Top ten worst Christmas cracker jokes ever

A survey by Nuts magazine has produced a top ten most groan-inducing festive gags, with a witticism about Santa's choice of pizza securing the top spot.
The joke asks: What is Santa's favourite pizza?

Answer: One that's deep pan, crisp and even.
Andrew Linn, Professor of Linguistics at the University of Sheffield, deconstructed the joke.
"The essence of a fine joke is clever and original use of language, often exploiting some sort of ambiguity.
"This joke has been voted the worst Christmas cracker joke because it is almost too clever," Prof Linn said.
"It uses ambiguity in how the words are put together ('deep pan' = 'deep and') as well as contextual ambiguity (pizzas and a Christmas carol).
"In short, once you get it, it's a real groaner."
But what are the favourite jokes of Telegraph readers?
Our top ten jokes sent in by readers include some classic cracker jokes that have been around for generations, as well as a few clever ones thrown in.
If you don't agree with our list, send in your favourite.

What's brown and sweet and glides around an ice rink?
Bourneville and Dean

What's a specimen?
An Italian Astronaut

What do you call a short sighted dinosaur?
A do you think he saw us!

What do you call a man with brown paper trousers?
Russell

What do you call a man with a pole through his leg?
Rodney

Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?
He's a fun guy to be with.

Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
He had low elf-esteem.

Who was England's first chiropodist?
William the Corncurer

Why should husbands make the early morning tea for their wives?
Because the Bible says He Brews

What's the longest word in the English language?
Smiles, because there is a "mile" between the first and the last letters.

Nuts magazine's top 10 worst Christmas cracker jokes.

1. What is Santa's favourite pizza?

One that's deep pan, crisp and even.

2. On which side do chickens have the most feathers?

The outside.

3. What kind of paper likes music?

(W)rapping paper.

4. What's white and goes up?

A confused snowflake.

5. What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?

Annette.

6. Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop?

It blew away.

7. What's furry and minty?

A polo bear.

8. How do snowmen get around?

They ride an icicle.

9. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy.

10. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?

Lost.