A Woodsy Show and Tell.

HAMILTON, N.J. -- Officials at a Hamilton Township school are hoping for a return to normacyl Tuesday, a day after class was disrupted by two deer leaping through a window.

Pastor Lance Walker of the Faith Baptist School says the deer jumped into a teacher's supply room Monday morning, startling three students and a teacher who were working on a lesson.

They managed to get out and close the door, leaving the deer to trash the room.
The school canceled outdoor recess for the day.

By early afternoon, animal control officers showed up and tranquilized the animals so they could be taken away from the school.

ALIENS!

MORRISTOWN, N.J. (CBS) ― Strange lights were seen hovering over Morris County in New Jersey. The red blinking lights could be seen on Monday night, and officials thought they had figured out what caused them.
Now, they're not so sure.

Between 8:30 and 9 p.m., the Hurley family in Whippany captured images of a bizarre object in the sky and contacted WCBSTV.com.

"It was unsettling for sure," said Cindy Hurley. "It was something you've never seen before, and a very strange pattern."

Eleven-year-old Kristin was the first to spot them, a group of three lights together, and two lights together, seen in the horizon through the trees. "I looked up outside. I was really scared and saw five red lights," she said.

The family all went out onto their deck to look at the strange sight. Paul Hurley, a pilot who works at Morristown Airport, said they weren't planes.

At 8:28, the Hanover Township police received the first of seven 911 calls.

"It looks like flares attached to balloons," said a caller.

Paul Hurley, who called the Morristown Airport control tower, says the lights had also been spotted from there, and they caused no interference with flight operations. Between those officials and the Morristown Police, the best guess as to what the lights were: nothing more than a prank, roadside flares attached to helium balloons. Yet, they left rather quickly.

There's been no report of any recovered, and police don't know who released them.

I mean, are you kidding me?

you need viagra and pipes? No PROB!

Bogota police have charged a convenience store worker with illegally selling Viagra and generic Cialis -- along with marijuana pipes, scales and other drug-related items -- from behind the counter.

Ahmet Kaya, 30, is being held at the Bergen County Jail on $20,000 bail but cannot be bailed out because of an immigration issue, said Detective Robert Piterski. Kaya is wanted by immigration authorities for overstaying his visa by several months, he said.

The paraphernalia, which included “one-hitters” and marijuana grinders[what?] was in plain sight behind glass, Piterski said. He acknowledged that stores sometimes claim that the paraphernalia can be used for legitimate purposes.

Kaya was also selling loose cigarettes to minors, the detective said.

UMDNJ Fires Paramedics Over Alleged KKK Hazing

The University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey has fired three paramedics over an apparent hazing incident involving KKK-style robes and crosses.

The incident was recorded on a cel lcamera. Photos show trainees wearing KKK robes this past Sunday.

UMDNJ President William Owen told the Star-Ledger that the incident was some kind of hazing of the trainees, who are students from Northeastern University in Boston. Officials from both institutions condemned the act and the photos.

"UMDNJ has never and will never tolerate attitudes and behaviors that discriminate against any individual or group. The actions taken by the individuals in this instance are appalling. Nonetheless, the investigation is still ongoing. The institution has an aggressive zero-tolerance philosophy for wrongdoing and is committed to fostering an environment that protects and supports all of its workforce," university officials said in a statement.

death by Tiki Torch oil!

An 84-year-old Burlington County, NJ woman died and five other Jersey residents were sickened in separate incidents after drinking small amounts of torch oil they mistook for apple juice, poison control officials said yesterday.

An 8-year-old Bergen County girl sustained permanent lung damage after drinking from a glass on the kitchen counter filled with what she thought was apple juice.

The other victims were from Hillsborough, Elizabeth, Paterson and Burlington County, with four of them, including the Bergen County girl, requiring hospitalization.

One person mistook the oil for bottled water and tried to make coffee, but didn't get sick, an official said.

"I can understand easily why someone would mistake it for food. If it was on a shelf or on a table, you would have to look pretty hard," he said, although he noted the bottle has a warning label, written in both English and Spanish.
HOW?
How is that understandable? This is RETARDED.

School locked down after 'ninja' sighted in woods

BARNEGAT, N.J. - HOLY CRAP A NINJA!
Public schools were locked down after a student reported seeing a ninja running in the woods behind hte town elementary school.
Turns out. It was a camp counselor. Dressed as a ninja. The dude was late for costume day.

Eastampton man suffers burns from dropped cigarette

EASTAMPTON -- A 47-year-old township man sustained severe burns to his legs
and groin areas Wednesday night when he accidently ignited rubbing alcohol he
was applying to his body with a cigarette that fell into his lap, a township
police clerk said.

Joseph Russell had second-degree burns after the shorts he was wearing apparently
ignited from the dropped cigarette.


WHY WAS HE APPLYING RUBBING ALCOHOL TO HIS BODY?!?!?

Beer-sipping clients have taxes done in a bar

HOBOKEN, New Jersey (Reuters) - The sounds of the Rolling Stones pour from the speakers while beer glasses are filled and a jovial game of darts takes place 10 feet away.
It's just another night at the office for Carmine Sodora, certified public accountant.

Sodora founded Tavern Tax in 2005. For 10 weeks leading up to the April 15 deadline to submit U.S. income tax returns, he brings his tax-filing services to bars on weekday nights and weekend afternoons. He didn't know of anyone else offering such a service.

"I always say to people, 'Where's your beer? I can't have one but you can,'" Sodora said.

Although this year he has focused on Hoboken -- a small New Jersey city across the Hudson River from Manhattan, and home to 53 bars and a young population -- he has worked out of New York City bars in the past.

"I was looking to expand my personal tax business. It's primarily to go after a demographic -- yuppies," the 30-year-old said, referring to young urban professionals. "I've seen a 75 percent repeat, year after year.

tee hee!

Naked man showering on front lawn says 'I needed to take a bath'
VINELAND -- A man was arrested and charged with lewdness Thursday after two young girls and their mother witnessed him showering naked on his front lawn, police said.

Fred Michaux, 49, of West Oxford Street, admitted to showering on his front lawn with a garden hose telling police, "I'm sorry, but I need to take a bath." He also said he did not realize he was being watched.

A 49-year-old West Oxford Street woman was walking outside her residence with her two daughters aged 8 and 9 at 3:55 p.m., when they noticed Michaux showering across the street.

Upon seeing the man, one of the daughters said, "Mom, there's Fred taking a shower outside again," according to police.

Michaux was taken to police headquarters and processed. He was later released on a summons pending a court date.