Donora, was arrested on child endangerment and corruption charges.

Ms. Waggoner, a bartender, gave Ms. Van Pool the money to pay for his time with at least two prostitutes, police said. Ms. Van Pool is charged with actually taking the boy to the prostitutes.

Both women have pleaded not guilty.


The only logical question left to ask is.....was the 12 year old the son of Ms. Van Pool? Lord I hope so! Happy birthday kid, here, fuck a slut.

Burning man....desert haven for stinky w00ks.

a snarky list of ways to "enjoy Burning Man at home." The list included many observations about the experience, like:

* Before eating any food, drop it in a sandbox and lick a battery.

* Stack all your fans in one corner of the living room. Put on your most fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full blast. Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

* Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.

* Get so drunk you can't recognize your own house. Walk slowly around the block for five hours.

* Have a 3 a.m. soul-baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms, a crocodile and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you're hallucinating. Lust after Bugs Bunny.

* Cut, burn, electrocute, bruise, and sunburn various parts of your body. Forget how you did it. Don't go to a doctor.

* Pay an escort of your affectional preference subset to not bathe for five days, cover themselves in glitter, dust, and sunscreen, wear a skanky neon wig, dance close naked, then say they have a lover back home at the end of the night.

for the full editorial...

Happy over hte hill, big mac!

Two all beef patties
special sauce
lettuce cheese pickles onions
on a sesame seed bun.

...have you had your break today?

A child raised on crappy advertising, I do know the song.
eat it.
Big Mac turned 40 today.

I understand that you loved your mother, but didn't the smell of decomposing, rotting human flesh get to you after a few months?

No?
You got used to it?
Thats fucking disgusting, FREAK.
BERLIN (Reuters) - A German left his dead mother seated in her favorite armchair at their shared home for two years because he could not face organizing a funeral, police in the southern town of Fuerstenfeldbruck said Friday.
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The woman died of natural causes in the chair in July 2005 at the age of 92, a police spokesman said. A doctor called to the scene at the time gave the son a death certificate but he did not register the death.

Neighbors recently alerted police about the corpse. The man told police he could not bear to move his mother and said he never again entered the room where she was seated. Police have started an investigation for violating German burial law.

I swear officer, I didn't inhale!

Putting the old excuses to shame ("It's not mine, I'm just holding it for a friend!" "I didn't inhale, I swear" "Officer, I'm so sorry, I will NEVER do this again what a MISTAKE")
We have THIS, out of NYC:
"Dude my WIFE spiked my MEATBALLS with the pot! I didn't even know!"


The New York Police Department fired a veteran counterterrorism detective who flunked a drug test. They said his claims that his wife served him marijuana-spiked meatballs simply weren’t credible.

With the dismissal, Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly rejected an earlier recommendation by an administrative judge that the detective be reinstated. Kelly has final say on firings.

Chiofalo is a 22-year-veteran assigned to the Joint Terrorism Task Force. He was suspended without pay in 2005 after a random drug test found marijuana in his system. The officer denied ever using drugs and demanded a hearing.

During an investigation, his wife said she had secretly substituted marijuana for oregano in her meatball recipe in hopes of forcing him to leave police work.

The detective’s lawyers also presented evidence that she had passed a lie-detector test, and offered testimony from a toxicologist that the excuse was valid.

YESSSS

Secret Trysts.
late night hotel fucks.
SO GLAD SO GLAD that my favorite couple is BACK!
Well, not my real favorite, but Kate Hudson fucked that up years ago.

you were the perfect family, why'd you have to go and fuck ugly ass broken nosed OWEN WILSON?



well, at least I've got your trainwreck, with your crack addidcted kitties and freakish love songs...

WOW. wow wow wow

82 minutes.
under two hours.
82 minutes is all that Nicole Richie gets in jail.
Now, I know that the CA jail system is overcrowded, but christ the girl drove the wrong way up an off ramp! It's not some tiny little misdemeanor.....and yet uit doesnt matter.
Meanwhile, back home in Boston, Scirocco runs for Mayor of Medford.
DUDE BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF LADIES FOR GIGGLES people that beat women regularly do NOT deserve to be MAYOR of anywhere.
why are these the people we put in charge of our whole communities well being?
Dude. what the fuck is wrong with us.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

clearly the answer to life's bigger problems.

Boy in court for throwing sausage
Wed Aug 22, 2007 2:36PM EDT

LONDON (Reuters) - A 12-year-old British boy appeared in court Wednesday charged with assault for throwing a sausage at a pensioner, police said.

The boy's mother described the decision to charge her son as "an absolute joke," although police said they had no choice.

The youth, who can't be named, was arrested after a 74-year-old man reported him to police for throwing a stone in Manchester, northern England.

The object turned out to be a cocktail sausage.

"Charging was the only option because the boy had previously been issued with three reprimands on separate occasions," a Greater Manchester Police spokeswoman said.

Police and prosecutors have launched a joint review of the case after a judge at Manchester Youth Court reportedly urged them to reconsider.

"If he has done what was suggested it is very bad behavior," District Judge Tim Devas was reported as saying in the Manchester Evening News. "But is it in the public interest to prosecute a 12-year-old boy who threw a sausage?"

The boy's mother said her son was worried he might be sent to prison.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I thought this shit ended with college?

Van was rocking, police were knocking

Mon Aug 20, 10:00 PM ET

VAN BUREN, Ark. - Amorous behavior in a Taco Bell parking lot led to an arrest on Sunday night. Van Buren police received a number of calls about the activities of a couple inside a van in the restaurant's parking lot.
ADVERTISEMENT

Police said officers found the couple "in a manner that was offensive to the public." Officers reported finding bags of marijuana in the van during a search.

