Humanoids are stupid. Laugh at them.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

post from my new favorite blog


While there are some animals that just straight don't exist, the dik-dik is very real, only you can't see it except in photos. (Proof: Show me a dik-dik on the internet that isn't in a photograph.) This photo was taken of an out of focus tree, but when it was developed, there was a dik-dik right there, smiling in its little creepy adorable way. Trust me: you do not want a dik-dik to show up in your photos. Minutes after this photo was taken, both the man and the dog were killed in a freak accident involving a water ski, two pairs of wool mittens, and a lion (it was mostly because of the lion). Dik-dik's are doomed to this kind of work because they are really just a giant rip-off of an antelope with a little bit of anime thrown in to make them look really creepy in a Disney kind of way.

The best way to get rid of a dik-dik in any photo is to tell it to get lost. Personally, I like focusing on its lack of originality, e.g. HEY DIK-DIK IF I WANTED TO GET TERRIFIED BY WEIRD LOOKING PHOTOS, I WOULD JUST WATCH THE RING OR READ THE GOOSEBUMPS BOOK SAY CHEESE AND DIE. Don't try to get rid of them by looking at various pictures of them in cute poses for hours on end, or by thinking it's ridiculously cute that they are named after the sound they make when they are alarmed, because I've tried that already, and it doesn't work.



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