I can't be there, y'all take advantage

Small-Chested drivers get the a-ok from Hanoi.

HANOI, Vietnam—Faced with mounting public criticism, Vietnam's Health Ministry suspended a widely ridiculed plan to ban short, thin and small-chested drivers.

The ministry had recommended that people whose chests measure less than 28 inches be prohibited from driving motorbikes -- as well as those who are too short (less than 4 -foot-8) or too thin (less than 88 pounds).

When the media revealed the plan this week, it prompted disbelief and scorn among members of the public, who envisioned the police pulling over female drivers to measure their breasts.

Thursday's state-run Tuoi Tre newspaper quoted ministry official Nguyen Huy Quang as saying the proposal would be suspended.

more reasons not to waste time on love.

The honeymoon period is officially over two years, six months and 25 days into wedlock, according to new research.

And by the third wedding anniversary 83 per cent say they couldn't be bothered to continue celebrating the day they got together.

The poll of 5,000 married couples, conducted by global research company onepoll.com, revealed that more than half feel undervalued in their relationship.

Seven in 10 men admit they are so comfortable with their spouse they frequently leave socks, pants and other dirty washing lying around the house.
And 79 per cent think nothing of leaving the toilet seat up after using the bathroom.

Two-thirds of women polled say they never make the effort to dress up and look nice for their partner, and 54 per cent no longer bother plastering on the make-up.

In fact, a slovenly 61 per cent of women readily admit the first thing they do when they get home from work is remove all smart clothes and make-up for comfy pyjamas or tracksuit bottoms. [and I ask: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT?!?!?]
Forty three per cent of couples haven't had breakfast in bed together since they walked down the aisle. [good. it's cleaner that way.]

what is there to do other than ride kangaroos?

SYDNEY (Reuters) - A group of boys who stole a golf buggy from a resort in northern Australia sparked a low-speed highway chase when they were pursued down a major highway by two resort employees in a second buggy.

The chase occurred last Monday when the five boys, aged between 10 and 16, took the buggy from the resort near the city of Darwin, the Northern Territory police force said in a statement on its Website.

After running along the main Stuart Highway, the chase ended when police arrived and the boys abandoned the buggy. One of them, a 10-year old, was arrested, but the others escaped.

The buggy was retrieved and returned to the resort undamaged, police said.

fat people seriously disgust me

MONTERREY, Mexico (AP) - The world's heaviest man officially tied the knot Sunday in norhten Mexico.

Manuel Uribe married his girlfriend, Claudia Solis. But that didn't mean the fattie needed to get off his, well, fat ass. He hasn't left his bed in six years. Why would this day be any different? A flatbed truck towed his custom-made bed decorated with a canopy, flowers and gold-trimmed bows to a local event hall.

Uribe smiled as his bride walked down a flight of stairs wearing a strapless ivory dress, a tiara and hot-pink lipstick. He later broke into tears as a notary declared the couple husband and wife in a civil ceremony attended by more than 400 guests.

Two years ago, Uribe tipped the scales at 1,230 pounds, earning him the Guinness World Record as the world's heaviest man. He has since shed about 550 pounds with the help of Solis.

The wedding will be featured in an upcoming Discovery Channel documentary, which I won't watch, because I actually will vomit up everything in my confused 135 pound body.

Ultimate Wedding Stagefright.

TOKYO (Reuters) - Rather than go through with an unwanted wedding, a Japanese man set fire to the hotel where the ceremony was to be held.

Tatsuhiko Kawata, 39, had gone along with wedding plans despite already having a wife, the Yomiuri newspaper said.

"I thought if I set a fire I wouldn't have to go through with the wedding," the Yomiuri quoted him as telling police.

Guests at the hotel were evacuated and no one was injured when he set the fire in the early hours of Sunday morning at the resort hotel in Yamanashi Prefecture, west of Tokyo.

Kawata and his fiancee had been set to get married before 80 guests. He was arrested after suddenly cancelling the event and behaving suspiciously, the Yomiuri said.

you can't be serious.

