Happy Birthday, Chuck "Jesus" Norris!

The Globe compiled some legends about the guy.
here are my faves:

*Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.
*Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).
*When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Another legend is that Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
*When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
*Chuck Norris does not sleep.
He waits.
*If you spell "Chuck Norris" while playing Scrabble - you win. Forever.
*Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive reentry without a spacesuit. On July 19, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris reentered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3,000 degrees.
An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

for the rest...