Humanoids are stupid. Laugh at them.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Boston Globe Posts "10 Most Eggregiously Necessary Apologies," Hilarity Ensues.

10. The prank
"We apologize to the city of Boston that part of the marketing campaign was mistaken for a public danger.''
-- Phil Kent,The prank
9. The pants
"I did nothing wrong at the Minneapolis airport ... I regret the decision to plead guilty ... Let me be clear. I am not gay. I never have been gay ... [I should not have kept this arrest to my myself, and I should have told my family and friends.]''
-- Senator Larry Craig, Republican of Idaho, on Aug. 28, 2007
8. The dogs
"I want to apologize to all the young kids out there for my immature acts ... I need to grow up ... I will redeem myself. I have to.'' -- Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, Aug. 27, 2007
7. The Big Dawg
"Indeed, I did have a relationship with Monica Lewinsky that was not appropriate. In fact it was wrong. It constituted a critical lack in judgment and a personal failure on my part, for which I am solely and completely responsible ... I misled people, including even my wife. I deeply regret that.''
-- President Bill Clinton, Aug. 17, 1998
6. Ugly Chelsea?
"I made a very unfortunate and insensitive remark. It was the wrong thing to do, and I have no excuse for it.''
-- Senator John McCain, Republican of Arizona, June 11, 1998
In case you're not familiar with this one, McCain said that Chelsea was so bunk
b/c she was the love child of Hillary and Janet Reno.
5. The columnist in need of advice
"I should not have used a slang term for Polish. It was poor judgment, and I apologize.''
--Ann Landers, Nov. 30, 1995
Bitch called the Pope a pollack! The POPE!
4. Whoops!
"I am apologizing not only to the Williams family but to the Mattapan community and the entire city for this tragedy.''
-- Former Boston Police Commissioner Paul Evans, March 26, 1994
Death of 75-yr-old retired minister...after the SWAT team cuffed him-by accident.
3. The delayed response
The apology: "Judgments were made regarding the assignment of John Geoghan which, in retrospect, were tragically incorrect.''
-- Cardinal Bernard Law, Jan. 9, 2002
2. His Penthouse pal...
"I'm very sorry for what I did. I did not mean to ruin anyone's life ... You have to learn by the mistakes you made in life and go on and be a better person. Right now Wade Boggs is doing that, and he is going to be a better person."
--Wade Boggs, Feb. 1, 1989
1. Boys are better?
"Despite reports to the contrary, I did not say, nor do I believe, that girls are intellectually less able than boys, or that women lack the ability to succeed at the highest levels of science ... I deeply regret the impact of my comments and apologize for not having weighed them more carefully.''
-- Lawrence Summers, Jan. 19, 2005 [ex-Harvard Pres]


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