VIENNA (Reuters) - An Austrian man, charged with drink driving, drove to a police station to complain about the charge whilst drunk, officials said on Monday.

The 65-year-old had his driving license and car keys first taken away from him on Sunday after driving while over the alcohol limit in the northern city of Linz.

He then went home, picked up his spare car keys, went back to the abandoned car and drove to police headquarters to explain why he was unhappy with the charge.

"When the driver tried to show police officers what had happened the first time, they detected he was still under the influence of alcohol," police said in a statement. The driver was charged a second time.

Tear out those red panties, the rumors are TRUE!

We've all heard it. Red is the color of love, sex, passion, whatever. But a recent study found that the color really does drive men wild more htan any other.
When shown photographs, men rated a woman more sexy when wearing red clothing or if the image was framed with a red border.

The study led by psychology professor Andrew Elliot of the University of Rochester, New York, seemed to confirm red as the color of romance -- as so many Valentine's Day card makers and lipstick sellers have believed for years.

Although this "red alert" may be a product of human society associating red with love for eons, it also may arise from more primitive biological roots, Elliot said.

Noting the genetic similarity of humans to higher primates, he said scientists have shown that certain male primates are especially attracted to females of their species displaying red. For example, female baboons and chimpanzees show red coloring when nearing ovulation, sending a sexual signal that the males apparently find irresistible.

"It could be this very deep, biologically based automatic tendency to respond to red as an attraction cue given our evolutionary heritage," Elliot, whose findings appear in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, said in a telephone interview.

The researchers noted that the color red did not alter how men rated the women in the photographs in terms of likeability, intelligence or kindness -- only attractiveness.

The researchers then had a group of young women rate whether the pictured woman was pretty. Red had no impact on whether women rated other women as pretty, they found
Gay men and color blind men were excluded from the study.

Wilkerson may be trying to revitalize Roxbury, but that doesn't mean she aint shady.

Senator Diane Wilkerson has been arrested after a year and a half FBI investigation.
She takes bribes, and sticks them in her bra.
Like any lady would.

oh shit! I left those important files on the tube!

LONDON (Reuters) - A senior civil servant who left secret intelligence files relating to Iraq and al Qaeda on a train was fined 2,500 pounds on Tuesday.

Richard Jackson, 37, from Yateley, Hampshire, admitted breaching the Official Secrets Act after he mislaid two documents when he inadvertently took them home on June 10.

He was physically sick when he realized he had lost the files on a train from London Waterloo to Surrey, the Press Association said. During the hearing, he spent much of the time with his head in his hands.

Jackson was suspended after the incident but has since returned to work, in a position described as at least three grades lower than before.

Man, finding those must have been pretty sweet.

Reuters Video Headline = priceless.

Sarah Palin wigs a winner

Oct 25 - The style of Republican Vice Presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, sets new trends with many of New York's Orthodox Jewish community buying wigs that copy her hair.

vid of the day

click through to ytmnd. I know, 80% of the time not funny, but this one is, I swear! Stay through to the end.

Richard Dawkins makes my God Smile.

The atheist bus campaign is HERE! In a counter to religious advertising, a UK group will be buying God-free ads on buses throughout London.

The British Humanist Association will be administering all donations to the campaign, and Professor Richard Dawkins, bestselling author of The God Delusion, has generously agreed to match all contributions up to a maximum of £5,500, enough to fund two sets of atheist adverts on 30 London buses for four weeks.

If the buses hit the road, this will be the UK's first ever atheist advertising campaign.

jacked from the link:
The atheist bus campaign aims to change this. In addition to the slogan, the adverts will feature the URLs of secular, humanist and atheist websites, so that readers can find out more about atheism as a positive and liberating alternative to religion. We've also set up an interactive campaign website and Facebook group, so that questions raised by the adverts can be publicly debated.

CBS Outdoor, the bus advertising company, will run the atheist adverts in January if the funds are raised – but we need your help to make this happen.

Your donations will give atheism a more visible presence in the UK, generate debate, brighten people's day on the way to work, and hopefully encourage more people to come out as atheists. As Richard Dawkins says: "This campaign to put alternative slogans on London buses will make people think – and thinking is anathema to religion."

