Humanoids are stupid. Laugh at them.

Friday, April 18, 2008

just b/c you dont recognize her doesnt make mommy love you any less.

Dr. Michael Salzhauer, in Bal Harbour, Fla, does not save lives. He saves faces. And asses, and noses, and tummies.
From the tragic life of being on a fat, ugly woman.
Now----he's taken his surgical magic to a whole new level. For a woman telling her friends, it's not hard to tell her friends why she got new tits, or a new nose. But telling your child can be a challenge.

SALZHAUER TO THE RESCUE!
"My Beautiful Mommy" (Big Tent Books), comes out this Mother's Day. It features a perky mother explaining to her child why she's having cosmetic surgery (a nose job and tummy tuck). Naturally, it has a happy ending: mommy winds up "even more" beautiful than before, and her daughter is thrilled.

What's the market for a children's picture book about moms getting cosmetic surgery? No one specifically tracks the number of tummy-tuck-and-breast-implant combos (or "mommy makeovers," as they're called), but according to the latest numbers from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, breast augmentation was the most popular cosmetic surgery procedure last year, with 348,000 performed. Of those, about one-third were for women over 40. There were 148,000 tummy tucks—up 1 percent from the previous year.

Dr. Salzhauer said so many moms brought kids to their appointments that he was motivated to stock up on lollipops in his office. He says that mysterious doctor's visits can be frightening for children. "Parents generally tend to go into this denial thing. They just try to ignore the kids' questions completely." But, he adds, children "fill in the blanks in their imagination" and then feel worse when they see "mommy with bandages," he says. "With the tummy tucks, [the mothers] can't lift anything. They're in bed. The kids have questions."

Illustrations in the bookshow a crook-nosed mom with loose tummy skin under her half shirt picking up her young daughter early from school one day and taking her to a strapping and handsome "Dr. Michael."

The girl asks: "Why are you going to look different?"
Mom responds: "Not just different, my dear — prettier!"

"There are people who are going to read this and say you're indoctrinating kids and idealizing beauty. That's not the intention of the book at all," he said. "The intention is to allow parents who are going through this process anyway to have a vehicle to explain it to their kids."
Salzhauer said he performs about 200 tummy tucks and breast procedures a year, the bulk on mothers.

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