James McCormick, 32, was cited for possession of marijuana.

Big Mac creator stars in a museum for the hamburger

By Nichola Groom

LOS ANGELES (Reuters Life!) - Jim Delligatti took two years to convince McDonald's Corp. that the Big Mac was a good idea but 40 years on he takes pride in having invented one of the world's most widely eaten foods that is getting its own museum.

In 1967, the McDonald's franchisee got permission from the corporate office to put two beef patties on a hamburger bun. A year later, the Big Mac he lobbied so hard for made it onto the menu of every McDonald's restaurant.

"I felt that we needed a big sandwich," the 89-year-old Delligatti told Reuters in an interview. "But you couldn't do anything unless they gave you permission."

To Delligatti's delight, the product was "an immediate success," he said, adding that the recipe has not really changed in the 40 years since he sold the first Big Mac in Uniontown, Pennsylvania.

"The first day we just used the regular bun, we didn't have any center (bread) slice," Delligatti said. "Making it that way made it very sloppy. The next day we put the center slice in, and today it looks the same."

When Delligatti created the Big Mac in 1967, it cost 45 cents and McDonald's had just 1,000 restaurants. Today, the Big Mac sells for $2.69 at the Delligatti family's 18 McDonald's restaurants in Western Pennsylvania, and the world's largest restaurant chain has more than 31,000 outlets.

Along the way, the Big Mac's ubiquity has come to mirror that of the Golden Arches itself. It is even used to track the value of foreign currencies against the U.S. dollar in an annual "Big Mac Index" published by "The Economist" magazine.

Even after all that, however, Delligatti said he never received much from McDonald's for creating the Big Mac.

"All I got for the Big Mac was a plaque," he said, adding that he prefers eating the chain's Hotcakes and Sausage, another menu item for which he is responsible.

wow wow wow

http://billyvssteve.com/

watch the movie watch the movie watch the movie!


you in?

Monday, August 20, 2007

song of the day.

Jeweish men are hilraious. Seriously. Dry wity sarcasm is great. haha...dry.

Op-Ed Contributor
Pore Me

By SHALOM AUSLANDER
Published: August 20, 2007

THE main thing is not to rush. If my pace accelerates past “Leisurely Stroll,” I’m done for. So I give myself time. I allow 30 minutes for a 10-minute walk. I head out at 5 o’clock for a 7 o’clock meeting 10 blocks away. Men hurry past. Women tut as they shoulder by. “It’s called a sidewalk,” mutters an old lady with a cane.
Skip to next paragraph
Enlarge This Image
Mark Todd

“Easy,” I tell myself, “It’s not a race.” I meander. I saunter. I mosey. And just when the day is ending and I think I’ve made it — one day without being covered in sweat, one day without coming home drenched — they switch my train from Track 6 to Track 11.

“Anyone sitting here?” I ask the unluckiest passenger on the train, pointing to the empty seat beside her. She looks at my shirt — at the dark patches under my arm, at the other one forming on my chest, at the streams of salt water sheeting down my forehead and stinging my eyes — and she smiles kindly.

“Yes,” she says. “Yes, there is.”

I sweat. I am a sweater. I sweat in T-shirts, I sweat in shorts, I sweat in the shower. It is not a certain dampness. It is not a masculine bit of moist. Sweat spurts out the top of my head like I’m a lawn sprinkler. I sit down on the curb at lunchtime and a little girl leaps over my head.

When I was young, the first thing my teachers told me about hell was that it was hot; after that, the punishments seemed redundant. “Yes, yes, hung by my tongue, eyes gouged out, boiled alive. How hot is hot, exactly? How about fans, do they have any fans?”

Summertime, when the living’s theoretically easy, is three long months of hell. The cold is easy — there’s no limit to the clothing you can put on. You can layer yourself so thick that your arms stick out and you can’t bend your legs at the knees. But heat — once you’re naked, there’s nowhere left to go.

So I plan ahead. By Memorial Day, I am usually rummaging the stores, preparing for the looming meltdown, hoping for salvation in linen pants and moisture-wicking shirts. I keep hoping that some sort of full-body sweatband will be the must-have this season, but the shop windows fill, as they always do, with easily-stained white shirts, off-white shirts, tan shirts. I stand in the men’s department and seethe.

In this season of blue skies and white beaches, I wear black. Black holds more heat than white but it shows damp patches less, the universe’s twisted sartorial/thermodynamic joke. I dress like an undertaker on Casual Friday: black T-shirt, black khakis and a pocket full of paper towels that will not suffice when the levee of my hairline eventually breaks.

As the solstice approaches, my mood darkens like the collar of a red button-down. I stare at the men on the subway in three-piece suits, each one dry as a bone. Something’s going on. Someone’s not telling me something.

I try to figure it out. Is it something I’m eating? Something I’m drinking? Am I drinking too much — or not enough? I drop caffeine. I eat less salt. I eat more salt. Last summer I thought it was my weight. I lost 10 pounds and seemed to sweat twice as much as I did before. Maybe if I gain 20 pounds I’ll stop sweating completely? Maybe if I gain 100 I’ll just drop dead, giving my washing machine a much-needed break?

The globe turns. The globe warms. July arrives. I look to science: Aisle 4, Anti-Perspirants. I’m a rabid anti-perspirant. I want the perspirants rounded up. I want them killed. I find Dry. I find Extra Dry. I find Cool Wave. I find Extra Dry Cool Wave Extreme.

I end up choosing one from the bottom shelf — that’s where they keep the good stuff: hair gel that sets like concrete, Advil 6000 for Fast Relief of Sudden Dismemberment and a roll-on deodorant so strong you’re supposed to put it on at night so it has time to alter your gene structure. I put it on that night, and sweated twice as much out of the top of my head the following day as I had the day before.