Now THIS is what I call research

Bubbles for Obama

CHICAGO – The only "agent of change" Princess ever supported was the person who freshened the water in her fishbowl.

So election officials in Chicago's northern suburbs want to know why voter registration material was sent to the dead goldfish.

"I am just stunned at the level of people compromising the integrity of the voting process," said Lake County Clerk Willard Helander, a Republican, who said she has spotted problems with nearly 1,000 voter registrations this year.

Beth Nudelman, who owned the fish, said Princess may have landed on a mailing list because the family once filled in the pet's name when they got a second phone line for a computer.

"There was no fraud involved," said Nudelman, a Democrat who supports Barack Obama. "This person is a dead fish."

The paperwork sent to a "Princess Nudelman" likely came from the "Women's Voices, Women Vote" project, which sent nearly 1 million mailings to Illinois households in August using a list that mistakenly included some pets, said Sarah Johnson, a spokeswoman for the not-for-profit group that encourages single women to vote.

The mailing list, purchased from a vendor, included names from warranties, magazine subscriptions and other sources, Johnson said. The group attempted to screen out obvious pet names.

"Fido's not going to be left on there, but if a cat is named is Polly, she may be," Johnson said. Princess could be a person's name, she insisted. "I went to high school with two Princesses."

genius rich guy gets it right.

Andrew Lahde's $80m Los Angeles-based firm Lahde Capital Management in Los Angeles made a huge return last year by betting against subprime mortgages.

Yesterday the 37-year-old told his clients that he had hated the business and had only been in it for the money. And after declaring he would no longer manage money for other people, because he had enough of his own, Lahde said that instead he intended to repair his stress-damaged health; he made it clear he would not miss the financial world.

"The low-hanging fruit, ie idiots whose parents paid for prep school, Yale and then the Harvard MBA, was there for the taking," he wrote. "These people who were (often) truly not worthy of the education they received (or supposedly received) rose to the top of companies such as AIG, Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers and all levels of our government," he said.

"All of this behaviour supporting the aristocracy only ended up making it easier for me to find people stupid enough to take the other side of my trades. God bless America."

Lahde became one of the biggest names in the investment industry when one of his funds produced a return of 866% last year, largely by forecasting the US home loans industry would collapse.

In his farewell letter, which concluded with an appeal for the legalisation of marijuana, Lahde said he was happy with his rewards and did not envy those who had made even more money.

"I will let others try to amass nine, 10 or 11 figure net worths. Meanwhile, their lives suck," he wrote, citing a life of back-to-back business appointments relieved only by a two-week annual holiday in which financiers are still "glued to their Blackberries".

Lahde's retirement came amid an implosion among the hedge fund industry - some 350 of the funds have liquidated this year, according to Hedge Fund Research.

His final words of advice? "Throw the Blackberry away and enjoy life."

Kerry’s answer to the ‘boxers or briefs’

CAMBRIDGE - U.S. Sen. John Kerry, the 2004 Democratic presidential nominee, had some choice words for the political press corps and, in particular, cable news Monday.

U.S. Sen. John Kerry (D-Boston): Politicker PhotoU.S. Sen. John Kerry (D-Boston): Politicker PhotoKerry, addressing a business summit on energy issues, kicked off his remarks with some light-hearted banter.

"These are the exciting last two week moments of the presidential campaign," the Boston Democrat said. "So it's a very special time. I can't wait for it to be over. I am so tired of the press' silly questions that they ask along the way. And cable television which reduces everything to stupidity - the lowest common denominator of conflict."

Kerry tried to relay to the audience what it is like to face the press corps' inquiries.

"I don't know if any of you know what it's like. I do, obviously," he said. "I've been asked all of those brilliant questions that were repeated this year."

"Barack got asked the famous boxers or briefs question," Kerry went on. "I was tempted to say commando."

The senator said Obama successfully parried that question but that John McCain, the GOP nominee, had some problems.

"Then they asked McCain and McCain said, ‘Depends,'" Kerry said to lots of laughter from the crowd.

