The best article intro....just about ever.

Sept. 9, 2007 | Nothing is as it seems! We live in a world of illusion. The once-carefree Butterscotch Stallion is suicidal, Mother Teresa repeatedly doubted the existence of God, and Republican senators don't hate gays, they want to marry them and have like a million of their babies. Or at least they'd like to give them some sexy fondlings in a bathroom stall.

So would I, frankly. But first, I have to come to terms with the fact that every single public figure on earth turns out to be his or her polar opposite in private -- except for Ronald Reagan, who was exactly as cheery and simple-minded as he appeared.

Next week, we'll probably discover that Nancy Grace is a serial killer, Pat Buchanan is into bestiality, and Angelina Jolie beats her 22 adopted children with wire hangers.

City of lost children
But then, if Jolie really wanted her children to suffer, she'd send them to "Kid Nation," which is CBS' really nice, empowering name for the child labor camp it has set up in the middle of the desert in New Mexico.
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