August. Misery now. I spend my time trying to figure out a way to earn a living without leaving the pool. I watch reports of global warming with evil glee: Soon you will know how I feel. Soon you will all know.

I try to take my mind off the thousands of small leaks my body has sprung by sitting still in the dark and watching movies; for me, “March of the Penguins” was an 85-minute, sub-zero happy ending. I replay the storm scenes. Look at all that ice! Look at all that snow!

And then, finally, Aug. 1 turns to Aug. 10, and Aug. 10 turns to Aug. 20, and I realize that the march of this urban penguin will soon be over. Soon it will be September and then fall and with fall will come a return to normality, a return to dryness, maybe even a white shirt now and again.

And one day, as the ice forms on the Hudson and the snow whips across Broadway, I’ll be sitting on the train and a woman will appear, a woman in earmuffs and mittens, a woman covered in so many layers that her arms stick out and she can’t bend her legs at the knee.

“Anyone sitting there?” she will ask, trying to point to the empty seat beside me.

“Yes,” I will smile kindly. “Yes, there is.”

Shalom Auslander is the author of the forthcoming “Foreskin’s Lament: A Memoir.”

Friday, August 17, 2007

I have never recomended a book more genuinely than I reccomend this, right now.

Danielle Crittenden is a blogger on Huffington Post.
She does a regular column called "The Presidents Secret IMs."
Danielle just released a book compiling all the ims from huffpost, and some more, just for shits. I laughed out loud in public places more than I like to admit.
I know, Mike, that this qualifies as a LONG post, but read it. it's funny.

R

in case you're a little slow, ladeezman42 is bill and kickass43 is george.

Chat with Ladeezman42
8:09 p.m.

kickass43: dude!

Ladeezman42: AWAY MESSAGE: The Clinton Global Initiative is designed to inspire action. Find out how you can contribute by going to www. clintonglobalinitiative.org.

Kickass43: aw man
Kickass43: kno ur ther
Kickass43: ur watchin america's nxt top modle
Kickass43: cmon
Kickass43: don't try 2 duck me

Ladeezman42: AWAY MESSAGE: The Clinton Global Initiative is designed to inspire action. Find out how you can contribute by going to www. clintonglobalinitiative.org.

Kickass43: k fine
Kickass43: b that way
Kickass43: u may b *away* but ur not *offline*
Kickass43: I kno u can c this
Kickass43: so I'll jus say wat im gna say

Ladeezman42: AWAY MESSAGE: The Clinton Global Initiative is designed to inspire action. Find out how you can contribute by going to www. clintonglobalinitiative.org.

Kickass43: thot we had a dealio
Kickass43: "I don't blame u 4 osama"
Kickass43: "u don't blame me 4 osama"
Kickass43: that chris wallace intervu wuznt cool
Kickass43: repeat: NOT. COOL.

Ladeezman42: AWAY MESSAGE: The Clinton Global Initiative is designed to inspire action. Find out how you can contribute by going to www. clintonglobalinitiative.org.

Kickass43: like wat wuz that bout???
Kickass43: u lookd crazy
Kickass43: way loco
Kickass43: all that rite wing conspircy shit
Kickass43: blamin me/blamin fox etc
Kickass43: u KNO u sat on ur ass 4 8 yrs...
Kickass43: 8 YRS!
Kickass43: lettin osama blo up *watevah*
Kickass43: "how bout sum uss cole wit ur kobar twrs?"
Kickass43: "mayb us like tha world trade centr as a side 4 now...?"
Kickass43: "cuz tha hole things goin on speshul on 9/11"
Kickass43: then like now ur *away*
Kickass43: *inspirin acshun*
Kickass43: yeh rite
Kickass43: key wrd: *inspirin*
Kickass43: sur aint *doin*
Kickass43: k
Kickass43: sed wat I needd 2 say
Kickass43: sum bud u r
Kickass43: gna turn on tha ball game...

Ladeezman42: u hold it rite ther!!
Ladeezman42: SIT
Ladeezman42: NOW

Kickass43: new it!
Kickass43: new u wer ther!

Ladeezman42: u did dick bout osama b4 9/11!
Ladeezman42: u cda stoppd 9/11 if ud cared more bout securty...
Ladeezman42: than pullin brush in tx!

Kickass43: geez man it wuz a nu term
Kickass43: I nvr do well my 1st yr
Kickass43: im still tryin 2 figr out wher my frikkin classes r

Ladeezman42: well don't go givin me dis "dealio" crap
Ladeezman42: we didn't hav no deal

Kickass43: DID
Kickass43: chkd w/poppy
Kickass43: he remembrs
Kickass43: few mos aftr 9/11
Kickass43: he sed "this aint a moment boys 2 get in2 tha blame game"
Kickass43: remembr?
Kickass43: that time we were all playin horseshoos at camp dave?
Kickass43: (I beat jeb)
Kickass43: u sed "ur rite mr. b"
Kickass43: "aint no gd pointin fingrs"
Kickass43: "this is biggr than all of us"
Kickass43: so wat wuz all that fingr pointin wit wallace????