Obama = Dead Bear.

CULLOWHEE, N.C. (AP) — Police at Western Carolina University and wildlife officials were investigating the discovery early Monday of a dead bear cub draped with a pair of Barack Obama campaign signs.

Leila Tvedt, associate vice chancellor for public relations, said Monday night that maintenance workers found the 75-pound bear cub shot to death in front of the school's administration building at the entrance to campus. The Obama yard signs were stapled together and placed over the bear's head, Tvedt said.

The bear had been shot in the head, Tvedt said.

"Western Carolina University deplores the inappropriate behavior that has led to this troubling incident," Tvedt said. "We cannot speculate on the motives of the people involved nor who those people might be. Campus police are cooperating fully with authorities to investigate this matter."

University police called in state Wildlife Resources officials to remove the body and help in the investigation.

Bear season is under way in western North Carolina.

Story of the Day pt. 2

MillerCoors ends production of Zima :(((((((((((

7 hours ago

MILWAUKEE (AP) — MillerCoors LLC says goodbye to Zima.

The joint venture between SABMiller's U.S. unit and Molson Coors Brewing Co. told distributors in a letter Monday that production of the malt liquor beverage was discontinued as of Oct. 10.

Chief Marketing Officer Andy England says the decision was due to weakness in the "malternative" segment and declining consumer interest.

He says distributors can get remaining Zima inventories most likely through December.

Distributors are being asked to put products from caffeinated alcoholic beverage Sparks on retail store shelves to make up for Zima's absence.

The brand came to the joint venture from Molson Coors, maker of Coors Light and Keystone.

What tragedy, what disaster.

Dear 1940: I want to be in you!

SIOUX FALLS, S.D. (AP) - Two years after South Dakotans rejected a nearly total ban on abortion, voters on Nov. 4 will decide another sweeping but less restrictive ballot measure that would probably send a legal challenge of Roe v. Wade to the U.S. Supreme Court.

The initiative would outlaw abortions but includes exceptions for rape, incest and pregnancies that threaten the life or health of the woman. Some voters said they wanted those exceptions when they rejected the tougher 2006 measure 56 percent to 44 percent.

McCain is a Hooded Monster?

Clearwater - Frank Armstrong was preparing for his morning jog when he noticed his Lexus – adorned with a McCain-Palin sticker - had been vandalized with obscenities and a burned American flag.

Armstrong discovered the damage to his 2006 Lexus about 8:30 a.m. at his Sand Key condominium at 1400 Gulf Blvd. Clearwater police and Armstrong said someone etched obscenities and "KKK" into the paint, burned several areas of the car with cigarettes, set the flag on fire on his hood and may have urinated on the vehicle. Officers and Armstrong think the car was singled out because of its political stickers, including one reading "Nobama."

"This is definitely a hate crime," said Armstrong, a 41-year-old physician.

Police estimated damage at $4,500. Police classified the incident as "criminal mischief/hate crime" and said it appeared "to be politically/racially motivated because the victim affixed a bumper sticker supporting the McCain campaign as well as an anti-Obama bumper sticker."

story of the day - tie. pt. 1

FORT PIERCE, Fla. -- A woman decided to go to jail rather than pay her bill at a Fort Pierce Waffle House restaurant.

The total she went to jail over: $7.45.

According to a police report, Maryanne O'Neill, 66, ordered coffee and a sandwich at a Waffle House restaurant on Saturday but refused to pay the bill.

The report said an officer asked her to pay or go to jail and she refused.

A jail official says she was released Monday from the St. Lucie County Jail. She is charged with obtaining food or lodging with intent to defraud, a second degree misdemeanor.

If convicted of a second degree misdemeanor.

Question: What in the hell service was she expecting that she didn't get at a WAFFLE HOUSE? my god.

Deep takes over the world!

India began the countdown Monday to the launch of its first unmanned mission to the moon, adding a third nation to the Asian space race.