Ladeezman42: lttl creep
Ladeezman42: jus wantd 2 punch him!
Ladeezman42: knock im out--bam!
Ladeezman42: wipe dat smug lttle smile offa his face
Ladeezman42: felt GOOD
Ladeezman42: makin dat twerp squirm
Ladeezman42: sho im we clintons don't hafta take dis shit
Ladeezman42: havent felt dat good ina long time
Ladeezman42: not sins I dissd jennings

Kickass43: well u mighta felt gd but I sur didn't aprechiate it
Kickass43: & its not like u did urself any gd
Kickass43: like here u r
Kickass43: *mr statesman*
Kickass43: *mr globl inishutiv*
Kickass43: gettin laura out 2 talk bout sumpin othr than books & slo kids
Kickass43: shakin hands w/gates & buffett
Kickass43: lettin tha press kiss ur ass
Kickass43: "oo he shd b tha nxt gen-sec of that UN!"
Kickass43: (aftr mr coffee annan gets led off 2 prison...)
Kickass43: (wher he'll get 2 test his frikkin geneva convenshuns in tha showr)
Kickass43: & u go on sum paranoyd rant!
Kickass43: hed slap dude!
Kickass43: man u jus uppd tha clinton street cred w/tha lefty whackos!
Kickass43: ur a star on utube--u & george allen!

Ladeezman42: hmm
Ladeezman42: u may b rite
Ladeezman42: jus felt so dam good

Kickass43: yeh well that's alwys ur xcuse
Kickass43: aint gna help u sink hllry
Kickass43: if that wuz ur plan
Kickass43: (which I thot it wuz)

Ladeezman42: not like u guys r helpin me out here
Ladeezman42: hllry looks hot now compard 2 dat boob allen
Ladeezman42: & he wuz like ur front runner!
Ladeezman42: dat must b a 1st!

Kickass43: wat?
Kickass43: a jew runnin 4 prez?

Ladeezman42: no!
Ladeezman42: dat tha stupidst guy in tha race is jewish
Ladeezman42: as monica wd say: wat a shonda

Kickass43: ?

Ladeezman42: an embarrsmnt!
Ladeezman42: 4 tha jews!

Kickass43: cmon
Kickass43: its not like ur surpriz jews r any bttr
Kickass43: look @ kerry!
Kickass43: man no 1 cared that he acceptd "irishman of tha yr" award...
Kickass43: like 4 X in a row!
Kickass43: & he's as jewish as allen
Kickass43: didn't c that come up in tha debates

Ladeezman42: dats cuz he wasn't such a shmok

Kickass43: stop wit tha hebrw
Kickass43: aint gettin u

Ladeezman42: *yiddish*
Ladeezman42: look it up
Ladeezman42: ull c ur foto ther
Ladeezman42: comes aftr putz

Kickass43: lol
Kickass43: NOT
Kickass43: o wait--here's u:
Kickass43: noyef
Kickass43: course u guys had allbright
Kickass43: allbright jewish!
Kickass43: muy shockr!

Ladeezman42: she wuznt all jewish

Kickass43: wuznt all brite neither

Ladeezman42: k but we still fieldd bttr jews
Ladeezman42: rubin, reich, emanuel...

Kickass43: we got tha neocons...

Ladeezman42: GREENSPAN...

Kickass43: josh boltens a jew
Kickass43: JOHN bolton acts jewish...

Ladeezman42: summers...

Kickass43: lieberman!
Kickass43: wait...
Kickass43: duz he count on r side or urs?

Ladeezman42: u can have im

Kickass43: k
Kickass43: still
Kickass43: u havent xplaind y u blew up wit wallace
Kickass43: went all meshugeh

Ladeezman42: dunno bud
Ladeezman42: felt like ol times I ges...
Ladeezman42: & I did owe hllry sumthin

Kickass43: ?

Ladeezman42: chek out this foto
Ladeezman42: tha chick in front
Ladeezman42: sum shainkeit

Kickass43: wat bristen!

Ladeezman42: ur catchin on dude
Ladeezman42: unfortunatly so wuz hillry
Ladeezman42: a bump in her polls...
Ladeezman43: will distract her from tha bump in my pants
Ladeezman42: kno wat im sayin

Kickass43: got it bud
Kickass43: ur still a pisk-malocheh

Ladeezman42: l8r

Ladeezman42 has left the chat.

Dude, this is SO sad.

Hurricane News Scares 8-Year-Old Fla. Girl Into Trying To Ride Bike To Ohio
Sheriff's Deputies Find Missing Girl Pedaling Out Of State

POSTED: 7:14 am EDT August 17, 2007
DELAND, Fla. -- An 8-year-old DeLand girl reported missing was found by police riding her bike as fast as she could to leave the state of Florida, fearing a massive Hurricane Dean was on its way.
The parents of Heather Snoke reported the girl missing Wednesday night after last seeing her riding on her bike, according to a newspaper report.

Volusia County sheriff's deputies searching by helicopter eventually spotted Heather about a mile from home on East Plymouth Avenue, still on her bike.
She told officers that the recent news about hurricanes had scared her, and she wanted to ride her bike back home.
"It is amusing but at the same time sad," DeLand police Deputy Chief Randel Henderson said.

The girl was transported back to her home and was not injured.
No charges are pending, Henderson said. "There was no abuse. There was no neglect. It's a happy story. We're just so excited we were able to find this little lady."
The family recently moved to Florida from Columbus, Ohio, and her parents said she hasn't made any new friends yet, an Associated Press report said.

poor retard thought she could ride to Ohio. GET SOME FRIENDS. and start doing thigh presses and shit, Ohio is HELLA far from Florida.

umm...this is just weird.

Seat Belt 'Heimlich' Saves Choking Man

Aug 16, 4:19 PM (ET)
EUGENE, Ore. (AP) - A seat belt saved a driver, police say, but not in the usual way. Steven Earp, 48, was eating a fast-food sandwich Wednesday morning, said police Sgt. Doug Mozan. Earp choked and blacked out. His 1997 Honda sedan hit a parked car.
After the wreck, Earp came to.
Mozan attributed his revival to a "seat-belt-induced Heimlich maneuver."
Witnesses told police Earp got out of his car, and they asked if he was OK.
"No, I'm not," he said, and collapsed again.
Paramedics revived him and took him to the hospital, where doctors determined he hadn't been injured.
"We urge people to take the extra time to pull over to the side of the road to enjoy your breakfast sandwiches," said Mozan. "The fact that it was a nonfatal accident was extremely lucky. He didn't choke to death or take anyone else with him."