The lunar-orbiting spacecraft, Chandrayaan-1, is scheduled to blast off aboard an Indian-built rocket at 6:20 am (0050 GMT) on Wednesday from the Satish Dhawan Space Centre in Sriharikota on India's southeastern coast.

The launch is a major step for India as it seeks to keep pace with regional space competitors Japan and China. Last month, China became only the third country in the world to independently carry out a space walk.

All three countries have eyes on a share of the commercial satellite launch business and also see their space programmes as an important symbol of international stature and economic development.

The Chandrayaan-1 is being sent on a two-year, 80-million-dollar mission to provide an in-depth map of the mineral, chemical and topographical characteristics of the moon's surface.

I'm Dying of the Plague, Pop.

Erik York was a 37-year old biologist at Grand Canyon National Park who died after biopsying a female mountain lion infected with the pneumonic plague.

The female mountain lion had a bloody nose, but her hide bore no other signs of trauma. York found the big cat lying motionless near the canyon's South Rim. He was determined to learn why she died.
Because the park lacks a forensics lab, he did the postmortem in his garage, in a village of about 2,000 park employees.

When York cut into the lion, he must have released a cloud of bacteria and breathed in. On Nov. 2, York was found dead, a 21st-century victim of plague, the disease that in the Middle Ages turned Europe into a vast mortuary.

Some experts are concerned that the disease may make a comback.
I have two terms for those men and women: pusies, and twats.
No one in contact with York got the disease.

What's worse than a drunk pilot? An alcoholic drunk pilot preparing for a 9 a.m. transatlantic journy.

A United airlines pilot was arrested in the cockpit of his plane on suspicion of being drunk before take-off Sunday morning. The 44-year-old man was led off the plane by police following a breath test at Heathrow Airport's Terminal 1.
The flight was headed to San Francisco.

Police became involved after being tipped off by a member of the airport's ground staff, who suspected the pilot had been drinking before the 5,300-mile flight.

The legal limit for pilots is nine micrograms of alcohol in 100 millilitres of breath - more than three times stricter than the drink-drive limit which is 35 micrograms. Whatever that means. NO ROBOTUSSIN!

Exceprts from WSJ Obama letter.

Barack Obama for President
Friday, October 17, 2008; A24

THE NOMINATING process this year produced two unusually talented and qualified presidential candidates. There are few public figures we have respected more over the years than Sen. John McCain. Yet it is without ambivalence that we endorse Sen. Barack Obama for president.

The choice is made easy in part by Mr. McCain's disappointing campaign, above all his irresponsible selection of a running mate who is not ready to be president. It is made easy in larger part, though, because of our admiration for Mr. Obama and the impressive qualities he has shown during this long race. Yes, we have reservations and concerns, almost inevitably, given Mr. Obama's relatively brief experience in national politics. But we also have enormous hopes.

On Bush's failures: A McCain presidency would not equal four more years, but outside of his inner circle, Mr. McCain would draw on many of the same policymakers who have brought us to our current state. We believe they have richly earned, and might even benefit from, some years in the political wilderness.

OF COURSE, Mr. Obama offers a great deal more than being not a Republican.
Mr. Obama understands that the most important single counter to inequality, and the best way to maintain American competitiveness, is improved education, another subject of only modest interest to Mr. McCain.

The next president is apt to have the chance to nominate one or more Supreme Court justices. Given the court's current precarious balance, we think Obama appointees could have a positive impact on issues from detention policy and executive power to privacy protections and civil rights.

It is almost impossible to predict what policies will be called for by January, but certainly the country will want in its president a combination of nimbleness and steadfastness -- precisely the qualities Mr. Obama has displayed during the past few weeks. When he might have been scoring political points against the incumbent, he instead responsibly urged fellow Democrats in Congress to back Mr. Bush's financial rescue plan. He has surrounded himself with top-notch, experienced, centrist economic advisers -- perhaps the best warranty that, unlike some past presidents of modest experience, Mr. Obama will not ride into town determined to reinvent every policy wheel.