I wonder how fat this dude was. Because chances are, he's a fucking tank. We really shouldn't let fatties get away with this crap. And what is this Mozan quote? (other than HIlarious) I know I always enjoy my breakfast sandwiches on the side of the road...along with those quickes with the ten cent hooker. And my crack pipe.
At least I'm safe about it....

Tee Hee Hee

death is only funny when the plot has to do with tightie whighties.

Ex-minister guilty in poisoned undies plot

August 17, 2007 07:05pm
SOUTH Africa's apartheid-era police minister Adriaan Vlok was handed a suspended 10-year prison sentence today after pleading guilty to charges of attempting to murder a leading black activist cleric in 1989.

State advocate Anton Ackerman told the Pretoria High Court the sentence would be suspended for five years.
Vlok, his former police chief Johann van der Merwe and three lower-ranking policemen, pleaded quilty on a charge of the attempted murder of anti-apartheid activist Frank Chikane, now adviser to President Thabo Mbeki, by poisoning his underwear.
Vlok last year washed Chikane's feet in an act of contrition - a hugely symbolic act in a country where many people count themselves as devout Christians.

Protesters outside the court today demanded that Vlok be prosecuted for other human rights abuses when he was in charge of police during apartheid, the racially based political system that existed in South Africa from 1948 to 1994.

What a sick story. Man's a geniues (sick in only the best way)

British cop proves he was still on duty during sex romp

Thu Aug 16, 2:40 PM ET
LONDON (AFP) - A British police officer who had sexual relations while on duty was acquitted in court because he was in constant radio contact due to the earpiece he was wearing during his sex romp.
Police transport inspector Massoud Khan, 41, found his 43-year-old partner on the Internet dating site uniformdating.com.

He conducted his illicit encounter in a room at the police station at Gatwick Airport, near London, it was reveaLed during the trial on Wednesday.
The jury quickly came to a unanimous verdict as the policeman proved he was able to respond to all emergencies as he was equipped with an earpiece tuned in to the police radio frequency.

"If there was a call for me, I would have answered it and I would have dealt with it," he told the court, according to the Times newspaper.
His lawyer Kevin Baumber believes that the inspector certainly misbehaved, but his bad decision is not a crime.

"This is a criminal court, not a moral court. It's doubtful that this case would have been brought if he had taken an extended lunch break or gone for a game of golf," he said.
The inspector still may face disiplinary action.


...Man, I need to move to Europe.
only....one year, 14 days!
woo!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

oh man, i love her, but this is too funny.

Answers in Genesis, creepiest org. EVER.

"Dinosaurs," Ham laughs as he poses for pictures with his visitors, "always get the kids interested."

AIG is dedicated to the proposition that the biblical story of the creation of the world is inerrant in every word. Which means, in this interpretation and among other things, that dinosaurs coexisted with man (hence the saddles), that there were dinosaurs in Eden, and that Noah, who certainly had enough on his hands, had to load two brachiosaurs onto the Ark along with his wife, his sons, and their wives, to say nothing of green ally-gators and long-necked geese and humpty-backed camels and all the rest.

(Faced with the obvious question of how to keep a three-hundred-by-thirty-by-fifty-cubit ark from sinking under the weight of dinosaur couples, Ham's literature argues that the dinosaurs on the Ark were young ones, and thus did not weigh as much as they might have.)

"We," Ham exclaims to the assembled, "are taking the dinosaurs back from the evolutionists!" And everybody cheers.

To Read More...

When cuteness ATTACKS!

This really is the funniest logo ever.




also, Barry Manilow is coming on Sept. 9.
I think someone should come with me.

This bike is siiiiccckkkk




Though I surely wouldn't want to be the one to have to carry it up the stairs.

woah, nelly.

Just to throw it out there, I had a dream in which I sexed Paris Hilton. It was like Cinderella; I liked it because poor little me got to live in a manse, and she liked being able to help the peons.
Her hispanic maid caught us.
classy, right?




...Mommy, does this mean I'm a lesbian?...

In honor of this, HERE is the SONG OF THE DAY!


[that's hot.]

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

WSJ opinion page, I love you.

Rove's True Regret: It's a Rap
By Al Kamen
Wednesday, August 15, 2007; Page A09

Karl Rove, the outgoing White House deputy chief of staff and President Bush's closest adviser, has had his ups and downs over the years. The "ups" would perhaps be the passage of the Medicare drug-benefit expansion, tax-cut legislation and No Child Left Behind, and of course a couple of stunning presidential runs.
The somewhat less rewarding moments might have been talking to Robert Novak and Matt Cooper about Valerie Plame, the failed Social Security initiative, the '06 elections, the flameout on immigration reform, maybe that Iraq adventure.

Asked by our colleague, Peter Baker, if there is one, just one, thing he really, really regrets, Rove said: "I regret accepting that invitation from CNN and going to that stupid dinner and getting turned into MC Rove."

Really? Worse than Iraq? Surely that "Rappin' Rove" routine at the White House Radio and Television Correspondents' Dinner in March wasn't that bad.

Let's take a look: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYZre8kEsuw.

Well, he's got a point.

wow. scott stapp, anyone?


Police: Man 'Angry With God' Drives Into Church

POSTED: 11:03 pm EDT August 14, 2007
A 23-year-old St. Augustine man who told deputies he was "angry with God" and intentionally drove his pickup truck into a Catholic church Tuesday morning, according to the St. Johns County Sheriff's Office.

Just before 3 a.m., deputies responded to a report of a crash at St. Anastasia Catholic Church in the 5200 block of state Road A1A South. They said they found Thomas Kyle Nursey still in the driver's seat of his Ford F-150 pickup that had crashed into the door of the church, according to WJXT-TV.

Deputies reported damage to the door and north wall of the church, but an estimate of damages was not immediately available.

The church would not comment on the crash.

Nursey was arrested and charged with criminal mischief.
[Idiot.]

Hello, Kitty!


One of Russian Leopard triplets in the Budapest Zoo

The Persian leopard is the largest of the leopard subspecies and is native to Western Asian countries such as Iraq, Afghanistan and Armenia.

The leopard is endangered, however, with less than 2,000 thought to be living in the wild. An additional 74 leopards live in zoos.

The cubs born in Hungary , sisters Bella and Bara and brother Bahar , are part of a breeding program of the European Association of Zoos and Aquaria.

you know you're from Indiana when...

follow this link
It's a news video from Indianapolis, where the HS seniors used over 2,000 rools of toilet paper to TP the road to their school. "This is better than christmas lights, it really is." WHAT?!?!?

Look! Im not the only one who HATES FATTIES.


Italian mayor offers diet subsidy


Residents of Varallo Sesia who lose 3kg (6.6lbs) in one month are entitled to 50 euros (£34). A doctor must certify dieters as being overweight.
They can claim a further 100 euros if they keep the weight off for another five months.
Mayor Gianluca Buonanno said he came up with the scheme after his son called him "big belly".

"Dieting needs strong motivation, and I am trying to muster some collective will here," Mr Buonanno was quoted by Britain's Guardian newspaper as saying.
He said he wants to lose 6kg himself but will not claim any of the cash.

The scheme in the town of 7,400 people was announced on Friday and Mr Buonanno said there had been a queue to register over the weekend.
Italian Health Minister Livia Turco said Varallo Sesia was setting a positive example that more towns should follow.

Her ministry has said 28 million Italians are overweight - almost half the population - with five million people officially classified as obese.

so heres a thought for the gaming geeks.

IN YOUR BASE, KILLING YOUR DUDES.
why dudes?
not soldiers
not men
not guys
dudes?
can anyone tell me where the DUDES originated from?

and why ive been giggling about this one sentence all morning?

heres an article about the history of computer games.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

THAT'S MA GIRL!



BUT it's strange.....sometimes she still looks sooooo young....

Tina Dhingra and Idit have taught me the Japane's affinity for mayonaise, but this is just RIDICULOUS!


Mayo margarita anyone?


"Mayogarita", a white drink with a hint of the creamy dressing, is one of several cocktails Nakamura serves in his "Mayonnaise Kitchen" restaurant in suburban Tokyo, which features mayonnaise on everything from toast and spaghetti to fondue.

While older Japanese might gag at the thought of mayonnaise on rice or savory pancakes, the young are slathering it on.
They even have a name for mayo fanatics: "mayolers".
"If you put it on raw tuna fish with red flesh, it tastes like medium-fatty tuna fish. That kind of unpredictability makes it interesting and popular."
In 2006, Japanese consumed 1.65 kg of mayonnaise per person, down from a peak of 1.90 kg in 2000, according to the Japan Mayonnaise and Dressing Makers' Association. [GROSS]

"I know it's rich, but I like the taste," said 22-year-old Mayumi Kameoka.
"My friends and I used to put a lot of mayonnaise on bite-sized fried chicken at our school cafeteria."

"MAYOLER" MANIA
Japanese mayonnaise, first produced in 1925, is creamier and tangier than its Western counterpart, and includes only egg yolks, not whites, with varying amounts of oil and vinegar to alter the taste.
Manufacturers provide a constant stream of recipes that involve the dressing, helping to make it a staple in most Japanese refrigerators.
"It has a good flavor," said Akira Omori, 32, who likes to put mayonnaise on dried squid and other snacks. [DOUBLE GROSS]


MAYO REVOLUTION: 'Mayoty Dog', which tastes like the vodka-based cocktail Salty Dog but is served in a glass with mayonnaise on its rim instead of salt, is pictured at the 'Mayonnaise Kitchen' restaurant in western Tokyo.

I sprain my ankle, they get a fucking article. How is this fair?

Miami-Dade joggers make a beer run
Hundreds of laid-back runners are taking jogging to another level, if not new highs. If you join, bring your own bottle opener.
Posted on Mon, Aug. 13, 2007

A lone hasher follows the trail in the twilight at Haulover Park Marina north of Miami Beach.


A group of screaming runners makes its way through the streets of South Beach. Restaurant patrons look up from their meals with startled expressions.
One runner blows on a conch shell.
Others chant, ``On, On!''
At the halfway mark in the five-mile run they stop at a bar called Lost Weekends to hydrate themselves -- with beer.

These are the Hash House Harriers -- not runners with a drinking problem, but drinkers with a running problem. Or so they say.
Once a week, the hashers partake in a run that is equal parts scavenger hunt, pub crawl and social gathering.
''I love it,'' said Rich Aube, a 35-year-old real estate agent from Dania Beach who has been hashing for four months. ``I like to run and I don't mind drinking.''
The Miami-Fort Lauderdale chapter has about 300 registered members, a group that includes a National Hurricane Center meteorologist, a Broward County School Board member, a journalist, Navy officers and a dog. They range in age from 21 to 58. Most are men.
The hash started more than 70 years ago by Army officers living in Kuala Lumpur, the capital of Malaysia.
For the modern-day hashers, either a pub or a beer-stocked cooler awaits the end of the run.