Mr. Obama's greatest deviation from current policy is also our biggest worry: his insistence on withdrawing U.S. combat troops from Iraq on a fixed timeline. Thanks to the surge that Mr. Obama opposed, it may be feasible to withdraw many troops during his first two years in office. But if it isn't -- and U.S. generals have warned that the hard-won gains of the past 18 months could be lost by a precipitous withdrawal -- we can only hope and assume that Mr. Obama would recognize the strategic importance of success in Iraq and adjust his plans.

IT GIVES US no pleasure to oppose Mr. McCain. Over the years, he has been a force for principle and bipartisanship. He fought to recognize Vietnam, though some of his fellow ex-POWs vilified him for it. He stood up for humane immigration reform, though he knew Republican primary voters would punish him for it. He opposed torture and promoted campaign finance reform, a cause that Mr. Obama injured when he broke his promise to accept public financing in the general election campaign.

ANY PRESIDENTIAL vote is a gamble, and Mr. Obama's résumé is undoubtedly thin. We had hoped, throughout this long campaign, to see more evidence that Mr. Obama might stand up to Democratic orthodoxy and end, as he said in his announcement speech, "our chronic avoidance of tough decisions."

But Mr. Obama's temperament is unlike anything we've seen on the national stage in many years. He is deliberate but not indecisive; eloquent but a master of substance and detail; preternaturally confident but eager to hear opposing points of view. He has inspired millions of voters of diverse ages and races, no small thing in our often divided and cynical country. We think he is the right man for a perilous moment.

times, they are a changing

Wash Post supports Obama.
NYT to do so on Sunday.
How interesting, that as Bush fucked up harder and harder, Drudge got more and more alienated, and as goes Drudge, as goes the mainstream media.

sluts wear spandex.

JUBA, Sudan (Reuters) - South Sudan is cracking down on one of the largest problems in the nation since the Janjaweed: young women wearing tight trousers.

Police arrested dozens of women -- many on their way home from church -- in the capital Juba last week on charges of disturbing the peace. Guess the men just can't take a bit of ass. Officers said the clothing proved they belonged to youth gangs. I'd say yes, if those gangs are Shakira aficionados.

This comes after Juba county commissioner Albert Pitia Redentore banned all displays of gang behavior-- a threat to traditional values.

A government statement said Redentore was removed form office by President Salva Kiir Friday.

Which is excellent, because how in gods name are these men gonna have anything to jerk off to if everyone in Sudan starts wearing garbage bag dresses.

DONT EAT THE NUTS!

BERLIN (Reuters) - Thieves who stole 660 pounds of hazelnuts in Germany have been urgently warned not to eat them.

Hamburg police spokesman Holger Vehren said the sacks containing the nuts were full of poisonous hydrogen phosphate gas, used to extend their shelf life. The nuts must first be treated to make them safe for consumption.

"We're looking for the perpetrators because they could face a very serious health risk if they eat these hazelnuts," he said. "The gas is even lethal if they inhale it."

Klitschko is fucking GROSS.

BERLIN (Reuters) - Vitali Klitschko used his son's pissy diapers to keep his fists from swelling up after winning his WBC heavyweight title bout against Nigeria's Samuel Peter, the Ukrainian told a German newspaper on Tuesday.

Klitschko said he wrapped them around his hands and it helped him recover.

"Baby wee is good because it's pure, doesn't contain toxins and doesn't smell," the 37-year old boxer told Bild after he won back the WBC title on Saturday.

"I wrap nappies filled with my three-year-old son Max's wee around my fists," he said, adding he got the idea from his grandmother. "The nappies hold the liquid and the swelling stays down."

Klitschko said Peter should try the diaper trick as well.

Which is grosser? Using piss to bring down the swelling, or the thought of an adult male prize fighter using the word wee?

Scientists confirm shark's ‘virgin birth’

Scientists have confirmed the second case of a "virgin birth" in a shark. In a report in The Journal of Fish Biology, scientists said DNA testing proved that a pup carried by a female Atlantic blacktip shark in the Virginia Aquarium & Marine Science Center contained no genetic material from a male.

this is the band i saw last night.

note the man dressed as a shower in the top left. A SHOWER? AMAZING.

vid of the day.