Through expatriate communities around the world and those who love knocking back a beer or two, running and a dirty joke, the ritual has evolved into an intricate society complete with a bible, an anthem and websites like www.gthhh.com. There are 1,834 chapters registered in their online directory, in 178 countries and every American city. There are even chapters in Antarctica.
''Some of us are marathon runners,'' said Michael Tichacek, 43, a National Hurricane Center meteorologist from Miami.
``Some of us are beer drinkers. But the best part is nobody wins or loses. You just show up.''

yess! I MADE THIS HAPPEN.

Home of the bean and the blog
By Chris Reidy, Globe Staff | August 14, 2007

According to OutsideIn.com, a website that tracks neighborhood blogging, Boston was the "bloggiest city" in America for the two-month period it examined, March and April.

Behind Boston were Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, and Washington, D.C.

OutsideIn.com said it tracks blogging activity in about 60 urban areas. It based its rankings on a "blogging quotient" that factored in a metropolitan area's population with the number of blog posts tied to specific locations.

By that measure, Greater Boston had 89 posts per 100,000 residents, edging out Greater Philadelphia, which had 88 posts.
Message Board What are your favorite blogs, and why?

Why was Greater Boston number one? Outsidein.com's chief executive, Steven Berlin Johnson, offered this theory: Blogs thrive where locals are wired, well-educated, and obsessed with politics, a topic that inspires bloggers to vent their opinions.'


\rawkus/

Monday, August 13, 2007

Wow. This is GREAT.

"Check out the Worst places to take a date in Boston Photo Gallery
on Boston.com. "

Song of the Day.

Maria Taylor, from the album Lynn Teeter Flower.
I fucking love this girl. SO MUCH.

Song of the day.

Maria Taylor, from the album Lynn Teeter Flower.
I fucking love this girl. SO MUCH.

Friday, August 10, 2007

hoooottttt

a vid about the ipod dancer guy. Excellent.

Thank you Beep, this web page is AMAZING.

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Raver

Rave music

Whenever you go to a rave, don't expect to see any musical instruments at all. Turntables are not instruments either; don't let anyone tell you otherwise. The only thing ravers listen to is electronic music, which everyone else calls techno. Never call it that though, as you'll have an hours-long argument on your hands as the raver will try to educate you on the intricate categorizations of electronic music. Even shithead and well-known wigger, eminem, knows that raver "music" sucks.


<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Stu Bykofsky | To save America, we need another 9/11

Harsh, but genius. I like this Stu guy. He has some intriguing points (and he is not alone in his voicing them, though I do prefer his linguistics to some)

ONE MONTH from The Anniversary, I'm thinking another 9/11 would help America.
What kind of a sick bastard would write such a thing?
A bastard so sick of how splintered we are politically - thanks mainly to our ineptitude in Iraq - that we have forgotten who the enemy is.
It is not Bush and it is not Hillary and it is not Daily Kos or Bill O'Reilly or Giuliani or Barack. It is global terrorists who use Islam to justify their hideous sins, including blowing up women and children.

Iraq has fractured the U.S. into jigsaw pieces of competing interests that encourage our enemies. We are deeply divided and division is weakness.
Most Americans today believe Iraq was a mistake. Why?
Not because Americans are "anti-war."
Americans have turned their backs because the war has dragged on too long and we don't have the patience for a long slog. We've been in Iraq for four years, but to some it seems like a century. In contrast, Britain just pulled its soldiers out of Northern Ireland where they had been, often being shot at, almost 40 years.
That's not the American way.

In Iraq, we don't believe our military is being beaten on the battleground. It's more that there is no formal "battleground." There is the drip of daily casualties and victory is not around the corner. Americans are impatient. We like fast food and fast war.
Americans loved the 1991 Gulf War. It raged for just 100 hours when George H.W. Bush ended it with a declaration of victory. He sent a half-million troops into harm's way and we suffered fewer than 300 deaths.
America likes wars shorter than the World Series.
Bush I did everything right, Bush II did everything wrong - but he did it with the backing of Congress.

Because the war has been a botch so far, Democrats and Republicans are attacking one another, when they aren't attacking themselves. The dialog of discord echoes across America.
Turn back to 9/11.
Remember the community of outrage and national resolve? America had not been so united since the first Day of Infamy - 12/7/41.

We knew who the enemy was then.

We knew who the enemy was shortly after 9/11.

Because we have mislaid 9/11, we have endless sideshow squabbles about whether the surge is working, if we are "safer" now, whether the FBI should listen in on foreign phone calls, whether cops should detain odd-acting "flying imams," whether those plotting alleged attacks on Fort Dix or Kennedy airport are serious threats or amateur bumblers. We bicker over the trees while the forest is ablaze.
America's fabric is pulling apart like a cheap sweater.
What would sew us back together?

Another 9/11 attack.

The Golden Gate Bridge. Mount Rushmore. Chicago's Wrigley Field. The Philadelphia subway system. The U.S. is a target-rich environment for al Qaeda.
Is there any doubt they are planning to hit us again?
If it is to be, then let it be. It will take another attack on the homeland to quell the chattering of chipmunks and to restore America's righteous rage and singular purpose to prevail.
The unity brought by such an attack sadly won't last forever.

The first 9/11 proved that. *

Baijis, aka Chinese Yangtze river dolphins


This cute little guy is extinct!
First they poison Kielty with TOXIC TOOTHPASTE, now this?

I HATE YOU, CHINA!

song of the day.

this video reminds me of Sesame St.
and Dancing LIKE A SHARK.


you HAVE to be fucking kidding me.

IF only, why dear Lord did you not help me.....I WISH THERE WERE PICS OF THESE INSANE W00KS.

Graying hippie lives in treehouse in urban Miami neighborhood

By KELLI KENNEDY | Associated Press
7:17 AM EDT, August 9, 2007

MIAMI -- This graying hippie makes the nightly, winding climb 18 feet to her cozy bedroom. She wakes to roosters' crows and the scents of dewy soil. Over breakfast, her view is a jungle of towering trees, no hint of concrete civilization.

Shawnee Chasser lives in a treehouse above a secret garden in the middle of Miami. For 15 years, she has lived atop the 1.5-acre nirvana of green trees and farm animals behind a row of houses 10 minutes from downtown.

Neighbors come for potlucks, drum circles and weekly volleyball games. Tenants who rent the extra bedrooms hang out in the open kitchen. It is exactly the peaceful paradise Chasser envisioned when her brother and others built the three-story treehouse months before Hurricane Andrew devastated the area in 1992.

The evergreen tree's thick branches were the only ones visible for miles, said 56-year-old Chasser, who was dressed in a bohemian floral skirt and peasant blouse. A mass of dyed red and purple curls trailed down her back.

Chasser and her daughter sleep at the top of the three-room treehouse, built partly of recycled wooden planks with carved railings. At night they cool themselves on the porch. The branches cradle metal cages where Chasser rehabilitates squirrels and raccoons.

Eleven-year-old daughter Lantana shimmies up the sturdy trunk to play, climbing past windows shaped liked hearts and peace signs. Wooden wind chimes sing in the breeze.

The tree also provides extra income. Chasser has been bombarded with calls after a Craigslist posting that offers two treehouse rooms, each $380 a month. She said many are so taken with the ad, they have sent her checks sight unseen.

About 30 tenants have shared the airy kitchen, outdoor shower and compost toilet with Chasser and her daughter. They're mostly young and typically stay a few months. A young environmental fundraiser now shares the bottom room and a Philadelphia woman starring in a tattoo reality show moved into the other room Thursday.

``They're into this hippie dippie thing and this is where they can hang out and do that for a few months,'' Chasser said.

But even hippies need electricity.

Chasser's tile-floored kitchen has a blender, popcorn maker, oven, stove and refrigerator. Lantana watches TV and does homework on the computer that has wireless Internet. They keep cool with a ceiling fan, but no air conditioner _ a turnoff for some.

``A guy from Boston stayed the first night and he was out of here. He couldn't handle the roosters crowing and the mosquitoes,'' Chasser said.

Jennifer Shyka, a farm girl from Maine, spent four months in the treehouse, thriving in the simplistic communal environment.

``I just think it's a magical place, with the animals and the trees. The way it's set up with the outdoor shower, getting fresh fruit off the trees and vegetables from the garden,'' said 30-year-old Shyka. ``I fell in love with it. I've never seen a place like this in the middle of the city.''

She loved watching neighborhood children walk down a city street to pet the emus, goats, pigs and chickens at the farm, named ``Earth 'n' Us.''

The giving tree fosters a close-knit way of life.

On a recent Sunday, Lantana kicked off her shoes and climbed dangerously high up the rope swing onto the ledge of the highest room. Goldie Locks, the family's golden retriever, rolled in the dirt beneath. Chasser's older daughter Wren Levy, her family and a handful of friends stopped by for the volleyball game. Granddaughter Savannah Sparrow, 3, caught a worm and pleaded for some hay to feed the goats.

Levy showed off the bowls she made from the Calabash tree growing near the house and talked about the drum circles she holds there on full moons. Loved ones' footprints cover the property. Hammocks, pictures from trips to Guatemala and knickknacks like the ``No Pecan Inn'' sign above the shower add a homey feel.

It's a modern Swiss Family Robinson of sorts where everyone pitches in. Chasser's brother, who owns the property and lives in the main house, cares for the animals. Chasser, who runs a landscaping business, cares for the greens. The gumbo-limbo, chinaberry, poinciana and avocado trees are mostly indigenous and require little work.

Chasser and Levy want the giving tree to expand its charity. They host field trips, teaching public school children about the environment and letting them roam the petting zoo.

They are also raising money to build a healing garden for troubled youth, which would include midnight games on their tiny basketball court.

Or just a quiet spot to think.

Much like the Shel Silverstein poem Levy painted years ago on one wall.

``A tree house, a free house, A secret you and me house, A high up in the leafy branches, Cozy as can be house.''

BWAH! CREEPY! Beheaded Snake Sends Man to Hospital

Thursday, August 9, 2007

(08-09) 19:06 PDT Prosser, Wash. (AP) --

Turns out, even beheaded rattlesnakes can be dangerous. That's what 53-year-old Danny Anderson learned as he was feeding his horses Monday night, when a 5-foot rattler slithered onto his central Washington property, about 50 miles southeast of Yakima.

Anderson and his 27-year-old son, Benjamin, pinned the snake with an irrigation pipe and cut off its head with a shovel. A few more strikes to the head left it sitting under a pickup truck.

"When I reached down to pick up the head, it raised around and did a backflip almost, and bit my finger," Anderson said. "I had to shake my hand real hard to get it to let loose."

His wife insisted they go to the hospital, and by the time they arrived at Prosser Memorial Hospital 10 minutes later, Anderson's tongue was swollen and the venom was spreading. He then was taken by ambulance 30 miles to a Richland hospital to get the full series of six shots he needed.

The snake head ended up in the bed of his pickup, and Anderson landed in the hospital until Wednesday afternoon.

Mike Livingston, a Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife biologist, said the area where the Anderson's live is near prime snake habitat. But he said he had never heard of anyone being bit by a decapitated snake before.

"That's really surprising but that's an important thing to tell people," he said. "It may have been just a reflex on the part of the snake."

If another rattlesnake comes along, Anderson said he'll likely try to kill it again, but said he'll grab a shovel and bury it right there.

"It still gives me the creeps to think that son-of-a-gun could do that," he said.